Made it back to St. Petersburg

Despite two plane changes (the first flight being EXTREMELY FULL - yet again!), and a nine-hour time difference we are sitting in the lobby of our hotel watching a hockey game on the big screen TV and trying to keep our eyes open. This trip was easier than the last in that we knew what to expect, where we were going, and how the process was run, but knowing that also make me WAY more sleepy this time, and I crashed for about an hour after we checked in, got settled, and sent the "we made it safe and sound" e-mail to family and close friends!

Tomorrow the day starts early - 9:15 we are being picked up to head over to the orphanage where I will meet with my interpreter for court, and then get to spend some time with RP! (Guss this means I need to "train" my mom on how to use the new camera tonight then, eh?). The specific time for court hasn't been specified yet so I'm still waiting on that, but I did hear that the hearing itself should last about an hour. I inquired on when I would be able to come and get my little RP after court and am not comforted by the answer, as apparently there is a two-day government holiday in February that may impact my ability to come, swoop her up, and head home so it's either come and stay over here for 10+ days, or stay home and head back here a bit later. Hmmm.... didn't know that and not happy to hear it, but first things first - lets head to court and get the adoption finalized. THEN we can start planning RP's happy homecoming!

Leaving tomorrow...

At this time tomorrow my Mom and I will be in mid-air (hopefully anyway!) on our way back to St. Petersburg. I am excited and nervous all at the same time - excited to see my little RP (and more importantly, see if she remembers me!) and nervous about court. At least this time the anxiety is partially tempered by the fact that we've done this once before - flying into foreign airports, making connections, being picked up in a strange airport in a strange land where we do not speak the language, and you know what - we survived. :) Hopefully in a few short days everything will be official and the courts will agree that RP should come home with me and be a part of my forever family - wow! It seems like it has taken so long to get here, yet it seems almost surreal to believe that the process is winding down and finally coming to a close.

I can't wait for you all to meet her, to hold her, and to make her a part of your lives. Soon.... very, very soon....

The next 48 hours...

Approximately 48 hours from now my mom and I will be leaving for the airport to head back to St. Petersburg, see RP, and finalize the adoption in court. Through everyone's good thoughts and prayers the FBI clearances AND visas have been received, scanned, and sent off to the appropriate parties, and I am in varying states of disarray when it comes to packing everything that needs to go with us!

After such a long time (just over 12 months) this seems almost surreal. Is it really possible that next week at this time I'll officially be a MOM, even though I won't have custody of my precious RP for a couple of weeks? I try to focus on the positive but inside I can't deny that I'm terrified something will go wrong, the court will say "nyet," and I will come back broken-hearted. I also know that I have a fantastic agency and that I wouldn't have gotten this far if there was going to be a problem, so I need to relax and enjoy what's left of my "bachelorette life" before I move into the next, most important phase ever, my "new mommy life."

I'll try to blog and post pictures while we're over there and you might even hear me shout for joy when the court appointment is over - yes, from 10.000 miles away! After the long process, the waiting and the hoping, the disappointments and delays, this is exactly where I want to be, and the only thing better will be when I hold my little girl in my arms... for good!

Finally - some GOOD news!!!

Yay - my FBI background clearance check is DONE and on the FedEx truck to be delivered to my home TODAY. WOO-HOO!!! I have lost countless hours of sleep worrying about what would happen if I didn't have it back, but Michael in the FBI's Customer Service department is my new BFF for getting this done for me!!! Now, if I could just get my passports with visas back AND get rid of yet another sinus infection, I would be dancing for joy (yes, literally!)!!!

A BIG thanks has to go out to family and friends for all your thoughts and prayers - as I've said before, I could not possible do all this without you guys! :)

Mini-meltdown - to be expected???

As I alluded to yesterday my nerves were starting to get the best of me and I was struggling to remain upbeat and positive while facing down some pretty daunting deadlines in front of me, all while trying to work full-time and prepare to journey half-way across the world. This all came to a head last night when, for no reason other than it had been building all day, I had a mini-meltdown (which I'm sure won't be the last before this process is over!).

I'm tired - mentally and physically - and ready to move on with everything, not just the adoption. Work has been stressful lately in that my boss, who previously had been pretty laid back and cool, has become more tyranical in his thoughts and actions lately, is now holding me personally responsible for a number of projects, initiatives, and communications that really have NOTHING to do with my day-to-day job. I'm all for branching out and trying new things, but when my team is struggling due to being short-staffed and seeing increased volumes of work for the 5th month in a row, NOW is not the time to try all this "new stuff" out. He is clearly not happy that I will be out on FMLA for a period of time and is pressuring me to set up weekly check-in times with him while I'm out. NOT a fan of this idea and it's NOT gonna happen, which may limit my career options here, which is sad and ironic since this is the same company that prides itself of trying to create healthy work-life balances. I would also like to point out that my boss is a father with three kids of his own - all under the age of 5 - and that although his wife does not work outside the office, they have a nanny for the children, a concept I truly don't understand, but that's another subject for another day. Anyway...

Couple this with the fact that I'm nervous and on-edge about my upcoming trip and oh-so important court appointment, and you've got one messy bundle of nerves who fights every morning to get out of bed and do her best all day long, all while not giving in to the overwhelming urge to curl up and just bawl her eyes out. That's all I can do, and that's all I'm going to do. In the interim, if I become snappy or snarky please smack me back into good sense - I truly don't mean it and am trying really hard not to let it happen....

Nervous Nelly!

I have truly been trying to keep everything in perspective, remain positive, and let things play out accordingly. I would LIKE to believe that I have been doing a semi-good job at this, despite the craziness that is playing out at the office AND despite the fact that I don't have a critical document in my possession... yet.

Then WHY am I wigging out because the Travel Coordinator from Moscow has called me not once, but TWICE today to beg me to send her a copy of my new passport? She left me a message at 9:00 this morning asking for it, then called back at 1 p.m. to ask for it again! I let her know that I am at work and won't get to it until tonight (I tried checking out old e-mails hoping to find it attached to one of them, but alas, that isn't the case!). Perhaps it is because I am not altogether 100% sure I HAVE a copy of my new passport, although I am guessing somewhere in the mountains of paperwork I do as it was needed for my dossier.

More so, it is likely this has me frazzled because I have been trying to hard to be positive and optimistic about the BIG things that need to get done, that hearing about a "little thing" that I hadn't counted on being an issue, has gotten me unglued. Thank goodness for a crazy-busy workday today which should keep me blissfully occupied throughout the afternoon.

Here's to keeping my fingers crossed that I find a copy of that passport tonight!!! :)

Focus on the positive, right?

So, as I have lamented time and time again, I STILL don't have my FBI fingerprint clearance yet, but the positive news for today is that my visa applications were delivered to the courier's home at 6:30 this morning! Yes, that's right - FedEx had them there at 6:30 a.m. Hopefully this is more than enough lead time to get our applications over to the Russian Consulate, then zoomed on back to us before next Friday!

I wonder if I could get the courier to drive to West Virginia to kick the FBI in gear... :)

I started reading over the questions to be prepared for answering in court and I'm nervous about the fact that I feel like I should be MORE nervous about the process. I know it's more than a formality, but everything is solid and I'm really hoping there aren't any red flags while I'm there that get sprung on me during the process. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I was assigned the female judge for court, but I'm hoping for all good, right???

This trying to be positive is really, really, REALLY hard... :)

More random photos from the second visit

Have I mentioned how much I love my agency? How much I love the coordinators I have worked with there? My Russian coordinator (Svetlana1 - yes, there were two Svetlanas!) sent me all the instructions for preparing for court yesterday, but as a bonus she included some photos of our second visit with RP (the first visit she let me touch her without screaming bloody murder!), so I have included a couple more of my faves below:

Does her face not scream "I don't THINK so lady?!?!?!"

She seemed much better here - as long as we were walking and I let her lead the way she was fine with me, and actually started to relax a bit!

Time for a quick photo, then back to walking before she started to cry again. Poor little thing - she really had no idea what was going on, and all things considered she was a real trooper since we took her away from playing with her friends to spend time with us on the playground.

I can't wait to go back and see my little RP again. Her room is ready, the puppies are thrilled to be getting a baby sister (which I judge by their ever-wagging tails when I ask them if they are ready for a baby sister) and my family and I are BEYOND excited to finally be nearing the point where we can bring her home.... Hopefully they'll be more photos of her smiling and laughing instead of glaring at the camera here soon!

This just in...

So, I just heard back from my coordinator in Russia who informed me that I do NOT have to make a speech in court (whew!) but that I should come prepared to discuss everything on my home study and financial documents - guess I'd better commit those to memory!

She also sent me seven new photos of my first outside visit with RP and I just HAD to include this one, as it's my favorite and brought tears to my eyes:

I can't WAIT to go back now!!!

Pregnancy brain?

So, I guess my first question is whether or not you can even GET "pregnancy brain" without physically being pregnant? No offense to my pregnant (or formerly pregnant!) friends, but my understanding of pregnancy brain is that you become very forgetful, scatterbrained, or just out of it on some level, which is pretty much what I have going on right about now.

I spent Friday night filling out dual-entry visa applications for my mom and I to fill out and sign, so we could get them Fed-Ex'd out straight away today. Filled out the forms, my mom signed hers before our big shopping excursion on Saturday, and I was content knowing that everything would be sent out first thing this morning.

I kept hearing rumblings on the train on Friday, and seeing people posting things about "three day weekends" on Facebook, but it honestly wasn't until YESTERDAY that I realized that MLK day was today. Uh, hello - MLK day equates into banks being closed, which also equates into no way possible for Teri to go and get that money order for the visas that was required for the package to go out. Okay, no biggie - I'll grab the cash out of an ATM and find a scary Currency Exchange to get the money order (figuring if I could manage a Currency Exchange in St. Petersburg I could CERTAINLY handle one in Chicago, right???).

Problem number two comes in that you have to send your passports, along with the money orders, and along with the visa applications, in order to have them processed. YEP - you guessed it - I left my passports, safely locked up in the lockbox at home. AARRGGHHH - I am SO frustrated with myself right now - we are cutting this right down to the wire, and we'll have just a little over a week to get our visas AND let's not forget that I still don't have my FBI fingerprint clearance back yet.

The good news??? Two weeks from today I'll be seeing my little RP again. I can't wait. :)

Court dates!!!

Literally hot off the presses is that I JUST received my court dates!!! I am in utter disbelief (and a bit of a panic) that the dates are finally here!

Court is scheduled for February 2, so we need to leave here on January 30 to be there in time to visit RP (they built time in on the 1st - I am SO excited!), head to court, then come home on the 3rd. Yep - a whirlwind trip, but by my calculations the 10 day waiting period would be up (at the latest) on February 16!!!

My nerves are shot because I just found out from the FBI yesterday that my fingerprints are NOT done yet and I'm not looking forward to another 'go-round with them, so please keep your fingers crossed that everything is done and comes back ASAP.

There truly is light at the end of the tunnel - and with that, here we go!!! :)

Frustrated!!!

So, I called the Customer Service department for the FBI this morning (which, by the way, still weirds me out!) and after speaking with a MOST unpleasant girl (unlike the guy I spoke to the first time) I am beyond frustrated with this process!

First off, the girl talked to me like I'm an idiot. I spelled my name for her THREE TIMES and she kept asking me, "Are you sure?" Uh... yeah - I'm pretty sure I know how to spell my.own.name.

Then she told me they didn't have it. Um - I don't think so, since I called on December 23 and the guy I talked to was not only able to find it, but also able to tell me that it was in process. Please check again.

Oh.... yeah, we have it. But it's not done. It's only been SEVEN WEEKS. It takes anywhere from eight to ten to process. You knew this, right?

Yes, I knew this - from the first time I called. I let her know that all the paperwork I received, one of the documents which is from the FBI itself, says that this process takes four to five weeks. As we've already determined, it's been SEVEN. She acknowledges this and tells me that it USED to take four-five weeks, but now they are so busy it takes eight to ten.

I let her know that I am waiting for a call to go to Russia to go to court any day now and I REALLY need this done, and despite my reddened face and palpitating heart, I ask her nicely if there is anything she can do to flag it or put a rush on it. As you may have already guessed, the answer was "no." Not just "no," but "no I can't - call us back in two weeks if you haven't heard anything yet."

I usually keep my opinions about our government to myself but this is ludicrous. Not to open up a sensitive subject, but this is exactly why government-run health care is a bad idea - if this were a pre-surgical consult I was waiting on, life or death, I would be dead before the government was able to make any decision and get back to me! I realize this is apples-to-oranges, but to me this IS life and death, and the apathy of the girl I talked to set the tone (and my mood) for the entire day.

Guess I'll keep waiting, and hope that I get this back before I have to call these people back again. I'm pretty sure if a third phone call becomes necessary I might not pass this background check after all...

Quickly approaching six weeks...

So we're not there yet, but two days from now will mark six weeks of waiting for court. While I am working VERY hard on remaining an eternal optimist, this date is a bit bittersweet for me because when I left Russia my coordinator told me she was hopeful that I'd be back in six weeks for court. Which would be THIS.WEEK.

My little RP is blissfully unaware that I am over here, pining for her - and as weird as it sounds, that makes me happy. Happy for her because her life is going on as usual as she is too young to truly understand what is about to happen to her. The people that we met at the orphanage truly appear to care for the children and do their best to ensure the happiness of the little ones, and in the midst of all the excitement and anticipation of her finally coming home with me, I do feel badly for ripping her away from that love and care, away from the only home she has ever known.

I am hoping to hear any day now of my impending court date and am anxious to make that day and a half trip again. Of course, I STILL don't have my FBI fingerprint clearance and I desperately need that before I can go to court, so I guess everything happens for a reason. Timing is everything. (insert your favorite, appropriate, cliche here!) However, I can't WAIT to be holding my little RP, once and for all, and begin our new adventure in life. Together.

Five weeks, no word yet...

I can hardly believe it, but it's been FIVE WEEKS since my mom and I left Russia to come back here and start the waiting game all over again. Five weeks - wow. The coordinators over there said to anticipate a wait of no less than six weeks, and hopefully now that the Russian holidays are coming to an end, maybe we'll hear something soon. Considering the fact that we are having blizzard-like conditions today and United and American had already cancelled a number of their flights by 6:30 this morning (you learn a LOT when you are up at 5 a.m. to shovel snow!) I guess it's a good thing we weren't trying to leave today, or even this weekend. Also considering the fact that I don't have my background check back from the FBI, I would be a wreck right about now if I were trying to leave.

Still, I miss my little RP terribly and can't wait to go over there and make everything "official." I have started telling people at work (the more gossipy ones are at the end of the week - I am going to need extra-strength Tylenol to get me through those discussions - well, that or vodka. Lots of vodka.) and the reactions make me chuckle. My supervisors were all very excited and nice about it - and truly surprised and amazed that I kept such a big undertaking secret for as long as I did. I told a colleague (not a close one) yesterday in a meeting because I am trying to get some communications issues cleared up between our teams before I am out on my leave, and she didn't bat an eye - no congratulations, "are you nuts?," nothing. I am not entirely sure she understood what I was talking about/getting at, but it was still pretty awkward. People are funny - and I guess that was my first taste of someone finding out and not being happy for me, and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. Sad, but true.

So from here we'll keep waiting and hoping for a quick court date and an even faster 10-day waiting period to go by so I can bring my little RP home once and for all. Until then, we'll just keep waiting... :)

New Year, New Adventures

Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone had an incredible holiday, and that 2010 holds nothing but good for everyone! I, for one, am beyond excited at the prospects this new year, and new decade hold. Hopefully very soon the waiting will be over and RP will be home, for good.

2010 is a new beginning, but also an end. An end to being a "family of one" (aka - bachelorette!). An end to waiting for my little princess. An end to the endless amounts of paperwork that had consumed the better part of 2009. An end to red tape, frustrations, and impatience that had ALSO consumed a great deal of 2009.

2010 is the new beginning I have been longing for. A new beginning with my little family. A new beginning as a Mommy, when I am sure to make mistakes, am sure to be confused, but hopefully never fully fail. Most importantly, a new beginning for RP, who will hopefully be home for Easter this year, or at least her 2nd birthday.

The 2009 holiday festivities are over, but hopefully that does not end the good news and glad tidings that are in store - the best is truly yet to come!

Happy New Year everyone!!!