So we are now 6.5 weeks into the wait for Trip 1 and I'm going almost batty. It helps a bit that my agency asked one of their recent "grads" to contact me and answer questions and share her story with me (she is apparently a single mom kinda sorta local to here and she just returned from St. Petersburg after completing the adoption of a little girl). Although I don't know any more details that what I just shared, it's nice to know that there are others, just like me, out there being SUCCESSFUL in their adoption efforts. The infamous chat boards are also a source of small comfort right now as they have just confirmed that most people are in fact waiting 8-12 weeks for trip 1, and 2-10 weeks for trip 2.
That being said my inside struggle has to do with when to tell people about the adoption. Of course my family and close friends know, but I have a reunion coming up and I'm not sure what to share and what to keep close for right now. Additionally, I have not said anything to anyone at work, mostly because the people I work with are VERY gossipy and I don't want to be fodder for their office chats, and partly because I don't think I can handle question after question after question... you get the drift. Of course, then I start to think about how it is not really fair to expect them to just let me waltz to another country for a week or so on three separate occasions with no warning in advance, and I really do owe it to my team to start prepping them for me being gone and completely out of touch for a week at a time, and longer when I come back as I'd like to use FMLA to stay home with RP when her adoption is final. Oh, the decisions...
On a happy note I found the cutest little pink jumper when I was in Disney World last week which of course I just HAD to buy for RP (hopefully in the right size!). The caption below Princess Minnie Mouse reads "Princess in Training," - appropriate, don't you think?
Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Completed six weeks of waiting!
I know it's been a while since I posted, and for that I apologize. I was in Florida last week (alright, I was in Disney World last week!) for a training class and just didn't have time, or internet access, to update while I was there.
First off, six weeks of waiting are down and we are now working on week seven. While it's nice to be on the downward slope of a possible 12 week wait, this is getting harder by the day, let alone by the week. I'm really ready for that call that tells me to go ahead and pack my bags and am tired of wondering when it will come.
Being in Disney last week was hard because of, you guessed it, all the families that were there. It was pretty apparent that some of the families I saw were created through adoption, and that made me hopeful for what's to come, but it was also hard to be surrounded by so many happy families enjoying the wonder that is "Disney magic" when I know that my little girl is in an orphanage halfway around the world, waiting for me. I also found myself wishing for my family - parents, brother and sister-in-law, niece, and nephews to be there with me as well, as I know they would have LOVED it.
It had been 13 years since I had last been to Orlando and I can't wait to go back, and share all the wonder with my own little girl - someday (soon!)!!!
First off, six weeks of waiting are down and we are now working on week seven. While it's nice to be on the downward slope of a possible 12 week wait, this is getting harder by the day, let alone by the week. I'm really ready for that call that tells me to go ahead and pack my bags and am tired of wondering when it will come.
Being in Disney last week was hard because of, you guessed it, all the families that were there. It was pretty apparent that some of the families I saw were created through adoption, and that made me hopeful for what's to come, but it was also hard to be surrounded by so many happy families enjoying the wonder that is "Disney magic" when I know that my little girl is in an orphanage halfway around the world, waiting for me. I also found myself wishing for my family - parents, brother and sister-in-law, niece, and nephews to be there with me as well, as I know they would have LOVED it.
It had been 13 years since I had last been to Orlando and I can't wait to go back, and share all the wonder with my own little girl - someday (soon!)!!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Getting antsy...
Now, I know I posted only a couple of days ago that I was trying to be patient and that I KNOW things will happen when they happen, and for a reason, but for some reason the waiting is absolutely killing me this week. I think it's by-and-large because I am gearing up to travel again next week and I SO wish it were to Russia. Yes, I know I'm headed to "the happiest place on Earth!" but I still wish it were Russia. We are now officially 4.5 weeks into this wait and I'm not sure how much longer my patience will hold out.
I want to hold my sweet RP as soon as possible, snuggle her, and let her know that I love her, and to finally bring her home to her family. NOT being in control and NOT being able to do that is pure and utter torture. At this point I'm not sure how other parents have survived this wait, let alone how some have done this multiple times.
So if you see me and I either lapse into tears or I bite your head off, PLEASE don't take it personally. I don't mean to and I certainly don't want to. I'm trying to contain the stress and channel it positively but please bear with me... as we all know patience is NOT one of my virtues!!! :)
I want to hold my sweet RP as soon as possible, snuggle her, and let her know that I love her, and to finally bring her home to her family. NOT being in control and NOT being able to do that is pure and utter torture. At this point I'm not sure how other parents have survived this wait, let alone how some have done this multiple times.
So if you see me and I either lapse into tears or I bite your head off, PLEASE don't take it personally. I don't mean to and I certainly don't want to. I'm trying to contain the stress and channel it positively but please bear with me... as we all know patience is NOT one of my virtues!!! :)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Damned message boards!
So, I know better than to check the message boards on the state of international adoption, but I do so anyway. Religiously. It's like a compulsion now - I can't help myself. For the most part I've been able to look at the boards and say, "Wow - my timelines are WAY faster than some of the people on here." Which makes me feel fantastic about the agency I chose and sad for those who have been waiting much, much longer than me for a referral - any referral.
Then why did I get upset when looking at the boards today only to see that people are traveling anywhere from 2-5 weeks after they received their referral? For me, that would have been THIS WEEK! My coordinator told me to expect to wait the full 12-weeks and so far everything she said has been spot-on, or even earlier, but now that I have seen that beautiful face and those fantastic eyes the wait is harder than ever. I want to hug my baby girl, snuggle her and let her know that someone cares and that she is part of a family, a family that cannot wait for her to come home.
Even my seven-year old nephew is excited! He asked my mom a few weeks ago, "When is Aunt Teri going to bring her baby girl home?" While he doesn't understand the ins and outs yet, he understands family and will be a FANTASTIC cousin to my little one, which only makes me even more sad.
Time will hopefully fly-by and I'll be in St. Petersburg before long, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Please join me in praying that this will be the case! :)
Then why did I get upset when looking at the boards today only to see that people are traveling anywhere from 2-5 weeks after they received their referral? For me, that would have been THIS WEEK! My coordinator told me to expect to wait the full 12-weeks and so far everything she said has been spot-on, or even earlier, but now that I have seen that beautiful face and those fantastic eyes the wait is harder than ever. I want to hug my baby girl, snuggle her and let her know that someone cares and that she is part of a family, a family that cannot wait for her to come home.
Even my seven-year old nephew is excited! He asked my mom a few weeks ago, "When is Aunt Teri going to bring her baby girl home?" While he doesn't understand the ins and outs yet, he understands family and will be a FANTASTIC cousin to my little one, which only makes me even more sad.
Time will hopefully fly-by and I'll be in St. Petersburg before long, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Please join me in praying that this will be the case! :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Starting week five of the dreaded wait...
Today officially marks a full four weeks - one month if you will - of waiting to go over to St. Petersburg and meet my little girl. The wait is both flying by and dragging, and no, I haven't completely lost my mind (emphasis on the word "completely" in that sentence!). I can't believe it is already the middle of September and for the umpteenth time this year I am wondering where the year went! On the other hand, I keep looking at the pictures of this adorable little girl who is waiting for me, for my family, halfway around the world and I am moved to tears by longing and anger. I can't WAIT to go over and get her, leaping through any and all hurdles along the way and I am angry at the bureaucracy that is slowing this process down. My coordinator warned me that St. Petersburg is a great region for singles, but it moves slowly and methodically. Yep, she wasn't kidding.
Four weeks down, hopefully only a few more to go! Until then, I'll keep pining the days and nights away until I can feel her little hand in mine and look into those big brown eyes in person, and hopefully soon enough she will be forever mine. :)
Four weeks down, hopefully only a few more to go! Until then, I'll keep pining the days and nights away until I can feel her little hand in mine and look into those big brown eyes in person, and hopefully soon enough she will be forever mine. :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Feeling oh-so gloomy today...
Ever have one of those days that you really wish you could crawl back into bed and hide from the rest of the world? Today is one of those days for me... and then some.
I stayed home sick yesterday and am not feeling a whole heckuva lot better today, but came in to work because a) I hate being out sick and b) we were having a big systems launch today. I should have KNOWN today was going to be a bad day when on my way to the train station random electrical transformers started to explode along side me as I was driving! Nope - not kidding - huge blue-white flashes of light on top of the poles next to the street I was driving on! Then I noticed the car starting to shake and rattle and the "brake" light came on just as I was getting off the highway. I got off the train in Chicago to see three police squad cars at the site of a bad taxi accident. And yes, this was all before I reached the office!
The story doesn't get much better. I came in to systems being down, not working, and a bunch of very cranky people. I then find out that the Product Manager who f'ed this whole launch up has posted my teams' contact information for problems with HIS PRODUCT, which as I have already overstated, DOESN'T WORK! Come to find out that these issues have now impacted my other team, who have NOTHING to do with this worthless piece of technology, and I have seen the Product Manager strutting back and forth from Jamba Juice in an effort to appease the developers, but has not offered so much as an apology to my team who is directly impacted by his, shall we say, idiocy??? Oh yeah - and we're only halfway through the day. I can hardly wait for this afternoon.
I really need to go back to bed.
I stayed home sick yesterday and am not feeling a whole heckuva lot better today, but came in to work because a) I hate being out sick and b) we were having a big systems launch today. I should have KNOWN today was going to be a bad day when on my way to the train station random electrical transformers started to explode along side me as I was driving! Nope - not kidding - huge blue-white flashes of light on top of the poles next to the street I was driving on! Then I noticed the car starting to shake and rattle and the "brake" light came on just as I was getting off the highway. I got off the train in Chicago to see three police squad cars at the site of a bad taxi accident. And yes, this was all before I reached the office!
The story doesn't get much better. I came in to systems being down, not working, and a bunch of very cranky people. I then find out that the Product Manager who f'ed this whole launch up has posted my teams' contact information for problems with HIS PRODUCT, which as I have already overstated, DOESN'T WORK! Come to find out that these issues have now impacted my other team, who have NOTHING to do with this worthless piece of technology, and I have seen the Product Manager strutting back and forth from Jamba Juice in an effort to appease the developers, but has not offered so much as an apology to my team who is directly impacted by his, shall we say, idiocy??? Oh yeah - and we're only halfway through the day. I can hardly wait for this afternoon.
I really need to go back to bed.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Update - Will the madness ever end?
So the agency told me to send them color copies of the photo collage and to have the social worker letter faxed to them and these should act as placeholders until the actual documents arrive. Additionally, my social worker came through and is copying and notarizing the letters again and has assured me that they will arrive in Springfield tomorrow. AND the wonderful woman in the Secretary of State's office told me she will ask the mail room to be on the lookout for a package for her from my social worker to process the documents right away, and everyone seems to be hopeful that they will arrive in Ohio before the weekend.
Whew! Now if only I physically felt better, but this will do! I kept looking at RP's pictures today telling myself that this is all worth it because SHE is worth it.
Thanks for those fingers being crossed - so far, so good (but please keep them crossed for a bit longer - I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!).
Oh, and while I had the agency on the phone I asked about travel dates - no such luck, as no one seems to know when I'll be invited to go. For today, I'll take the small success of getting documents coordinated AND that Moscow has asked for them - it indicates progress, right?
Whew! Now if only I physically felt better, but this will do! I kept looking at RP's pictures today telling myself that this is all worth it because SHE is worth it.
Thanks for those fingers being crossed - so far, so good (but please keep them crossed for a bit longer - I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!).
Oh, and while I had the agency on the phone I asked about travel dates - no such luck, as no one seems to know when I'll be invited to go. For today, I'll take the small success of getting documents coordinated AND that Moscow has asked for them - it indicates progress, right?
Will the madness ever end?
So, I am home sick today (don't ask - you don't wanna know, and I don't want to get into the details!) and have been running around like a crazy woman all day. This is remarkable in that all my running around has been at home - never left the house with all the madness, but it certainly feels like it!
My agency called me this morning to tell me that I had to have my photo collage and verification letter (properly notarized and apostilled!) to them by Friday in order to be in Moscow by the weekend. Yep - MOSCOW requested these documents ASAP. Not a big deal, as I'm on top of it and the documents are in Springfield awaiting apostilling, and for all I know are already done! A quick phone call and I'll be back to being miserable in my illness, right?
Wrong! I called Springfield, who located the documents and told me that they would be done today or tomorrow, and sent out to Ohio for a Thursday arrival. Whew! Of course nothing in this process has gone according to plan, so I wasn't necessarily surprised when 10 minutes later I received an e-mail that said that two of the document (I sent 6 total) could not be apostilled because the notary's name was one way on his certificate, and another on his stamp. Guess which documents these were? You got it - the photo verification letter!
This has now caused 18 e-mails (and no I'm not exaggerating - thank you Gmail for keeping a tally on the number of e-mails in a thread!) and at least 7 phone calls to try to figure out what I can do. My biggest fear was that they were going to say "sorry, no referral - we're giving her to someone else and back of the line for you!" but I managed to e-mail them the photos and hopefully the SOS will send them a fax of what we have so far that they can use until the notarized documents get done. I would like to point out that I have not yet heard from my social worker, who needs to do this document over again, despite my quite frantic voice mail and THREE e-mails (2 of which were in response to the director's e-mail response to my initial request).
Wish me luck and please keep those fingers crossed - I'm still not out of the woods, but have at least stopped hyperventilating due to these issues!
My agency called me this morning to tell me that I had to have my photo collage and verification letter (properly notarized and apostilled!) to them by Friday in order to be in Moscow by the weekend. Yep - MOSCOW requested these documents ASAP. Not a big deal, as I'm on top of it and the documents are in Springfield awaiting apostilling, and for all I know are already done! A quick phone call and I'll be back to being miserable in my illness, right?
Wrong! I called Springfield, who located the documents and told me that they would be done today or tomorrow, and sent out to Ohio for a Thursday arrival. Whew! Of course nothing in this process has gone according to plan, so I wasn't necessarily surprised when 10 minutes later I received an e-mail that said that two of the document (I sent 6 total) could not be apostilled because the notary's name was one way on his certificate, and another on his stamp. Guess which documents these were? You got it - the photo verification letter!
This has now caused 18 e-mails (and no I'm not exaggerating - thank you Gmail for keeping a tally on the number of e-mails in a thread!) and at least 7 phone calls to try to figure out what I can do. My biggest fear was that they were going to say "sorry, no referral - we're giving her to someone else and back of the line for you!" but I managed to e-mail them the photos and hopefully the SOS will send them a fax of what we have so far that they can use until the notarized documents get done. I would like to point out that I have not yet heard from my social worker, who needs to do this document over again, despite my quite frantic voice mail and THREE e-mails (2 of which were in response to the director's e-mail response to my initial request).
Wish me luck and please keep those fingers crossed - I'm still not out of the woods, but have at least stopped hyperventilating due to these issues!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Whoops - slacking on all the details!
As part of my relaxing this weekend I decided to comb back through my blog to re-read what has happened so far, as I'm truly hoping to use this as a journal of my adoption journey. First off, I discovered a few typos which of course horrify me, and I haven't yet figured out how to fix them! **Gasp!**
Secondly, I realized I had not provided an update on the possible domestic opportunity in a while. I was a little leery of my FOF finding out that I had accepted a referral because all along I have truly wanted to keep all of my options open and have whatever will be, be. (Anyone else hearing Ka Sara, Sara in their head right about now?). Anyway, this week I received an e-mail from FOF congratulating me because she had heard that I had accepted a referral from Russia. She then proceeded to tell me that the girl who is pregnant here is back in the hospital and might lose the baby because her boyfriend keeps coming over and beating her up. Nice guy! (and yes, this is the same guy who broke up with her because he got his OTHER girlfriend pregnant and he decided he wanted to be with her). This whole story just about breaks my heart - for several reasons. I e-mailed the FOF back with condolences, and more questions but can't stop thinking about this poor girl and her poor baby who didn't ask for ANY of this to happen, and the whole darned mess just makes me mad.
I wish someone could explain to me why people who don't want kids, or don't want to take care of them anyway, don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant while others (myself included) have tried everything possible and it just can't/won't happen for them. My heart breaks for this girl, her family, and her baby because she really was trying to make the right decision for everyone and now has to deal with this - and NO ONE should have to go through that.
Please keep this girl and her baby in your thoughts and prayers - they truly need it right now.
Secondly, I realized I had not provided an update on the possible domestic opportunity in a while. I was a little leery of my FOF finding out that I had accepted a referral because all along I have truly wanted to keep all of my options open and have whatever will be, be. (Anyone else hearing Ka Sara, Sara in their head right about now?). Anyway, this week I received an e-mail from FOF congratulating me because she had heard that I had accepted a referral from Russia. She then proceeded to tell me that the girl who is pregnant here is back in the hospital and might lose the baby because her boyfriend keeps coming over and beating her up. Nice guy! (and yes, this is the same guy who broke up with her because he got his OTHER girlfriend pregnant and he decided he wanted to be with her). This whole story just about breaks my heart - for several reasons. I e-mailed the FOF back with condolences, and more questions but can't stop thinking about this poor girl and her poor baby who didn't ask for ANY of this to happen, and the whole darned mess just makes me mad.
I wish someone could explain to me why people who don't want kids, or don't want to take care of them anyway, don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant while others (myself included) have tried everything possible and it just can't/won't happen for them. My heart breaks for this girl, her family, and her baby because she really was trying to make the right decision for everyone and now has to deal with this - and NO ONE should have to go through that.
Please keep this girl and her baby in your thoughts and prayers - they truly need it right now.
Shopping for RP!
So, my mom and I went to the Frankfort Fall Festival today and I have to say it was quite disappointing. I was hoping to find some really cute one-piece jumpers to bring RP home in and alas, could not. Several years ago I got a really cute one for my niece (including a hat!) and I guess I should have known better than to go into the craft fair specifically LOOKING for something, as my luck is typically that I can find hundreds of things when I don't have anything particular in mind, but once I have a vision I find it next to impossible to complete it. I did find the most adorable "Adoption" picture frame in pink and brown and I can't wait to fill it with a picture from my first trip to Russia!
After the craft fair we went to JCPenney where I found the most adorable blue corduroy ballet-themed jumper and matching onesie set, a summer romper, and a pink "Princess" teddy bear - all on sale! My mom found a couple of adorable pairs of shorts for next summer as well, so RP is already getting quite the wardrobe! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am guessing correctly on all the sizes and that everything will fit in the season for which it is intended, and I am getting more and more anxious to travel to meet my little princess! We are completing the third week of the wait and each day that goes by gets easier, and more difficult, to deal with. I can't explain HOW that can be - I can only explain that it IS. Weird, eh?
Now I am home relaxing, and wondering HOW on earth it got to be Labor Day weekend already, when it seems that time has just dragged this year in moving through the adoption. Hopefully this bodes well for a speedy trip one, followed by trips two and three! As much as I would have loved to have RP home before Christmas, my best guess, if the timeline falls as the agency said it could, would be February. I hope this means I'll have a new Valentine in 2010!!! :)
After the craft fair we went to JCPenney where I found the most adorable blue corduroy ballet-themed jumper and matching onesie set, a summer romper, and a pink "Princess" teddy bear - all on sale! My mom found a couple of adorable pairs of shorts for next summer as well, so RP is already getting quite the wardrobe! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am guessing correctly on all the sizes and that everything will fit in the season for which it is intended, and I am getting more and more anxious to travel to meet my little princess! We are completing the third week of the wait and each day that goes by gets easier, and more difficult, to deal with. I can't explain HOW that can be - I can only explain that it IS. Weird, eh?
Now I am home relaxing, and wondering HOW on earth it got to be Labor Day weekend already, when it seems that time has just dragged this year in moving through the adoption. Hopefully this bodes well for a speedy trip one, followed by trips two and three! As much as I would have loved to have RP home before Christmas, my best guess, if the timeline falls as the agency said it could, would be February. I hope this means I'll have a new Valentine in 2010!!! :)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Yes, another redesign!
To say I get bored easily would be an understatement, as you can probably tell by all my ramblings. Anyway, as much as I liked the last look of the blog, it still wasn't what I envisioned, so I perused a number of different blogs in Blogger to get an idea of what I could do to spruce mine up and voila! I found it! Welcome to the new and improved "Somedays and Mondays" (well, new and improved in my mind anyway!).
Hope you like it!
And yes, I am still NOT-patiently awaiting my travel dates for St. Petersburg. On the plus side, though, I did officially book my Disney Institute class and the travel agent is making my flight arrangements as I type! Look out Mickey, here I come! :)
Hope you like it!
And yes, I am still NOT-patiently awaiting my travel dates for St. Petersburg. On the plus side, though, I did officially book my Disney Institute class and the travel agent is making my flight arrangements as I type! Look out Mickey, here I come! :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Hitting week three...
I am now officially in my third week of the dreaded "wait." I'm pretty sure the stress and anticipation is either going to kill me, or make me gain another 50 pounds, which sucks since I haven't lost the 50 I gained on all the fertility drugs and steroids. I try avoid "bad" foods, but chocolate and sugar are definitely comfort foods, and if I ever needed "comfort" it would be now. I try to work out - either at the gym or home - but I'm afraid of being gone and missing "the call." Instead I play with the puppies (very cathartic I must say!), stare at RP's picture, and drive myself even more insane by shopping for baby stuff online.
I finally bit the bullet and signed up for my Disney Institute class and am hoping that a trip to the Magic Kingdom will be just what the doctor ordered. I am as excited about going as a little kid, even though this trip will be more work than play. Who WOULDN'T want to work in Mickey's backyard?!?! :)
What I haven't done is RSVP for my class reunion, which is in October and DEFINITELY in the time frame in which I can reasonably hope to travel. Facebook has reacquainted me with a lot of old friends and I would LOVE to see them, but as I alluded to earlier, I am WAY too fat to be attending a reunion, MY reunion, right now. (Never mind the fact that I am in COMPLETE denial of the fact that I am even old enough to be celebrating a 20-year high school reunion!)
Oh, the joys!!! Please keep your fingers crossed for a quick trip to Russia (and if you see me please encourage the whole workout and low-fat, low-cal snack foods - I need all the help I can get!)!!! :)
I finally bit the bullet and signed up for my Disney Institute class and am hoping that a trip to the Magic Kingdom will be just what the doctor ordered. I am as excited about going as a little kid, even though this trip will be more work than play. Who WOULDN'T want to work in Mickey's backyard?!?! :)
What I haven't done is RSVP for my class reunion, which is in October and DEFINITELY in the time frame in which I can reasonably hope to travel. Facebook has reacquainted me with a lot of old friends and I would LOVE to see them, but as I alluded to earlier, I am WAY too fat to be attending a reunion, MY reunion, right now. (Never mind the fact that I am in COMPLETE denial of the fact that I am even old enough to be celebrating a 20-year high school reunion!)
Oh, the joys!!! Please keep your fingers crossed for a quick trip to Russia (and if you see me please encourage the whole workout and low-fat, low-cal snack foods - I need all the help I can get!)!!! :)
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