More of "The Waiting Game"

That's right - nothing new to post here... again. The only saving grace to this is the fact that I still do not have my super-secret FBI fingerprint clearance back, and when I called last week to find out why (since I was told 3-4 weeks and it had been 4 weeks) I talked to a very friendly customer service rep at the FBI (that's right - the FBI has a Customer Service Department - who knew? I think I just found my next job!) who told me that the process actually takes 8-10 weeks, and that while they try to do them more quickly for adoptions, there was no guarantee. He confirmed that my request was "in process" but couldn't give me any more information than that. As I have said to many of you, after all this I should have higher security clearances than Obama - wow!!

I miss my little RP something fierce and now that her room is ready, clothes are bought and in the closet, stroller and car seat are ready to go, and toy box is assembled, I have run out of things to keep me busy and am going stir crazy right about now. I am hoping and praying that she is warm, safe, and happy, and that she has a great holiday at the orphanage, while also keeping my fingers crossed that once the Russian holidays are over I get a swift court date and am able to bring my little RP home sometime in February!!!

Nothing new to post... :(

Sadly I don't have anything new and exciting to post - we're still in a holding patter and this week it will be THREE WEEKS since I've left Russia for home and THREE WEEKS waiting for a court date. The wait is hard but with the holidays rapidly approaching I've been busy enough that it isn't something I have time to dwell on.

I've been busy buying RP clothes for the trip home and find myself geared toward pink, soft, and snuggly outfits. While she is 20 months old, her size and her weight have me buying her clothes in the 6-9 month size range - yes, she is that tiny! My hope is that once she comes home she'll start to catch up with others her age and that she'll grow out of these teeny-tiny clothes in no time!

I've also put the finishing touches (well, almost finished anyway!) on her nursery by finally getting the crib together, and adding the cutest Disney Princess bench/toy box to her room. No, it doesn't necessarily go with the "zoo animals" theme but Cinderella's dress is blue, so it ties in nicely with the blue in the room (yeppers - I am working hard to justify it - I know!). I also have her car seat ready to go in the car (you guessed it - it's pink!) and I spent one night last week putting her stroller together (everyone will see us coming in this - it's bright pink and orange!!! No lie - and while it sounds hideous it's actually quite cute, and now the Winnie the Pooh umbrella stroller will be going over to my parents' where I'm sure it will get a TON of use!). All this on top of trying to get gifts for the family and planning out the holiday.

I'm wishing my little RP a Merry Christmas from afar, sad that I won't be able to celebrate with her this year, but comforted by the fact that this will be her last Christmas alone - next year we'll be a family... and I can't wait!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I don't say it often enough, but I love y'all!!! :)

More.Paperwork.

Yes, just when you thought there couldn't POSSIBLY be anymore paperwork to be done, lo and behold there is! At least this time it was only one document, and it only had to be notarized - the "Acceptance/Confirmation of Referral" document. Bonus on this one is that I was being lazy and took it to the Harris Bank across the street instead of schlepping to the main branch about 6 blocks away, and the Teller Manager was thrilled to break in her new notary stamp! She wasn't being sarcastic either - she told me she couldn't wait to break in her new stamp, so I let her know how honored I was to help her out with that! Sometimes it's the little things, right??? :)

No news on when I'll be heading over for court - but we are only officially in the new wait for 1.5 weeks so far. I miss my little RP and am completely overcompensating by shopping up a storm - her closet has gone from half filled to almost full on one side, and if I don't hear something soon I'll have more clothes for her than I'll know what to do with! I also got the car seat, some tub toys, and made the decision that a changing table is NOT in order - we'll make do with the floor at this point as I am hopeful that she will remain somewhat potty-trained after she comes home! (Wishful thinking, I know!) I still need to get the potty chair and the stroller I picked out, along with some onesies in her size (I only have 18 and 24 month plain onesies, and she is clearly at the 9-12 month size right now, so the ones I have, even if they shrink, will swallow her up!) but I'm going to trek to the Carter's outlet in Aurora after Christmas to get those as they seem to have the best deals.

Until then, keeping my fingers crossed for an early court date and wearing out my pictures from the first trip by going through them again, and again, and again (you get the idea!)!

One week waiting...

Yes, we are back to the waiting game. Today marks one week that I've been back in the US, without my little RP. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for an early court date and am hoping to hear something soon about how long the wait truly may be. I've been trying to keep busy with shopping for RP (as well as the holidays - whoops! almost forgot about that little task!), who now has a growing wardrobe in her room, just waiting to be washed and broken in by her!

The car seat has also arrived and now I am fretting about how it is going to fit in the car. Hmmm... maybe a convertible with a small child isn't such a great idea, but it's just going to have to do for now, and at some point soon I am going to need to order the stroller and toy box I have picked out, and make a decision as to whether or not I need to get a changing table (she is potty trained right now, but everything I have heard and read says that she most likely will regress when she leaves the orphanage).

I keep wondering what she is doing, what she is thinking, and what it will be like to go back. It is definitely going to take baby steps to get her to open up, relax, and trust me, and the agency has said to start small and make sure to keep her external stimulations small at first since she is obviously overwhelmed by a lot of new things and new people at once. I'm just ready to move on and move forward - the wait has already gone on too long and she deserves to be home with her family - hopefully it won't be much longer now. :)

Home again...

The final days of the trip were a whirlwind, so I wasn't able to post again until today. Our final day of visiting was by far the mos successful - although RP started to cry when we first came in again, she allowed me to hold her and actually calmed down while she was sitting on my lap. Yay!!!

It was hard to finally start to make some progress, only to have to leave again, but I'm hoping for a court date soon, so we can finalize the process and bring little RP home!

Visiting RP was the highlight, but the last day was chock-full of stuff to do before leaving. I had my 7-doctor physical during which time I met wit 7 different doctors to review stuff like previous health issues (surgeries, infectious diseases, etc), do blood work, and even meet with a psychiatrist! I passed that with flying colors (after 4 hours at the hospital - yikes!), then rushed off to the notary to officially sign the paperwork that I wanted to proceed with adopting RP! Even back at the orphanage I finally got to meet with the doctor who said that outside of her very small stature (at 19 months old she is only 27" tall and weighs a little over 17.5 pounds!) she is relatively healthy.

The travel back to the states was long and arduous - our flight out of St. Petersburg was at 5:40 a.m. so the driver picked us up at 3:20 a.m.! We had to go through security TWICE in Russia, but the flight was pretty empty so we could spread out and doze until we hit Frankfurt.

The airport in Frankfurt was crazy big and spread out - and it took forever to find the gate and get over to where we were supposed to wait. Our flight was PACKED coming back which made it a nightmare to sit on that plane for 9 hours when there was not an empty seat to be had (unlike our flight over which was about 1/3 empty!). I have never been so happy to get off a plane before in my entire life, and am already wondering how I can swing business class upgrades for the next adventure across the pond!

I never dreamed I would be heading over to Russia, but now that I have I can't wait to go back! I continually wonder how my little RP is doing, what she's doing, and if she misses me, and now that I've met her I can't wait for the day she officially becomes part of the family, and gets to come home with me! Fingers crossed for an early court date!!! :)

Afternoon visit (and some pics too!)

As promised I'm posting a couple of pics - these are from the morning visit:

The afternoon visit went a little bit better, thank goodness! When they brought her into the room again she took one look at us and started screaming (again!)

but the speech therapist came in and helped calm her down and for a very short period of time we were playing (without tears!) AND she even smiled a couple of times! She was pretty tired by the end of our visit, but it looks like we made progress (fingers crossed!):

Yay for small miracles! I am exhausted and sick with a killer cold, but I feel a small sense of victory - let's just hope I get to go back for one last visit tomorrow before we fly home on Thursday - then a whole new countdown begins!
(P.S. If it looks like I am sweating in these pictures above, I AM - they literally keep it in the 80's in the orphanage and a wool sweater, while necessary outside, was way overkill for that type of heat!)

Morning visit with RP

Up and at 'em early again today to get ready to go and make our "official" visit to RP! The coordinator picked us up at 9:20ish and we got to the orphanage right as the kids were getting ready to go outside. RP was the last, and by far the tiniest, child out the door today, and while she looked at us with a hint of familiarity, when she realized she was going out with us and not the other kids in her group she started to cry again. The crying turned to screaming again, and this went on for about 5 minutes until we figured out that she wanted to walk around, and to my complete pleasure she took my hand and let me walk her around parts of the playground. She stopped crying, let me put her mittens on, and even looked me in the eye a few times without crying, and we got a few really good pictures which I haven't uploaded yet, and will have to follow (on a separate, but related note, due to technical difficulties we now have to use the WiFi in the lobby as the internet service in the room is broken). She played with the bear and the doll I brought her, hugging them, then throwing them on the ground.

I thought we were making progress when she even walked with us inside, with only one other little meltdown on the playground, and she even let me take off her hat, mittens, snowsuit, and boots AND let me put on her shoes. However, once her outside things were put away and she realized that we were all in the same room with her and she wasn't going back with the other kids, she started screaming again - to varying degrees, and then launched into a full-fledged tantrum, complete with kicking and throwing her head back (once so hard that she knocked herself over). They keep telling me that this is natural, and a good thing, but it breaks my heart to see her so upset, especially after I thought we were making progress when we were outside. We are supposed to go back this afternoon, meet with the doctor, and visit with her again, so we'll see what happens.

Please keep those positive thoughts and prayer coming - it is disheartening to see someone you love so upset, particularly when it is coupled with sleep deprivation (I just can't seem to adjust to the time difference) and a full-fledged cold/sinus infection which manifested itself yesterday - of course. Sending lots of love to everyone back in the States, and I appreciate everyone's positive comments and love shown through the blog and e-mail - it truly means the world to me. :)

Our first meeting!

Today was the big day, and both my mom and I were up early to get ready for it! At 10 a.m. Svetlana picked us up and we headed over to a Committee of the Ministry of Education to officially receive my referral of RP! I was excited just to have made it because driving around the city literally makes driving downtown Chicago seem like nothing, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that we saw cars parked on the sidewalk! (I would have taken a picture, but that would have been pretty obvious!)

The meeting at the Committee literally lasted all of 10 minutes. They read me the file they had on RP from their database and showed me her picture, then asked me if I was still interested in meeting her and officially accepting their invitation to go and see her - of course I said "yes!" so I signed the paperwork and we headed over to the orphanage to finally meet RP!

At the orphanage we met with the social worker who confirmed that RP is smart, beautiful, and ready for a family! She is walking unassisted, speaking two-word sentences, follows directions, and was moved up to the 18-month age group a tad early because she is so advanced! After chatting with her (through the interpreter!) we headed back downstairs to finally meet her, and what a moment!

They brought her in (she walked in on her own!) in a blue and orange dress and hot pink shoes, and she took one look around at everyone and immediately her guard was up! I picked her up, got two quick pictures of her on my lap before her lips started to tremble and then she started to cry, which quickly erupted into full-fledged screams!

These pictures were snapped immediately before the blood-curdling screams began and never really went away - just got louder and softer depending on who was trying what with her! She definitely has great lungs and is NOT afraid to let you know that she is not happy! While it would have been nice to have her come in with a huge smile and snuggle up, everything I have read and everything they told me today tells me that this was actually a really good sign - she has bonded to her caretakers and is definitely aware of "stranger danger" which hopefully all point to a healthy ability to attach! We only spent about 20 minutes with her as we actually had her while she was supposed to be down napping, but we are headed back at 9:15 tomorrow morning and should get more of a chance to play with her outside, take some more pictures, and help her get to know us more! My mom was in heaven and even got to hold her for about a minute during all this (I think I held her for about 4 minutes total) and while it's hard to leave her there, it is comforting to see her surrounded by people who obviously love her and care about her, and she for them.

On other travel news (the not so nearly important kind) we haven't seen much of the city due to it being so cold, but I found out that I needed to have rubles in hand for my medical exam on Wednesday morning (as in, ready in the lobby for pickup at 7:15 a.m. Wednesday morning - yikes!) so Svetlana gave us directions to the Currency Exchange at the end of the block and we were left to our own devices. We walked the two and a half blocks to the Currency Exchange (my mom was a trooper because her asmatha was kicking her butt during the walk!), then stood in line for 30 minutes while one other person was being helped (makes me appreciate the service we get in the States for sure!) and cashed out American dollars for rubles in about 5 minutes, with only a slight issue in language. Walking back I took a few pictures of the St. Isaac Cathedral and our hotel, and hopefully will have tons more photos tomorrow!

Finally in Russia!

So we are HERE - finally in St. Petersburg! Travel was long - we left O'Hare yesterday at 3:40 p.m. (I can back up here and say we were TO O'Hare at 1:00 p.m.!), and arrived in Frankfurt, Germany at 7 a.m. this morning (we lost 7 hours in transit), then hopped a "beep-beep" cart to whiz us from gate B26 to B47 for an 8:10 a.m. flight to St. Petersburg, which actually ended up leaving a tad late. I honestly couldn't even tell you what time we got to St. Petersburg because by that point I was tired, hot and sweaty, and grouchy, so glancing at the clock was last on my to-do list. We were met at the gate with a wheelchair for my mom, and literally whizzed through customs and immigration! Our bags were waiting for us by the time we got to baggage claim, and tipping the wheelchair guy (who doubled as our porter for our bags) ensured a speedy process, which was nice. My head was spinning so badly that I totally missed Svetlana, the agency rep who was there to pick us up!

We got a great tour of St. Petersburg on our way from the airport and I have to say it is an amazing city - absolutely beautiful and completely historic! We checked into the hotel, unpacked, and had dinner at the restaurant here since we are both too tired to venture out and about right now. Sleeping on the flight from Chicago to Frankfurt helped, but I'm completely slaphappy right now and having a hard time with the fact that I am ready to go to bed but it's only 11:23 a.m. back home (we are 8 hours ahead here, so I'm still ready for bed super duper early!).

Tomorrow is a big day - we head over to the Ministry of Education at 10 a.m. to officially receive my "referral," then depending on what time we are done there and whether or not RP is down to one nap a day or still taking two, we will head over to the orphanage to meet her - the moment we have been waiting for!!! Tuesday it looks like we might get to visit her TWO times, then Wednesday its off to my seven-doctor physical (which could take hours!), then, if there is enough time ANOTHER trip to the orphanage before heading over to the notary to sign the official paperwork.

Emotions are high right now - both my mom and I are crabby, sleep-deprived, elated, excited, nervous, and plum worn out, but this moment has been too long in coming! I'll keep everyone posted, and will be thinking pleasant thoughts tonight, for I have a feeling that for as long as we've waited for this time with her, it will all be over too quickly and I'll be back home waiting to do it all again!

It's almost here!

So, I have to start by apologizing for not posting and keeping everyone up to speed. Many of you know that I have been an utter basket case over the last week or so, trying to gather paperwork, explain the apostille process, and coerce and nag people into completing my paperwork requests so it can be on its merry way.

I am happy to report that the package containing all of the new paperwork is on its way to the Secretary of State's office to be apostilled, and I am praying that everything meets the criteria and nothing has to be redone (although I have a nagging feeling that SOMETHING will - I just don't know what yet). I have been touched by the kindness of strangers and the lengths to which some people have gone to help me out, and it has been quite the humbling experience, one which has reinstated my faith in fellow mankind.

I have been growing more and more panicked over not having my passports and visas in hand and today found out that due to simple human error at the Russian embassy these documents were never sent out yesterday, and that I will not be receiving them today as originally promised. I have to say that my frantic e-mails and phone calls to the agency paid off big time because once they were made aware of this, the courier personally drove to the embassy, picked up my packet, and deposited it directly AT FedEx, and I have confirmed that it is now en route, scheduled to be here by 10:30 a.m. Friday. WHEW! I have to say my agency is worth every penny paid to them as they have been phenomenal in responding to questions and issues immediately, and I feel bad for those who are working with agencies who aren't as well connected or quick to respond, as my coordinator did tell me that she found out that there were passports and visas in that pile at the Embassy for people who were supposed to travel on Thanksgiving, and there is no way these documents will be to them in time now. Can you even imagine?

I really should be working, but I just can't focus. Everything right now is tied up in this trip and praying that it all goes off without a hitch, I sign the papers to proceed, and we are granted a speedy court date. Of course, as I say this, I was made aware that the Russian Orthodox Christmas is in January and everything comes to a screeching halt for about two weeks because of this, so there might be some delay in going back for court.

I'll try to post again before we leave, and I am definitely going to try to carve out time over there to document what's going on (and maybe, just maybe, post a few pictures).

If I run out of time and don't get to post again, please know that I am thinking of each of you and thanking God I have you all in my life. I truly have the BEST family and the most FANTASTIC friends a person could ever hope for, and this Thanksgiving I am most thankful that all of you are in my life!!!

More.Paperwork.

Yes, that's right - MORE paperwork. I am pretty convinced right about now that there isn't a form or a clearance that I HAVEN'T done at this point. Last night I had a complete meltdown and was feeling absolutely wretched about things, but we're taking it one form at a time and moving on. Today's paper chase, believe it or not done AROUND actually working today, involved the following:

- Dropping off a copy of the local police clearance letter that I have had done TWICE now at the Joliet Police station, only to be told that the person that does those letters was NOT in the office today, and the girl I gave the copy to had NO idea what I was talking about. Not a good way to start the day, as this was literally at 7:15 a.m.
- Going to the IL State Bureau of Identification (betcha didn't know such a place existed, didja - neither did I... until today) to pick up the blank FBI fingerprinting card. Yes, that's right - MORE fingerprints. I think at this point I should have higher security clearance than Barack Obama. Mind you, these people don't actually DO the fingerprinting, they sit behind bullet-proof glass and after buzzing you in, they hand you a blank card. I want that job.
- Driving out to New Lenox to drop off the medical clearance form I need done (times two) and the cover letter for the copy of the medical licence (ditto on the times two). These forms basically require the doctor to sign them both, make two copies of her medical license, and have them notarized. Apparently THIS is a problem because they don't HAVE a notary on staff (despite telling my mom a month and a half ago that they did) AND because I didn't have a current TB test on file (we'll get back to this). After being assured that the office manager, who comes in at 8:30 (yes, at this point it was only 8:05!) would call me back in an hour, I was on my way home, to work remotely due to things literally blowing up in the office.
- 9:30 I call the people to whom I am entrusting my passport and our visas to find out when I can expect them back. No answer - left voice mail. NOT happy.
- 10:30 I call the doctor's office to check on the medical clearance letter - can pick it up on my "lunch," right? Nope - it is now that I find out about the fact that I have to have a TB test done - today - before the doctor will sign it, oh yeah AND that she won't sign it for another 48 hours, when I return to her office for them to "read" my test. **sigh** Make appointment for 1:15 TB test today - ugh.
- 1:15 head BACK to New Lenox for TB test - painful and gross, but done. On my way home I call the fingerprinting people (aka: the Evidence Department at the Joliet Police Station) to find out if I can coerce them into taking my fingerprints today. Woo-hoo - they have someone available and I should head right over.
- 1:30 arrive at the police station and walk all the way around the building, in the rain, to the Evidence entrance, only to be told that I have to go to the Main Lobby, pay the fee, and bring the receipt back. Really? Okee dokee then - I trek BACK to the main entrance (which is the same place I dropped off my letter at 7:15 a.m.), pay the fee, get the receipt, and ask about my letter from almost 6.5 hours ago to be met with a blank stare and confirmation that the woman who is off on Wednesday is apparently the ONLY person who can write said letter and I should call back to check on it. Tomorrow. **double sigh** Alrighty then - I take my paid receipt, trek BACK around the building, in the rain, and FINALLY get the Evidence person to open the door. Said Evidence person was a police officer and it's a bit off putting to be met by someone wearing a gun - yikes!!! Luckily he was SUPER nice and did my fingerprints in record time, and I was off and on my way.
- Return home around 2:00ish and in randomly checking bank balances come to discover that Bank of America has posted my mortgage payment - TWICE, which is going to be a problem in writing out the fees check that is due to the agency, oh - this week. So I CALL BOA and was literally on the phone with them for 45 minutes. Good news - they will refund one of the postings. Bad news - they won't do it until I fax them a copy of my bank statement showing the double posting. I don't own a fax machine, so I ask if I can e-mail it - nope. Something about security issues - yadda, yadda, yadda - but maybe Customer Service of my bank will fax it for me? Great idea Miss BOA - let me call them. You guessed it - for security reasons Harris will NOT fax customer records, so now this needs to wait for me to hightail it into the office in the morning to get this done. Let's just say I did NOT need this little wrinkle right about now.
- 3:00ish I receive an e-mail from our HR person that my employment verification letters are done AND notarized - woo-hoo! I needed that good news and can now check that off my to-do list.
- 5:00 call the visa people BACK to try to get some answers on my visas/passports and you guessed it, went to voice mail. I am annoyed and do not leave a message but wonder how many American Airlines miles it would cost me to fly out there and kick someone's butt...

I know this is a MASSIVE post and I apologize for the length. Someday I am sure I will re-read this and chuckle over it all, while snuggling my little RP. For today though, I am annoyed, I am frazzled, and I am feeling completely demoralized. Tomorrow is another day, and it's another day closer to visiting my little RP for which I am oh-so grateful. I just need to get through today.

Agh! Too much to do!

So, I'm feeling overwhelmed today and am very much NOT enjoying being in the office. I feel like there are about 1,000 OTHER things I can/should be doing to get ready for this trip, and working is not among them. Then again, this job pays for the roof over my head and the food on the table and without it I would NOT be able to adopt RP in the first place, so staying in the good graces of my employer is probably a good idea. :)

I have starting compiling everything we need to bring on this trip into a big pile in RP's room and I am overwhelmed by the sight of it (yes, "overwhelmed" is apparently the topic of the day!). I thought we would be bale to squeeze everything we were bringing into our carry-on bags, but in reviewing Lufthansa's flight policies today I made the terrible discovery that because we are flying "Economy" class we are only allowed ONE carry-on bag and up to two checked bags per person. Our clothes and toiletries would fit into the carry-on no problem (welllll..... maybe no problem!) but we are bringing five pairs of winter boots, five winter coats (and one snowsuit), and six sets of hats/gloves for the orphanage plus a ton of toys and other clothes to donate. Even though the coats and boots are baby/toddler sized, they still take up a TON of space, so now we have to check the bags. I wouldn't be so concerned, but we literally land in Frankfurt at 7 a.m. (local time) and our flight to St. Petersburg leaves at 8:10 a.m. - 70 minutes to deplane and have our baggage moved to the new airplane. I don't like checking baggage when flying domestically - checking it for international is pretty much going to kill me. :)

Sense of accomplishment!

Today my mom and I did some MAJOR power shopping and I am happy to announce that we made some major headway in our search for the gifts for the orphanage! We purchased five winter coats, 5 pairs of winter boots, and 5 sets of hats and gloves - all at the request of the agency. Additionally, we picked up a few toys and I have a few items from when I thought I was adopting a boy (including an adorable blue snowsuit!) that we will also be donating, and I want to pick up a few more toys before we go.

Although I said I wasn't going to do it, we also bought RP some ADORABLE little outfits and now I'm praying that they will fit! We got a fluffy pink snowsuit and a three-piece pants outfit that included a pink t-shirt and adorable little rose colored fur coat, along with three little dresses, a fleecy pantsuit, a pair of fleece pants, and a couple of long-sleeved thermal onesies. I'm not kidding when I say that her closet is now half full, and again I'm praying that what I have picked up will fit as it is all SOOO cute!

The confirmations came for our e-tickets and I confirmed that the FedEx package containing our passports was delivered today so we are making some serious headway. I am ready to go NOW, and then feel like I need another three weeks to get ready - and it's been getting me up at 4 a.m. every day, so I'm hoping that getting some of this taken care of will help with that, and come two weeks from today we'll jump on that plane without a worry. (Yeah, yeah - those of you who know me know that ISN'T going to happen, but we can hope, can't we?)

It's all starting to come together... and I can't wait! :)

Feeling overwhelmed...

Be careful what you wish for - right? I have been waiting, hoping, and praying for travel dates since I first laid eyes on RP's picture back in August and was shocked on Wednesday when I finally got "the call" with my travel dates (actually TWO voice mails and an e-mail!). The last 48 hours have been a blur and I am beyond excited to finally be traveling to meet my little RP.

And nervous. I have been up at 4 a.m. the last two mornings my mind a whirl with questions, worries, thoughts, confusion, and more. I can't shut it off and I can't do anything about it, which is frustrating. Yesterday I made the reservations so it is becoming more real - we leave out of O'Hare around 3:30 p.m. on 11/28 and return to O'Hare around 1:30 p.m. on December 3 - five days (well, kinda six - we gain and lose days due to globetrotting across time zones), and we have a lot to do in those days. The GREAT news is that I am scheduled for not one, but TWO visits to the orphanage to meet RP, which is better than the one visit I expected. My mom and I completed our visa applications last night and they are officially on their way to Potomac, MD to be couried to the Russian Embassy in DC and with any luck we'll have them back by next weekend. This weekend its working on the nursery, getting the puppies vaccinations up to date (just in case they have to be boarded while we're gone), and shopping for gifts for the orphanage (and maybe, just maybe something for RP too!).

I can't believe we leave next Saturday - wow.

FINALLY!!!

That's right - FINALLY!!! At 4:00 this afternoon I heard from the travel group out of Moscow that I have dates to travel to meet RP! We leave for St. Petersburg on November 28 and should be headed back to the US on or around December 3. My head is in whirlwind right now and I honestly can't think straight. There is a TON to do in the next two and a half weeks - apply for visas, complete MORE paperwork, buy the gifts for the orphanage, etc. etc. etc.

Thank you all SO much for being so supportive - I know it's been your love and support that have made this all possible. I can't wait for RP to meet and get to know each of you as I know she will appreciate how truly special each of you are, just as much as I do!!!

The squeaky wheel...

It has often been said that "the squeaky wheel gets the oil." Now, you may be asking yourself if I have completely lost my mind, or WHAT that has to do with me, or with this adoption. I have decided that in order to get some answers, I need to be that squeaky wheel - the one who is demanding some attention and a resolution. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of being patient. I am tired of wondering. Yes, I'm just plain tired.

So I e-mailed the agency - again. Asked again if they had heard anything. And of course I received the "we haven't heard anything, but we'll let you know if we do - just hang in there!" response. Again. We have now met the 8-12 week threshold and still no end in sight. No plans to visit RP, let alone move the process along. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled beyond belief that in the last two weeks I have found a new picture of her AND received more information as to how she is doing. I have been assured that they are working on getting me travel dates and they haven't forgotten me. Yet, at this point, it's still not enough. I need to plan for going. I need to know that this all WILL happen and that she will come home... with me... soon.

Sorry for venting - and thanks to each of you who keep reading this and reassuring me that it will all work out and be over before we know it. My family and friends are my lifeline and my saviors right now and I appreciate them more and more each and every day (and can't wait to make RP a part of their lives too!)!!! :)

Nesting...

Yes, you read that right - nesting. I spent the entire day (okay, okay - ALMOST the entire day!) cleaning today. I was like a woman possessed - had to get some "spring cleaning" done, even though it's November. I have always heard of pregnant women nesting right before they had their babies, but I don't know if it is necessarily a phenomenon for pre-adoptive mothers, but I am going to guess that it can happen...

I still don't have travel dates yet and Monday will be the start of the 13th week of waiting. **sigh** I figured I would be traveling by now, and to be still waiting on dates is working my very last nerve. On the plus side I DID receive information this week from the referral team regarding RP. I had asked for development milestones at the request of the IA doctor when I first accepted the referral of her, but I never heard back. This week I received the following information regarding my little RP:

* She can stand unassisted
* She can play with toys
* She understands simple instructions
* She smiles
* She babbles, says simple words.
* The girl shows good progress, developmentally she is almost on track(very small delay due to her stay in the orphanage). They say she is smart, likes attention , open to contact, gets along well with children.

Not exactly the development milestone information I was looking for, but I was thrilled to hear this nonetheless. Hopefully travel dates will be coming soon - I am about to burst from the anticipation!!!

Still no news...

I e-mailed my coordinator on Monday and after several technical hiccups getting that e-mail to go through, I still have no news on travel dates. I try to convince myself that the long part of waiting is over and that I can/should expect travel dates any day now but it is getting harder and harder to believe in that. "I want what I want when I want it" is coming out - in full force - right about now and traveling is pretty much ALL I think about anymore (which doesn't bode well for day-to-day stuff, like work!).

Hopefully I'll hear back from my coordinator soon, and hopefully it will be good news (as in travel dates!). The one positive is finding RP's updated photo on the database for waiting children - at least I have a new picture to pine over while I'm waiting, and I now have two pictures of her (one a baby picture when she was an infant and another, more recent, photo) along with her referral pictures for her baby book which yes, I have already started (thanks Jen!).

Thank you to each and every one of you for putting up with me and showing me tons of love and support during this process - you will never know just how much it means to me! :)

Week Twelve...

So we are two days into week twelve at this point and I keep thinking to myself that it can't be much longer, right? We have to hear something soon. Soon enough we will be jetting off to a land far, far away and it will be magical. Right?

Yes, this reminds me of a fairy tale, of a princess in a distant land struggling for someone to rescue her, to go home, and most importantly live happily ever after. I LOVED those stories when I was growing up and am still searching for that happily ever after, but not for myself. For RP. This entire process is about her - about bringing her home to a family that longs to hold her, love her, and give her all of the best in lift that they possibly can.

However, all fairy tales have villains, and for the life of me in this story I can't find one. It certainly isn't her birth mother who made the choice to place her for adoption in the hopes of giving her a loving family and all that she could not. It isn't the people working in the orphanage, doing the best they can to meet the needs of the children residing there. Nor are the agency people the villains in this story - they are working hard to unite these children to their forever families from tens of thousands of miles away. I have to believe it also isn't me (although those of you who know me know that I do have my moments!) or my family who truly want the best for our dark-eyed, beautiful little RP. So, can you have a fairy tale without the villain?

All in all we keep waiting here - waiting for our happily ever after...

The eleventh hour... er, week...

Yes, you read that correctly - this is now week eleven of the wait for the first trip. It feels like forever has gone by and I still have not heard anything about when I will possibly be traveling. My agency has put me in contact with another single mom in the area (area being Illinois - I have no idea where in Illinois she actually lives!) who adopted from St. Petersburg through EAC and she waited FOUR MONTHS for her first trip. The way I understand her timeline, it looked as such:

Last week of February, 2009: Accepted referral
Week of July 4, 2009: Traveled for trip 1 (18 weeks - yikes!)
First week of September, 2009: Traveled for trip 2 (which is court)
Third week of September, 2009: Traveled for trip 3 and brought her little girl home!

Using that as a baseline, my timeline would look as such:
August 17, 2009: Accepted referral!
Week of December 22, 2009: Travel for trip 1 (yes, the week of Christmas)
Week of February 22, 2010: Travel for trip 2/court
Week of March 8, 2010: Travel for trip 3 - come home with RP

Now, I certainly hope that this entire timeline is shorter, and I'm hoping that this would be a "worst case scenario" timeline. I started this process by signing with my agency last February, so bringing her home in February/March would only be 12-13 months for the entire process, which is remarkable considering I am adopting a little girl and the process for girls is estimated around 18 months. My original goal was to be home with my child by Christmas, but that clearly is not going to happen. Now the goal is ultimately to be home by Easter, or her second birthday at the very latest - I cannot imagine celebrating any more holidays or birthdays without my little RP.

I'll keep you posted - please continue to keep RP in your prayers as we wait for time lines and dates to bring her home... :) Until then, the clock keeps ticking, and each minute that goes by is a minute closer to meeting her and bringing her home to her family, where she belongs....

And now, for the response

So, I received a very prompt reply to my e-mail to the Referral Department, which read as follows:

Hi Teri!
I haven't herd anything. I will check with the coordinator and let you know if I hear anything back. I know it is very slow in St. Pete for a first trip. Hang in there and we will talk to you soon!
Take care,
xxxxx

Not what I was hoping for, but hopefully she checks with the coordinator in St. Pete and comes back with good news. I'm trying NOT to focus on the blatant misspelling of "heard" (alright, so it isn't misspelled per se, she just used the wrong spelling of the word for the context in which it was used...)

I'll keep you posted!

I caved...

... and e-mailed the Referral department to see if they either had travel dates for me, or knew about when I could expect them. It has been over nine and a half weeks and this wait is literally causing me to go a bit nutty (okay, okay - a bit nuttier than usual!)! I don't expect to hear anything other than, "we're still waiting and will let you know when we hear something" but at least I feel like I did something to move the process along. Y'all know me and the fact that I am NOT a patient person, so it is pretty remarkable that I've let it coast along for this long without checking.

Keep your fingers crossed for news - and hopefully good news at that!

Nine weeks... and counting

So here we are, working on week ten of the dreaded wait! Nine weeks have come and gone with still no travel dates in sight. I talked to my coordinator last night and she told me, again, that this is typical for St. Petersburg but if I don't hear anything in the next week or two she'll start to stalk the people in the referral department for me to see if we can get a better idea of when I'll travel. Twelve weeks is officially up on November 9 and it would be super-nifty-great to travel before Thanksgiving although I have this gnawing gut feeling that I'll be spending Thanksgiving in Russia with my mom.

On the home front, I heard from the FoF today about the possible domestic adoption situation which I blogged about a long time ago, and there was a truly sad end to that. The girl who was pregnant had her baby a few weeks ago, three full months early, and the baby only survived for two days. I broke down when I read that because the mother was a victim of domestic violence which is why the baby arrived so early. These types of stories make me so MAD because there are a ton of great families out there who would do anything to provide these babies with a loving, nurturing family environment and she didn't deserve to have this happen. I am so thankful that RP's birth mother cared enough about her to place her with the orphanage to try to find a loving home, and this makes me more anxious than ever to bring her home and shower her with the love and affection that she so desperately needs and deserves.

Sorry for such a downer post today - hopefully there will be good news to write about sometime soon. Until then, please keep RP in your prayers and hopefully, before we know it, she'll be home and getting to know each and every one of you!

Working on week nine

Yes, that's right - EIGHT WEEKS have now gone by and still I have no travel dates for trip one. Being sick has made this a good thing, but now that two whole months have gone by and we are two days into week nine's wait, I'm ready for some good news and more importantly, some travel dates. RP is growing older by the day and I am sad to think of everything I am missing of hers - first steps, first words, cutting teeth, learning new things. Most of all, she needs her family - to know that she is wanted and loved, and to feel secure in her future. I am quite certain that she is receiving good care in the orphanage - as good of care as one can receive in an institutional setting anyway. I try to look at every day that goes by as one day closer to bringing her home instead of one day longer I've had to wait, but I'm ready. Now. In my heart of hearts, I'm pretty sure she is too...

Under the weather...

So it is probably a good thing that I am not yet traveling to meet little RP as I have been deathly ill since last Saturday. Two trips to the doctor later I am the proud owner of two antibiotics, cough syrup with codeine, and steroids and STILL I feel crappy. He diagnosed me with a sinus infection, respiratory infection, AND bronchitis (while not ruling out walking pneumonia - go figure!) which is odd because when I went in I really thought I had either the flu, food poisoning, or appendicitis (yep - that pesky side pain is back and the good news about having the surgery last December is that I know for sure it is NOT ovarian cysts!). I am pretty convinced that the doctor that treated me in the Quik Care graduated last in his class in medical school - nice enough, but a bit of a quack.

The bonus to this random, yet lingering, illness is that it occured now, stateside, and not while I am in a foreign country where I don't speak the language (and am not entirely confident that I am covered by Blue Cross/Blue Shield!). NOTHING is going to get in the way of my enjoying my visit to meet my baby girl and with all the drugs I am currently on I should have a clean bill of health when I get ready to go.

Thank god for unanswered prayers, right?

Seven weeks... and counting

Yes, that's right - seven weeks have gone by since I accepted the referral of my beautiful RP and still, no travel dates for Trip 1. At this point waiting is almost becoming second nature, and one would think that a procrastinator such as myself wouldn't mind it, but every day I look at those four precious photos of my beautiful little girl and grow more and more anxious for the day I can hold her, squeeze her, and finally . . . bring her home. It seems as if that day will never come.

My agency coordinator called this evening and at this point I don't even get my hopes up when I see the familiar (440) phone number pop up on my phone. She is awesome and now always sounds apologetic when she calls, saying, "I don't have any news for you - just want to check in and see how you're doing." We made small talk for a couple of minutes and she tells me to just hang on, that this region is slow but steady, and reassures me that my day WILL come. I trust her implicitly, which is odd considering I have never met her, but she has yet to steer me wrong, so I keep holding on to that hope. She let me know not to expect travel dates until probably late November, which just sounds SOOO far away. Hopefully those dates will come sooner than later, and in the interim, I'll just keep waiting!!!

The inside struggle

So we are now 6.5 weeks into the wait for Trip 1 and I'm going almost batty. It helps a bit that my agency asked one of their recent "grads" to contact me and answer questions and share her story with me (she is apparently a single mom kinda sorta local to here and she just returned from St. Petersburg after completing the adoption of a little girl). Although I don't know any more details that what I just shared, it's nice to know that there are others, just like me, out there being SUCCESSFUL in their adoption efforts. The infamous chat boards are also a source of small comfort right now as they have just confirmed that most people are in fact waiting 8-12 weeks for trip 1, and 2-10 weeks for trip 2.

That being said my inside struggle has to do with when to tell people about the adoption. Of course my family and close friends know, but I have a reunion coming up and I'm not sure what to share and what to keep close for right now. Additionally, I have not said anything to anyone at work, mostly because the people I work with are VERY gossipy and I don't want to be fodder for their office chats, and partly because I don't think I can handle question after question after question... you get the drift. Of course, then I start to think about how it is not really fair to expect them to just let me waltz to another country for a week or so on three separate occasions with no warning in advance, and I really do owe it to my team to start prepping them for me being gone and completely out of touch for a week at a time, and longer when I come back as I'd like to use FMLA to stay home with RP when her adoption is final. Oh, the decisions...

On a happy note I found the cutest little pink jumper when I was in Disney World last week which of course I just HAD to buy for RP (hopefully in the right size!). The caption below Princess Minnie Mouse reads "Princess in Training," - appropriate, don't you think?

Completed six weeks of waiting!

I know it's been a while since I posted, and for that I apologize. I was in Florida last week (alright, I was in Disney World last week!) for a training class and just didn't have time, or internet access, to update while I was there.

First off, six weeks of waiting are down and we are now working on week seven. While it's nice to be on the downward slope of a possible 12 week wait, this is getting harder by the day, let alone by the week. I'm really ready for that call that tells me to go ahead and pack my bags and am tired of wondering when it will come.

Being in Disney last week was hard because of, you guessed it, all the families that were there. It was pretty apparent that some of the families I saw were created through adoption, and that made me hopeful for what's to come, but it was also hard to be surrounded by so many happy families enjoying the wonder that is "Disney magic" when I know that my little girl is in an orphanage halfway around the world, waiting for me. I also found myself wishing for my family - parents, brother and sister-in-law, niece, and nephews to be there with me as well, as I know they would have LOVED it.

It had been 13 years since I had last been to Orlando and I can't wait to go back, and share all the wonder with my own little girl - someday (soon!)!!!

Getting antsy...

Now, I know I posted only a couple of days ago that I was trying to be patient and that I KNOW things will happen when they happen, and for a reason, but for some reason the waiting is absolutely killing me this week. I think it's by-and-large because I am gearing up to travel again next week and I SO wish it were to Russia. Yes, I know I'm headed to "the happiest place on Earth!" but I still wish it were Russia. We are now officially 4.5 weeks into this wait and I'm not sure how much longer my patience will hold out.

I want to hold my sweet RP as soon as possible, snuggle her, and let her know that I love her, and to finally bring her home to her family. NOT being in control and NOT being able to do that is pure and utter torture. At this point I'm not sure how other parents have survived this wait, let alone how some have done this multiple times.

So if you see me and I either lapse into tears or I bite your head off, PLEASE don't take it personally. I don't mean to and I certainly don't want to. I'm trying to contain the stress and channel it positively but please bear with me... as we all know patience is NOT one of my virtues!!! :)

Damned message boards!

So, I know better than to check the message boards on the state of international adoption, but I do so anyway. Religiously. It's like a compulsion now - I can't help myself. For the most part I've been able to look at the boards and say, "Wow - my timelines are WAY faster than some of the people on here." Which makes me feel fantastic about the agency I chose and sad for those who have been waiting much, much longer than me for a referral - any referral.

Then why did I get upset when looking at the boards today only to see that people are traveling anywhere from 2-5 weeks after they received their referral? For me, that would have been THIS WEEK! My coordinator told me to expect to wait the full 12-weeks and so far everything she said has been spot-on, or even earlier, but now that I have seen that beautiful face and those fantastic eyes the wait is harder than ever. I want to hug my baby girl, snuggle her and let her know that someone cares and that she is part of a family, a family that cannot wait for her to come home.

Even my seven-year old nephew is excited! He asked my mom a few weeks ago, "When is Aunt Teri going to bring her baby girl home?" While he doesn't understand the ins and outs yet, he understands family and will be a FANTASTIC cousin to my little one, which only makes me even more sad.

Time will hopefully fly-by and I'll be in St. Petersburg before long, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Please join me in praying that this will be the case! :)

Starting week five of the dreaded wait...

Today officially marks a full four weeks - one month if you will - of waiting to go over to St. Petersburg and meet my little girl. The wait is both flying by and dragging, and no, I haven't completely lost my mind (emphasis on the word "completely" in that sentence!). I can't believe it is already the middle of September and for the umpteenth time this year I am wondering where the year went! On the other hand, I keep looking at the pictures of this adorable little girl who is waiting for me, for my family, halfway around the world and I am moved to tears by longing and anger. I can't WAIT to go over and get her, leaping through any and all hurdles along the way and I am angry at the bureaucracy that is slowing this process down. My coordinator warned me that St. Petersburg is a great region for singles, but it moves slowly and methodically. Yep, she wasn't kidding.

Four weeks down, hopefully only a few more to go! Until then, I'll keep pining the days and nights away until I can feel her little hand in mine and look into those big brown eyes in person, and hopefully soon enough she will be forever mine. :)

Feeling oh-so gloomy today...

Ever have one of those days that you really wish you could crawl back into bed and hide from the rest of the world? Today is one of those days for me... and then some.

I stayed home sick yesterday and am not feeling a whole heckuva lot better today, but came in to work because a) I hate being out sick and b) we were having a big systems launch today. I should have KNOWN today was going to be a bad day when on my way to the train station random electrical transformers started to explode along side me as I was driving! Nope - not kidding - huge blue-white flashes of light on top of the poles next to the street I was driving on! Then I noticed the car starting to shake and rattle and the "brake" light came on just as I was getting off the highway. I got off the train in Chicago to see three police squad cars at the site of a bad taxi accident. And yes, this was all before I reached the office!

The story doesn't get much better. I came in to systems being down, not working, and a bunch of very cranky people. I then find out that the Product Manager who f'ed this whole launch up has posted my teams' contact information for problems with HIS PRODUCT, which as I have already overstated, DOESN'T WORK! Come to find out that these issues have now impacted my other team, who have NOTHING to do with this worthless piece of technology, and I have seen the Product Manager strutting back and forth from Jamba Juice in an effort to appease the developers, but has not offered so much as an apology to my team who is directly impacted by his, shall we say, idiocy??? Oh yeah - and we're only halfway through the day. I can hardly wait for this afternoon.

I really need to go back to bed.

Update - Will the madness ever end?

So the agency told me to send them color copies of the photo collage and to have the social worker letter faxed to them and these should act as placeholders until the actual documents arrive. Additionally, my social worker came through and is copying and notarizing the letters again and has assured me that they will arrive in Springfield tomorrow. AND the wonderful woman in the Secretary of State's office told me she will ask the mail room to be on the lookout for a package for her from my social worker to process the documents right away, and everyone seems to be hopeful that they will arrive in Ohio before the weekend.

Whew! Now if only I physically felt better, but this will do! I kept looking at RP's pictures today telling myself that this is all worth it because SHE is worth it.

Thanks for those fingers being crossed - so far, so good (but please keep them crossed for a bit longer - I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!).

Oh, and while I had the agency on the phone I asked about travel dates - no such luck, as no one seems to know when I'll be invited to go. For today, I'll take the small success of getting documents coordinated AND that Moscow has asked for them - it indicates progress, right?

Will the madness ever end?

So, I am home sick today (don't ask - you don't wanna know, and I don't want to get into the details!) and have been running around like a crazy woman all day. This is remarkable in that all my running around has been at home - never left the house with all the madness, but it certainly feels like it!

My agency called me this morning to tell me that I had to have my photo collage and verification letter (properly notarized and apostilled!) to them by Friday in order to be in Moscow by the weekend. Yep - MOSCOW requested these documents ASAP. Not a big deal, as I'm on top of it and the documents are in Springfield awaiting apostilling, and for all I know are already done! A quick phone call and I'll be back to being miserable in my illness, right?

Wrong! I called Springfield, who located the documents and told me that they would be done today or tomorrow, and sent out to Ohio for a Thursday arrival. Whew! Of course nothing in this process has gone according to plan, so I wasn't necessarily surprised when 10 minutes later I received an e-mail that said that two of the document (I sent 6 total) could not be apostilled because the notary's name was one way on his certificate, and another on his stamp. Guess which documents these were? You got it - the photo verification letter!

This has now caused 18 e-mails (and no I'm not exaggerating - thank you Gmail for keeping a tally on the number of e-mails in a thread!) and at least 7 phone calls to try to figure out what I can do. My biggest fear was that they were going to say "sorry, no referral - we're giving her to someone else and back of the line for you!" but I managed to e-mail them the photos and hopefully the SOS will send them a fax of what we have so far that they can use until the notarized documents get done. I would like to point out that I have not yet heard from my social worker, who needs to do this document over again, despite my quite frantic voice mail and THREE e-mails (2 of which were in response to the director's e-mail response to my initial request).

Wish me luck and please keep those fingers crossed - I'm still not out of the woods, but have at least stopped hyperventilating due to these issues!

Whoops - slacking on all the details!

As part of my relaxing this weekend I decided to comb back through my blog to re-read what has happened so far, as I'm truly hoping to use this as a journal of my adoption journey. First off, I discovered a few typos which of course horrify me, and I haven't yet figured out how to fix them! **Gasp!**

Secondly, I realized I had not provided an update on the possible domestic opportunity in a while. I was a little leery of my FOF finding out that I had accepted a referral because all along I have truly wanted to keep all of my options open and have whatever will be, be. (Anyone else hearing Ka Sara, Sara in their head right about now?). Anyway, this week I received an e-mail from FOF congratulating me because she had heard that I had accepted a referral from Russia. She then proceeded to tell me that the girl who is pregnant here is back in the hospital and might lose the baby because her boyfriend keeps coming over and beating her up. Nice guy! (and yes, this is the same guy who broke up with her because he got his OTHER girlfriend pregnant and he decided he wanted to be with her). This whole story just about breaks my heart - for several reasons. I e-mailed the FOF back with condolences, and more questions but can't stop thinking about this poor girl and her poor baby who didn't ask for ANY of this to happen, and the whole darned mess just makes me mad.

I wish someone could explain to me why people who don't want kids, or don't want to take care of them anyway, don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant while others (myself included) have tried everything possible and it just can't/won't happen for them. My heart breaks for this girl, her family, and her baby because she really was trying to make the right decision for everyone and now has to deal with this - and NO ONE should have to go through that.

Please keep this girl and her baby in your thoughts and prayers - they truly need it right now.

Shopping for RP!

So, my mom and I went to the Frankfort Fall Festival today and I have to say it was quite disappointing. I was hoping to find some really cute one-piece jumpers to bring RP home in and alas, could not. Several years ago I got a really cute one for my niece (including a hat!) and I guess I should have known better than to go into the craft fair specifically LOOKING for something, as my luck is typically that I can find hundreds of things when I don't have anything particular in mind, but once I have a vision I find it next to impossible to complete it. I did find the most adorable "Adoption" picture frame in pink and brown and I can't wait to fill it with a picture from my first trip to Russia!

After the craft fair we went to JCPenney where I found the most adorable blue corduroy ballet-themed jumper and matching onesie set, a summer romper, and a pink "Princess" teddy bear - all on sale! My mom found a couple of adorable pairs of shorts for next summer as well, so RP is already getting quite the wardrobe! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am guessing correctly on all the sizes and that everything will fit in the season for which it is intended, and I am getting more and more anxious to travel to meet my little princess! We are completing the third week of the wait and each day that goes by gets easier, and more difficult, to deal with. I can't explain HOW that can be - I can only explain that it IS. Weird, eh?

Now I am home relaxing, and wondering HOW on earth it got to be Labor Day weekend already, when it seems that time has just dragged this year in moving through the adoption. Hopefully this bodes well for a speedy trip one, followed by trips two and three! As much as I would have loved to have RP home before Christmas, my best guess, if the timeline falls as the agency said it could, would be February. I hope this means I'll have a new Valentine in 2010!!! :)

Yes, another redesign!

To say I get bored easily would be an understatement, as you can probably tell by all my ramblings. Anyway, as much as I liked the last look of the blog, it still wasn't what I envisioned, so I perused a number of different blogs in Blogger to get an idea of what I could do to spruce mine up and voila! I found it! Welcome to the new and improved "Somedays and Mondays" (well, new and improved in my mind anyway!).

Hope you like it!

And yes, I am still NOT-patiently awaiting my travel dates for St. Petersburg. On the plus side, though, I did officially book my Disney Institute class and the travel agent is making my flight arrangements as I type! Look out Mickey, here I come! :)

Hitting week three...

I am now officially in my third week of the dreaded "wait." I'm pretty sure the stress and anticipation is either going to kill me, or make me gain another 50 pounds, which sucks since I haven't lost the 50 I gained on all the fertility drugs and steroids. I try avoid "bad" foods, but chocolate and sugar are definitely comfort foods, and if I ever needed "comfort" it would be now. I try to work out - either at the gym or home - but I'm afraid of being gone and missing "the call." Instead I play with the puppies (very cathartic I must say!), stare at RP's picture, and drive myself even more insane by shopping for baby stuff online.

I finally bit the bullet and signed up for my Disney Institute class and am hoping that a trip to the Magic Kingdom will be just what the doctor ordered. I am as excited about going as a little kid, even though this trip will be more work than play. Who WOULDN'T want to work in Mickey's backyard?!?! :)

What I haven't done is RSVP for my class reunion, which is in October and DEFINITELY in the time frame in which I can reasonably hope to travel. Facebook has reacquainted me with a lot of old friends and I would LOVE to see them, but as I alluded to earlier, I am WAY too fat to be attending a reunion, MY reunion, right now. (Never mind the fact that I am in COMPLETE denial of the fact that I am even old enough to be celebrating a 20-year high school reunion!)

Oh, the joys!!! Please keep your fingers crossed for a quick trip to Russia (and if you see me please encourage the whole workout and low-fat, low-cal snack foods - I need all the help I can get!)!!! :)

The countdown continues...

So I made it back from Cali safe and sound am now anxiously awaiting news of when I can travel to St. Petersburg. It was two weeks ago today that I officially accepted my referral and it feels like a lifetime. I check e-mail about 1,000 times a day and check for voice mail about the same number of times, hoping and praying that there is news and dates for travel sometime in the near future. I am supposed to be attending a class at the Disney Institute in three weeks and am SO leery of booking everything in case I get "the call."

In the interim I am keeping myself semi-sane by trying to get everything bought and organized. I have a few onesies and pajamas and even a few outfits on top of the bedding, booster seat, and other stuff. My friends and family have also been helping in the sanity department by looking at her picture a million-bajillion times and listening to me go on and on and on... My mom and I are even going to the Frankfort Fall Festival this weekend to see if we can get some cute crafty stuff for little RP - but if anyone has any other suggestions as to how to keep my sanity (and make the waiting time fly!) I'm all ears!

Greetings from sunny California...

I'm writing from my business trip to sunny California, and boy do I mean sunny! :) Yesterday it was around 92 degrees outside and apparently this is "cool" for this time of year out here. I love the heat and the sun so this is truly not bothering me, but apparently I got into something that was shellfish-based since I've been out here and am now dealing with a raging case of hives. Uh yeah, NOT so pretty or fun to deal with when you are supposed to be schmoozing people, and car dealers and sales reps at that. Thank GOD for bangs as the worst of it is all over my forehead which is puzzling and disturbing to say the least. As much as I am enjoying this trip (yep - I said it, I'm kinda having fun and this is for WORK!) I really wish I were traveling for other purposes.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my little girl in Russia and pray for an early trip one so I can go and meet her, hug her, and start lovin' on her - as she deserves. Selfishly I also want to rush over there and start the process so something can't happen and someone else decides to adopt her. I'll admit that I have already started putting the nursery together and am just waiting on the crib to truly call it almost complete. I will also admit that I've had fun picking out a few outfits to have in the closet for her and am crossing my fingers that I have guesstimated correctly on what size she will be when she comes home. Probably not the wisest thing to do, but something I am compelled to do as it really makes me feel as if I'm doing something to move this process along.

Gotta dash off to breakfast and then a whirlwind day of visiting dealerships and meeting with executives at the Fresno Bee to review the progress on my pet project right now. Wish me luck! :)

Just plugging along...

So, now that I have recovered (well, okay - semi-recovered!) from my meltdown the other day I am back in full paperwork mode. My parents were kind enough to sign the support letter and rush it over for notarizing yesterday morning, so I have four new documents (their two letters plus two Power of Attorney documents of my own!) that are now on their way to Springfield for apostilling. For anyone who doesn't know, apostilling is basically a process that the Secretary of State's office does to certify that your notary is really a notary. They look up the notary's information and attach a really official-looking document with a big, bright, shiny seal on it to every page that is notarized. In the state of Illinois this service costs $2 per document, but as I found out the hard way, the state of Wisconsin charges $10 per document, and $35 per document if you need a 1-5 business day turnaround, which of course I do for the guardianship letters my brother and sister-in-law had to sign and have notarized. They have also been fantastic about getting right on getting the letters signed and notarized for me and as of yesterday those letters were on their way to the Secretary of State in Wisconsin for apostilling. While this is all a delightful pain in the a$$, I am thankful that I do not live in a state that requires certification of documents BEFORE the apostille is done! Now I just have to pray that my home study agency, who has already lost documents on me in the past, gets to this ASAP and meets next week's deadline for the documents. I've been in touch with my social worker and hopefully she is on top of it this time; otherwise, the director, who has already had to call me once to apologize for problems, will feel my total wrath!

I'm already anxious to start packing and booking my trip to Russia, although I am in no hurry to spend umpteen hours on an airplane and head off somewhere cold!!! This will truly be an adventure, but one well-worth the effort. The agency told me to expect to travel in 8-12 weeks, and then, if I choose to pursue the adoption, plan on waiting another 8-12 weeks before I can be scheduled to go to court over there and make everything legal. While this does not sound like a long time, putting it into context means that this will not be done, and my little princess will not be coming home with me, for approximately 6 months. Yes - SIX months from now. That makes me sad, and while I'm trying to tell myself that the time will go by very quickly as there is much to be done between now and then, I still can't bear the thought of my little girl spending another night in the orphanage instead of having her home with me...

Wow!

So, as I posted the other day I received a referral on the most beautiful little girl imaginable. The past week has been quite the whirlwind of emotions - amazement, utter excitement and joy, crazy disbelief, and even some anxiety. Am I doing the right thing? Is something going to go wrong? What the HECK am I doing??? And on and on and on.

The doctor reviewed the little Russian Princess's (RP from here on out!) medical information and while there wasn't a lot to see, was cautiously optimistic about it, so I took the plunge and accepted the referral. Woo-hoo!!! This is the day I have been waiting for - what I've wanted for this entire year right? Right? BEST day ever!

Um, yeah - then please explain to me why I had an utter and complete meltdown today. Luckily I was working from home today so my meltdown was in private and not for the world to see, but when I said the word "yes" and then proceeded to review the list of 7,826 documents that are now required I lost... my... mind. While I know everything is being done for a reason and all assurances need to be made to ensure that the children are going to good homes, redoing massive amounts of paperwork, many which literally were only completed weeks ago, makes no sense to me. For the first time in a really long time I lost it. Out and out tears and even hiccups afterwards - full-fledged panic attack.

I am, however, happy to report that I have survived, picked myself up off the bed (thank god for the furbabies who literally were there to snuggle and lick the tears away), completed about 40 pieces of paper, and am renewed again for the challenge.

At least for today...

Cloud Nine...

So you can imagine that I have pretty much been walking on cloud nine since receiving my referral yesterday afternoon. Which, I have to say, is a pretty cool place to be. Problem with Cloud Nine is that for some reason being on Cloud Nine interferes with the ability to sleep, eat (not a biggie for me - I could stand to lose a few pounds), or focus on anything at all - even work. I'm on pins and needles waiting to hear back from the doctor who is evaluating my medical information and just waiting for the green light to call the agency and scream "yes, yes - when can I go????" This, of course, would NOT be a good idea since I am at work and no one at work knows about the adoption. I have looked at her picture a million times already and just can't get those big brown eyes out of my mind - it's like finding a puzzle piece that you thought was lost, but now perfectly completes the masterpiece. I'm also trying NOT to be terrified that something will go terribly wrong and a Russian family will swoop in and decide to make her a member of their family instead.

Yes, I've lost my mind - hopefully I'll find it somewhere on Cloud Nine, sometime soon!!!

It's a GIRLl!!!

I stayed home sick today with a migraine and lo and behold I received a call from my agency letting me know they had a referral for me! I was in utter disbelief and kept telling the coordinator that she must have the wrong person - my file just went to Russia last Friday and today is only Tuesday! She must be used to this because she laughed and told me that no, she had the right person and yes, she DID have a referral for me!

All along I have been prepped to accept a referral of a little boy, so imagine my surprise to find out it's a girl!!! I'm trying not to get TOO excited because a bajillion and one things can still go wrong, but she is honestly just beautiful! I sent her medical information over to University of MN to be evaluated but my heart is already gone. She is a tiny little thing (16 months old) with dark brown hair and huge brown eyes, and I already can't wait to meet her!

Thank you to all of you who have kept me and my family in your prayers - they truly do come true! Please keep us in your prayers until we have my little Russian princess home - I'm still holding my breath to make sure it is all going to work out!

Already getting impatient!

So, as I posted earlier my file went to Russia on Friday. I know it wasn't received by anyone who could do anything at this point - after all, it was going with another family who was travelling over there and no one is certainly going to get a look at it before Monday. Having said that, I am already impatient for news. News about anything. News about when to expect news. Something. Anything. Please???

I also have not heard anything regarding the domestic adoption opportunity either. I'm still working really hard at not getting my hopes up on that opportunity and it's getting harder by the day.

I spent the last couple of days shopping and of course shopping always leads to wandering over and looking at the baby stuff. Mind you, I already have a LOT of the essentials here - including the nursery set (pictured above). I can't wait to actually get the room together and really make all of this planning a reality! Hopefully I'll hear something soon, but until then keep those fingers crossed!!!

Finally - an update!

Woo-hoo - finally news to report! I received a call tonight from my coordinator that they have FINALLY received all of my paperwork and my file is going to Russia on Friday!!! There's still a ton of waiting ahead (like I posted earlier they are reporting an average of a 4 month wait for referrals, and possibly longer for singles... lucky me!) but finally, at long last, there is progress.

What next you ask? Yep - you guessed it - more waiting.... :)

Timing is everything...

So, as you know I periodically check my agency's website to see what the latest and greatest news is that they are publicizing. It's not that I don't trust what they are telling me, it's just that often they are vague in giving time lines due to the fact that they don't want to set unrealistic expectations, which I get and I appreciate. So, here is the latest and greatest from their site:

"Great News! *****'s Russia program is amazing! Many of our families are receiving referrals of boys within 4 months of the complete dossier reaching Russia (singles and other exceptions often take longer). "

Insofar as this is great news, I'm not sure. Four months after taking 6 to complete home study and dossier paperwork is good, but not great (although faster than most I will say - some agencies are saying 9-12). The part that gets me is what I bolded - singles are an exception? Huh? Funny - this NEVER came up in my discussions with my coordinator. Hmmm.... interesting way to put things I guess. My dossier is being prepped and shipped to Russia this month (I'm not exactly sure of the timing but I had to lay down a bunch of money for dossier prep/translation) now that they have received all my documents. Heck - it might actually already BE over there.

Since I'm still waiting to hear back from FOF on the domestic adoption possibility this news doesn't upset me nearly as much as it would have just a month ago. If it does, in fact, take 4 or more months (I have a feeling they are being a bit cautious here as well) then it puts me right in the window to make one decision over another, if the domestic placement does in fact pan out. If.... If.... If....

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Tired today...

So, I have to say that I'm tired today. Well, maybe "sick and tired" is more accurate. I honestly don't understand how some people get along in the world today being incompetent, or cruel, or just out-and-out selfish and self-centered. I honestly just don't get it.

Maybe it's me. I'm grouchy today and I know it. I try, really try, NOT to let my stress and anxiety about the adoption "drama" get to me at work, but lately it's getting harder and harder to keep those two worlds separate. No one at work knows about this, and I'm going to keep it quiet as long as I can - the constant questions about progress would drive me insane and I'm pretty sure I'd have to physically hurt anyone that made a derogatory comment to me about it. It's none of their business and I don't want them to know - at least not now. That being said, there are days when I can get lost in my work and forget, even for a while, about the waiting and worrying and preparation. Today is not one of those days. I find myself constantly thinking about what is going to happen - when am I going to know something? Will this ever be clear cut? What if I make a wrong choice or ruin something that could have been good? Someday will my child resent me for all this? Ugh - the list goes on and on and on.

Quite frankly I don't care to hear all the nonstop gossip going on in the office these days. I don't want to huddle in a corner and talk about that other person. I REALLY don't want to feed into someones ego, just because they think I can. I.... don't.... care.... Plain and simple. I don't care if you like that other person. I don't care if their feelings are going to be hurt because I do this activity with my team and they can't. I don't care that you want to trample over me in your rush to the top. I.... just.... don't.... care. In the grand scheme of things does it all really matter?

Sorry for being so negative today - I just had to vent and get it all out before I exploded. Things will right themselves, I'll get over my crabbiness, and maybe I'll even care that another manager is a big idiot. Just not today. Today I want to think about and plan things outside of team potluck luncheons and team trainings. I'm one of the selfish people today - only thinking about myself - and I don't care. :)