2011: A Year In Retrospect

I can hardly believe that Christmas has come and gone, and that 4 days from now we will be in 2012. Where has the time gone? As I was reflecting on this during my drive home tonight (with a 90 minute commute I have a LOT of time to reflect!) I couldn't help but remember the following about this year:

1.) RP hit some MAJOR milestones. She turned three in April, started pre-school (in earnest) in June, began taking gymnastics and ballet lessons, participated n her first pageant, and last (but certainly not least!), was FINALLY potty trained! Her speech has improved dramatically and she now knows her ABCs, can count, and is beginning to learn to read and write. What happened to my baby???

2.) Our mega-family vacation to Disney World! Despite crappy weather and large crowds, the kids had a blast, and I'll admit I did too. I'm not sure when, if ever, we will ALL be able to take a vacation like this again, and it was enjoyable to share it with RP, my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my niece and nephews! I was worried about taking RP on a plane ride after our experience flying back from Moscow, but it couldn't have gone smoother - we literally sat down in our seats, she snuggled in and promptly fell asleep until we reached our destination - both there AND back. Now WHY didn't that happen on those international flights?!?!?!

3.) RP's first road trip. We drove to northern Wisconsin for a few days to get away, and so RP could finally meet her extended family of cousins, aunts, and uncles. She was a trooper on the 6-hour car ride, crying only the last 20 minutes or so because she was ready to be done in the car, and we both had a fantastic time visiting family and enjoying the new scenery.

4.) Multiple career changes. I started the year as the Customer Service Manager for an online marketing company, and was promptly laid off as of January 4 (nice of them to allow me to "celebrate" my four-year anniversary with the comapny on January 3rd). Despite some rough goings ever since I returned from my adoption leave for RP, I was still shocked. I was miserable in that job, but it paid the bills, and suddenly I was faced with having to make do on unemployment while I looked for a job. That task was daunting, and I cannot even begin to count the number of resumes I sent out, but I finally went back to work in September more than eight months as a stay-at-home mom. My new official title is Sales Training Specialist, and I was thrilled to be back in training - I just wish my job were actually a little more training and a little less babysitting the sales reps. I am not, however, complaining - everyone I work with is really nice and I'm grateful to be back to work, despite taking a HUGE paycut in accepting this position (but yes, it's better than "living on the system!").

5.) I'm an aunt again! Baby AS joined older siblings AC, EG, AB, and IJ in late October, and it's exciting to have a tiny munchkin in the family again. Does it make me want another child? Hmmm.... yes and no. I love RP to pieces and would do every bit of the process again for her, but I am not financially able to do a Russian adoption again, and I would worry that what little time I feel like I am able to spend with RP would have to be split between two, and I'm not sure that would be fair to either of them. If the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't turn it away, but RP most likely will be an only child - good thing she has GOBS of cousins to play with!

6.) I turned the big 4-0. Yes, it's still hard to write, let alone talk about. How did I get so damned old? Some days I feel every bit of 40 (and then some) and others I can hardly believe it. 40 IS the new 30... right?

7.) Another furbaby enters the menagerie. RP convinced me that she just HAD to get a kitten after Nana got her new kitten late this summer, so we adopted Chloe, a beautiful and sweet calico kitty, in early September. This new addition now brings our household to one Mommy, one RP, one betta fish (Nemo), two dogs, and two cats! It's crazy around here, and I often tell people that if we try to add one more animal to this place I will need a petting zoo license to do so, but it works for us. And no, there will be NO more animals any time soon...

When put to paper, 2011 was a pretty good year. Yes, there were certainly ups and downs, but all in all RP and I were very blessed this year. I hope 2012 is good as well, not just for us, but for all our family and friends, who are the biggest blessings we have in this life. Happy New Year one and all!

The holidays are upon us???

I can hardly believe that Halloween has been here and gone, let alone Thanksgiving. This year, like so many others, I have so much to be thankful for, and Thanksgiving is a great time to reflect on all of our many blessings. Thanksgiving also holds a special place in my heart because two years ago my Mom and I left the Saturday after Thanksgiving to go to Russia and meet RP for the first time. Naturally, every Thanksgiving I remember this, and am oh-so thankful that everything worked out and I am officially her Mommy (yes, even on the days that she has tested my patience to the limits!).

I have been blessed not only with a wonderful daughter, but an amazing family and phenomenal friends. This year truly has been a test, and one of considerable change. After being unexpectedly laid off for eight and a half months, I moved into a new job, one which for the most part I enjoy, although the commute is already wearing on me. To take the job, I had to take a considerable pay cut, and find myself re-evaluating everything from where I live, to the car I drive, to my future career plans. Adding to the challenge of the year, both my Mom and my best friend have experienced health challenges, and I feel helpless standing by and watching as the two women closest to me in this life show courage and strength as they fight to regain their health, and (at the risk of sounding dramatic), their lives.

Yes, there have been the positives as well. RP continues to be the light of my life, and is thriving at home and at school. Yes, she can be a handful at times, but I wouldn't have her any other way. I am an aunt again to a niece, so my parents now are grandparents to three boys and three girls, and I can't wait to hold Baby A and get in some serious auntie-baby snuggles! I would also be woefully remiss in identifying the positives if I didn't add in the latest addition to my menagerie - RP's kitten "Baby Chloe" whom she adores, and who keeps the puppies and Cassie on their toes (literally!). Finally, the love and support I received the entire year from family and friends was truly overwhelming, and really helped to keep me focused and moving forward, despite many days of just wanting to hide under the covers and never come out!

As the year draws to a close and we get ready to celebrate Christmas, I hope everyone takes time to reflect on the year - the good and the bad - and takes time to celebrate with those dearest to you. I certainly can never truly put into words how thankful I am for my family and friends, and can never pay back everything they have given me, but this holiday season I am committed to letting each and every one of them know how special they are to me, and how much they mean to both RP and I. Isn't that what the holidays are all about???

Officially a pageant family???

Okay, not really. Well, maybe so. Kinda. Sorta. Hmmm...



Let me back up. RP participated in her first "pageant" on Saturday and seemed to LOVE it. I wasn't too sure about leaving the decision to do this up to a three-year old, but what the heck - it was a natural pageant at a local mall, not too expensive, and outside of the entry fees our investment was the $6.00 hair clips I found to match her Easter dress. Why not?



We showed up at the mall 10 minutes before it opened because the registration rules stated that we had to register an hour before the even started, and it was scheduled to start at 11 a.m. - one hour after the mall opened. I was third in line for registration and somewhat surprised that it wasn't more chaotic. Clearly in this neck of the woods people aren't clamouring to parade their children around on stage at 11:00 on a Saturday morning. After registration I had an hour to kill with an active three-year old who was dressed up, hair done, and looking to do more than stand around and preserve this look until AFTER the judging had taken place.


I try to think of myself as a good mom, and I had reservations about doing this from the start. RP gets compliments on her looks all the time, and I have really been working hard to let her know that while it is great to be beautiful on the outside, it's what inside that truly matters. Looks don't last forever - personality, and how we treat others does. I think she gets it. I hope she gets it. Then I ask myself if I am a complete study in contradiction for entering her into something where she says not a word but dresses up, stands on stage, and is encouraged to smile and blow kisses to three people she has never met before, clearly being "judged" only by how she looks??? Hmmm....


She wanted to do it - to the point that she actually took time (all of about five minutes most days, but at her age, five minutes is a LIFETIME) to practice walking all alone, pretending to be on-stage. She told me she wanted to be a princess (not to be confused with those days she wants to be a superhero, or a rock star, or a doctor...) and win a crown and a trophy. Okee dokee - seals it for me. She doesn't need to know that EVERYONE who enters wins a crown, right?


She loved her pageant experience. Me? Well, the judge and jury are still out? I love dressing her up and having Mommy/daughter time with her, and Nana and Papa came out and showed their support (with Nana encouraging her from the crowd by cheering and blowing kisses at her, and Papa acting as chief photographer of the big event), and I have to say that watching her step onstage and have fun with it, instead of being scared or timid was great. She's NOT shy, which is something I have struggled with my entire life, and she loved being the center of attention in the big crowd, although I don't think the judges were as impressed with her onstage spins as Mommy was!


There were two parts I did not enjoy. First off, the fact that I found myself sizing up the "competition" (there was ONE other little girl in RP's age division. One. I didn't even see her until we had to line up to go onstage, so my "sizing up" was of the wrong little girls in the first place!) and even being somewhat catty about what some of these kids were wearing (FYI - in my defense, I found it wrong and Saturday, and still find it wrong today that a mother put her five-year old in light make-up, a short dress, and 3-inch zip-up gold lame' heels - and no, I'm not even exaggerating here!). Being catty about kids just felt wrong, and made for an "icky" feeling before the even even started! Secondly, after the event I found myself mad that RP didn't win the overall queen title for her age division. Now, she won FIVE medals (I can't even tell you what they were for), a trophy for Most Photogenic, and then first-runner up for her age group while the little girl that won only won one other medal, then queen for the division. Let me say for the record that the other little girl and her mother were very sweet, and I was happy to see her so excited to win. I just didn't get how this scoring system worked, and to me it just didn't seem to add up. That being said, perhaps "mad" was the wrong word to use here - I was confused by the whole thing and frustrated that I couldnt' figure it out, but RP didn't know or care about any of this - she got her trophy (and a bonus one to boot!) AND she got her princess crown that she had been talking about all week, which made it all worthwhile. If that weren't enough, RP, who normally goes by her initials and not her full name, insisted the entire day that she be referred to by her full name only, as it was a princess name and she was a princess for the day.


Will we do it again? Honestly - dunno. I have asked RP a few times since yesterday if she wants to do it again and sometimes the answer is "yes," and sometimes it's "no." What I do know is that if she wants to do it again we will, but in the same type of event - low key, no make-up, no tanning, no fake hair, etc. etc. etc. I'm fine with big poufy dresses and curly-que hair, but that's where we draw the line. As long as she is happy with it, wants to do it, and has fun with it, we can try just about anything. They always say that you never know about something until you've tried it, and this is something that we can say we tried... and the smile on her face at the end of it was worth it all!

Updates - finally!!!

Yes, I know - my last two posts have been about being a slacker at keeping this blog updated, so I won't say it, even though that is what has happened. I can't believe we are already into November - a mere three weeks from Thanksgiving and SEVEN weeks from Christmas! Where has the year gone? They say time gets away from you the older you get, and "they" (whoever "they" are anyway!) weren't lying!

Where to start? RP is doing fantastic, despite a few rough patches over these last several weeks. She has completed her second session of gymnastics and already started her third, and still loves the rough-and-tumble time it allows her, although she now runs and jumps through the house repeatedly, which is fine for now but keeps me up at night thinking about when she actually learns how to do flips and watching her do them through the house - ugh. I will be an utter basketcase! She also has started ballet class, and absolutely loves it! It's just through the park district, but it's a perfect intro for her and she has a friend in the class as the daughter of one of my high school classmates is in her class, so she loves playing with Sami after class every week. She has a couple of weeks off between sessions, but will be in her first dance recital in January and I already can't wait - although, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was disappointed to find out that the kids don't get actual costumes for the recital but rather wear their normal class attire. Good thing we purchased the "Ballerina in a Box" costume set from Danskin - she is set with her own tutu already! RP has also expressed an interest in taking figure skating classes, but that is going to have to wait a bit - she is already at pre-school two days a week, ballet one day a week, and gymnastics one day a week. Maybe it's me, but that seems like plenty for a three-year old!

As if our schedule wasn't packed enough, RP is going to compete in her first pageant on Saturday. It isn't a "Toddlers and Tiaras" pageant, which is the only reason I'm letting her do it, but she gets to wear a pretty dress and all the kids get crowns at the end. My little competative soul, however, has already told me that she is "going to winnit Mama," while "de other girls are gonna lose..." I swear I didn't teach her this, but her competative spirit fits right in with the family - we've all always been competative! I'm excited for her and think she'll do great, but I'm afraid I'm going to get more stressed out than she is, and it will be a nightmare. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Work is going well. Being a remote employee definitely has its ups and downs, and the commute for the most part just sucks. I figured out that I put over 100 miles a day on my vehicle, and when you drive a mini-van that gets 19 mpg because your previous job had you driving less than 30 miles per day, it really adds up. I've been looking at getting a new car but just can't find one I like, or that I can truly afford right now that will give me maximum mpg. I used to love car shopping, but my last employer wiped all the fun from that experience so this has just been a chore and a half... and then some. The work is definitely more challenging on many levels than I originally gave it credit for, and mind-numbing in other areas, but it is steady income and I am enjoying it so far.

Finally, this wouldn't be a full and complete update without noting that I am an aunt again - for the FIFTH time! Baby Anna arrived Friday afternoon, four weeks early, and is headed home tonight. I can't wait to see her and hold her, but Mom and baby are doing great and that's great news for right now! She is the youngest of five, and I still can't get over the fact that I now have FIVE nieces and nephews. Five. Wow. I don't know how they do it - RP keeps me hoppin' to the point that I can't fathom taking care of one more, let alone four more of her. Guess that's why THEY have five, and I have RP - God gives us the family we were meant to have!

Whew! This was LONG, and long overdue! Hopefully it won't be as long for my next post, and I'll have exciting news to share, along with some new pictures!

Slacking...

I know... I know... I've been slacking BIG time on updating this blog. It's not for the lack of trying - it's just been insane around here these last few weeks and I've had a hard time finding time to sit at the computer and just type!

RP is doing well, although she has decided that her new bed time is whenever she gets around to falling asleep, and these last several weeks that often means that she isn't falling asleep until around 9-9:30 p.m., even though she is actually going to bed at 7:30 p.m. I do have to say, however, that potty training is going swimmingly and for the most part she is dry 24/7. Once we run out of the current stash of nighttime pull-ups I am done with them, and I can't wait (one less expense... one less mess!). She is back in school full-time two days a week and I am amazed at all the things she is learning! Counting, letters, and basic reading skills are all being tackled at an alarming speed, and her vocabulary is constantly increasing as well. My one concern is that as her vocabulary has increased, she has developed a stammer, which everyone tells me is normal for her age and will go away with time. I hope they're right...

Along with RP's updates, I've been busy as well. September 12 I started my new job, and although it's slow going in terms of actual job training, I have already spent three days in Los Angeles, and am heading to Oklahoma City and Rock Island soon as well. I hate being away from RP, especially since I have been with her pretty much 24/7 for the last eight months, but the company and people are great, and after this whirlwind tour, I won't have to travel again until the beginning of December, and probably only a handful of times next year as well. I love being back in training and am excited to get going and show them what I can do!

The only other update from here is that on Saturday I took RP to her first NASCAR race. She begged and begged and BEGGED to go in July when Papa and I went to the first round of races here, so I actually got her a ticket for the Nationwide race this past Saturday. I expected her to behave and have fun, and I was not let down. She was a trooper doing all the walking to the track and the climbing of the stairs to get to our seats, and she was grinning from ear to ear when the cars came out and started to race. In fact, she was SO excited by the whole process that she fell asleep sitting up next to me, and didn't flutter an eyelash when I laid her down on the bench and covered her up with our sweatshirts. Poor thing passed out around lap 35 and I woke her up with 50 laps to go. She loved the experience and is already asking to go NEXT year, but she has expressed dissatisfaction with the fact that she can't actually be the one racing!!!

A LOT of new updates!

I have been woefully remiss in updating my blog lately, and I really have no excuse. This summer has flown by, and I'm happy to report that of mid-September I will be gainfully employed again. Okay, so I somewhat lie about being "happy" to report that. I am THRILLED that I will be going back to work, and in a role I am truly passionate about. That being said, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I have enjoyed spending inordinate amounts of time with RP over these past nine months, and I am going to miss those moments as we settle back into a routine of daycare drop-offs, late night dinners and baths, and making the most of our 48-hour weekends. She has blossomed so much over these last several months, and while it hasn't been easy to juggle finances while being unemployed, I am grateful for the time I was able to spend with her and am looking forward to launching head-first into my new career with a renewed passion and energy. Let's just hope I feel that way come the first day of work when I'm blearily trying to get myself and RP out of bed and into the car as the sun is rising!

August has been a very busy month for RP and I. She finished up her first session of gymnastics and is already heading into week two of her second session. We went on an overnight trip to Key Lime Cove (an indoor water park/hotel outside of Chicago) with Nana and Papa and had a BLAST! We've had play dates with old and new friends alike, played at the park, and make friends with Nana's new baby kitten "Mick." While the weather didn't always cooperate, we had a fantastic summer, and one I won't soon forget.

RP has now officially been home for over 18 months. Other than a slight cold, and what appears to be a minor allergy to strawberries, she is completely healthy and over-the-top giddy/silly/happy. Her laugh fills the room, and her smile is infectious. When she gets mad, she gets REALLY mad, as was evidenced by a recent trip to Target which ended in her screaming bloody murder all through the store because she didn't end up getting a toy that she wanted (apparently one that she REALLY REALLY wanted). She is everything I could have dreamed in a daughter... and more.

I'm sure I missed a bunch of stuff, and I KNOW there were a lot of funny stories that I meant to write, but never got around to. I'll try to go back and fill those in over the next week or so, and promise to work on keeping this more up-to-date moving forward!

Almost 18 months home!

Today was Open House at RP's pre-school, which brought me back to LAST year's Open House, which happened to fall on the 6-month anniversary of our arrival home. It's hard to believe that it has only been 18 months, and I was thrilled with the report of RP's pre-school teacher that she is doing very well in school, and even ahead of some of the other kids in her class in some areas.

I haven't posted pictures in a while, so I thought this would be a great time to do so (and yes, it's another one of those "then and now" moments - please bear with me here!).

This was taken on August 27, 2010 - RP had been home exactly six months and while we had found a comfortable routine, in hindsight I can say that we were still in a transitional state. RP was still getting comfortable, developing language skills, and learning to trust and love. You can see in the picture how serious she still looks, how apprehensive she still is. After 22 months in an orphanage she learned to be guarded and expect that the people around you wouldn't stick around forever, and I'm sure she expected nothing less here. The last 18 months certainly haven't been easy, but they have been worth every sacrifice, tear, and frustration, and I can say with absolute honesty that the joys have definitely outweighed any rough patches we hit.

This picture is from earlier today when we were getting ready to head to RP's Open House. It was hard to get her to stand still and STOP being silly for a few seconds so I could snap some pictures (okay, like 30 of them!). I am completely and totally biased, but when I look at the picture from today I see a child who is relaxed and confident not only in herself, but also in the fact that she is loved. It may sound cliche' that love can cure all, but I truly believe that it can work miracles. Today my daughter is almost a complete polar opposite of the child she was a year and a half ago. Would I love her any less if she wasn't? No. I loved her the minute I laid eyes on her, and I love her for who she is, whatever that may be. Today that happens to be a silly, energetic, inquisitive three-year old. What tomorrow holds is anyone's guess, but I'm looking forward to finding out!!!

So much for sympathy!

Today I took RP with me when I ran to the doctor's office to get some blood drawn. Before we left I explained to her that Mommy had to go to the doctor and get a shot, and she would have to be patient in the room with me while it was happening. She was fine with this, and when we got to the doctor's office she was more than curious about everything going on in there - so much so that the phlebotomist was practically a pretzel moving around her! After three sticks - one in the hand and two in the arm, they were finally able to get the blood they needed, and RP was fascinated with the blood going in the tube, and the fact that Mommy had a "boo-boo" that was bleeding and required a non-Mickey Mouse band-aid.

When we got outside, I asked RP why Mommy didn't get a sucker after getting her shot. I was kidding of course, but RP looked at me very seriously and replied, "Because you weren't a good girl Mommy." I laughed out loud and asked WHY I wasn't a good girl in there, to which she replied, "You need to use your listening ears Mommy. Lissss-tennnn..."

While at least I now know that she HEARS everything I say to her, it would be nice if she would implement some of her own "advice" every once in a while! That being said, I'm off to find a little Dum-Dum sucker downstairs - I think I've earned it today!!!

RP-ism's (Part 2)

Of course after I write the RP-ism's post she has a few more doozies to add last night:

• I put RP to bed at her normal time last night, and not an hour later I head upstairs to discover that she had a "messy" diaper (and let me tell you, "messy" is an understatement here!). While I was changing her I remarked that she had quite a stinky diaper, to which RP responded, "Mommy, it okay to say diaper 'tinky, but we don't say people are 'tinky. It will hurt their feelings. It will (dramatic pause here...)... hurt their heart." Guess I'm doing something right!


• To follow up on what we do and don't say, RP reminded me once again, "... AND we don't say f***." Sigh - yeah, I've still got some work to do!

RP-ism's...

Lately many people have referred to my child as a "character," and I have to say that I tend to agree. She is so silly and quite the sponge when it comes to everything, so I thought I would share her latest words of wisdom:

• A few nights ago I had the news on, and they flashed a picture of Casey Anthony on the screen. RP looks at me and said, "Mommy, she a mean yady." My response, "Yes RP, she is a mean lady who did some very bad things." RP then looked at me and replied, "She need go to jail Mommy. She BAD." Now, I'm not sure how RP knew ANY of this, but if a three-year old can see this, why couldn't the jury???


• Getting into the car the other day for gymnastics RP knocked over her Minnie Mouse doll that she had been playing with earlier and left in the car. Without batting an eye she cries, "OH CRAPPPPP!!!" and looks at me with utter disgust that she has to retrieve the doll from under the seat. Yeah, I'll take the blame for that one.


• Yesterday I laid RP down for her nap and headed downstairs to read my new book from the library while she napped. I heard faint moaning from her room a few minutes later, which got louder and louder over the next 90 seconds. The moans then turned into faint little cries of, "Mommy... Mommy..." Before I could respond RP jumps off her bed (I could hear the "thump"), runs into the loft, and peers down at me in the family room. When I ask her why she isn't taking her nap she responds with, "Because I broke me leg Mommy. Can you fix it?" I laughed to myself, put my book down, and met her at the top of the stairs. When I asked her WHICH leg was broken, she had to think for a minute before pointing down at one leg and smiling at me. I ended up having to kiss BOTH shins and knees before they were "fixed" and she could return to bed. Can we say "drama queen?"


• Today while waiting for Papa to pick her up for a day with Nana and Papa RP was driving her pink car around the living room and kitchen. She became agitated with "traffic" and started slamming on the horn of the car, screaming, "OUTTA MY WAY PEOPLE. OUTTA. MY. WAYYYYY!!!" Guess Mommy needs to work on her road-rage coping skills.

I'm sure there are other "gems" that I have forgotten to share, but you get the idea. I hope she never loses her zest for life, her ability to laugh and have a good time, and her uncanny ability to remember everything and learn new things very quickly. That being said, I really hope she decides NOT to share any of these gems with the kids at school... or her teachers!!

Tempermental threes

Let me start by saying this - whomever coined the phrase "terrible two's" clearly had not yet met a three-year old. RP had her moments during the "terrible two's," but I'd take those days over what I am coining the "temperamental three's." Yesterday is a perfect example of WHY.

I had been dying to take RP to the movie theater for her first official movie, so I was delighted to see that Disney had released a new Winnie the Pooh movie, which looked to be PERFECT for the occasion. We got ready and headed over to the theater, and after purchasing the pre-requisite movie theater snacks, we headed into the theater itself. It was already dark in there, and RP wasn't too keen on walking into a big, loud, dark room (they were already playing some of the previews when we got there) but she put on a brave face and went in. We found seats, I gave RP her M&M's, and we sat back to wait for the show to begin.

RP loved the movie and did a great job throughout. A couple of times she got antsy and wanted to sit on my lap, and she made a few comments out loud, but for the most part she really couldn't have been better behaved. When the show was over, we left and I asked RP if she was okay with me heading into one of the department stores (the movie theater is attached to the mall) and she was actually excited about being out and about and getting to walk through the mall.

Along the way we came across a play area that has the little motorized cars that you can sit in and they rock back and forth. I dug three quarters out of my purse (highway robbery in my opinion, but oh well!) and RP proceeded to enjoy her ride in the large pink ice cream truck vehicle she had chosen to check out. After the ride was over she naturally wanted to do it again, and I promised that if she was a good girl in the store we could ride it again when we came out.

Needless to say, RP was NOT a very happy camper about this, and proceeded to let me know throughout the entire store. She tugged on her monkey, whined about stopping to look at stuff, and asked me repeatedly if she could go on the car now. Ugh. When we didn't leave right away she started to cry, and I could see a major temper tantrum brewing and tried to cut it off at the pass, but no matter what I said it seemed to only add fuel to the fire and she soon erupted into full fledged crying, screaming, and stomping her feet. Threats that if she kept it up there would be no car didn't work as she was too worked up to listen, so I picked her up and proceeded to carry her through the store, her screams and cries getting louder and louder.

When we walked past the cars that she was so desperate to ride again she literally started to claw at my shoulder, kick and produce blood-curdling screams at the top of her lungs, letting everyone in the mall KNOW that she was mad and wanted to ride the cars. Thank god I was carrying her because I have no doubt she would have ripped the monkey backpack off her back in an effort to get back to the cars, but I was none too happy about the display she was putting on, especially since she was kicking me and literally screaming in my face.

That walk out of the mall was the longest of my life, but we finally made it outside, where RP declared that we were NOT going bye-bye and that she was riding the cars. Yeah, that didn't happen and she walked to the car (by this point I had to put her down - my arms were killing me from hanging on to her during her tantrum and I was afraid I'd drop her) crying and begging me to go back inside. This lasted all the way home - yes, all the way home in the car, which was also the longest car ride I've ever taken - until I put her in bed, removed every toy and book from her vicinity, and let her know that she needed to take a nap and reset herself before there were more consequences than losing toys and books from her bed. Thank GOD she woke up in a much better mood, but still having some issues with the day.

The kicker of the entire day? When my beautiful little girl, who had to be reminded several times during dinner what it meant to be a good girl at the dinner table, looked at me and asked, "Mommy, why you so grumpy today?" Really, RP" Really? **sigh**

Sage advice from a three year old

As RP is getting older, she is becoming more and more aware of how words and actions can impact how someone feels. Okay, so maybe Mommy is helping to drive this, but I have to say that she is a really good listener when it comes to talking about feelings, and today she proved HOW MUCH she has been listening. Today alone, RP "reminded" me of the following "rules:"

1.) While we were eating breakfast I had turned Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on and RP watched intently, even though she had seen the episode at least 50 times. There came a part when Donald Duck got angry about something and said, "Ohhhh phooey!" I laughed and said to RP, "Oh no, Donald is mad. We don't say 'Oh phooey,' do we?" RP very solemnly looked at me and replied, "No Mommy. That is naughty. We don't say, "F---" either." And yes, she said the word, the whole word.

2.) While changing RP's pull-up I remarked that her "diaper was stinky." RP laughed and said, "Mommy stinky!" No, this did NOT make me happy, so I reminded her that we do not say that people are stinky as it can hurt their feelings (clearly we've had this conversation before - I cannot WAIT for her to actually poop on the potty!). RP thought about it for a minute, then told me, "No Mommy, we don't say people are stinky and we don't say, 'Go away!' to them because it will hurt their feelings. We don't hit people. We don't bite. We need to be friends." Pretty much sums it up, don't you think?

3.) While getting ready for bed tonight I told RP that I loved her. She threw her arms around me and told me that she loved me too, then proceeded to ask me when I was going to bed. I let her know that I still had work to do around the house and that I would be going to bed much later than her. She looked sad for a minute then told me that I worked too hard, and that I needed to let her help me so I could go to bed too, because I went to bed entirely too late every night. Even I went, "Awwww...." at that one...

Can't Smile Without You!

Lately RP has become incredibly creative in her attempts to NOT go to bed at night. Sure, she still tries the "Mommy, I have a stinky diaper" (I swear she waits until she is IN the diaper to do this, just so she has a reason to call me upstairs at night!) and the "I need a 'nuggle," but as she has gotten older, and as the sun is out longer at night, she has become very adept at keeping herself entertained, literally for HOURS past her bedtime.

Case in point: Last night I came upstairs about 30 minutes after putting RP to bed to change her night-time pull-up. Five minutes after that, and right before I was headed back downstairs, she needed a snuggle, and I gladly complied. An HOUR later I heard her up in her room, happily "reading" to herself, and I yelled up the stairs that she needed to get to bed... now. After about five minutes of silence, I heard a little voice singing "Little Bo Peep" in her room, which was then followed by "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "ABC's." It was cute and I chuckled quietly, all the while getting ready to come upstairs and let RP know that it was time to get back to bed once and for all, when she appeared at the gate in her doorway and began singing Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You" at the top of her lungs.

Yep - I laughed out loud. I have to say that she got about 75% of the words right and she was singing it with all the emotion her little body could muster at 9:00 at night. I'm a huge Manilow fan and just went with my BFF last weekend out to Vegas to see his show, so the timing of her little concert couldn't have been more perfect. I have been singing this song to her since she came home, and it is actually in one of the montage videos I put together of our first year as a family, so it makes my heart happy that this song is obviously one that brings joy to her little heart as well.

Now, if I could only get that joyful heart to go to bed in the evenings!!!

Catching up with RP

It's been a while since I've posted, which should be some indication of how busy (or at least crazy!) things have been around here lately. RP is now half-way through her first session in gymnastics and she absolutely loves it. Some days she does better than others in the class, but she always seems to have a ball and is still pretty fearless about tackling new activities. MY heart cringes when she jumps up on the balance beam or tries to do a cartwheel by herself, but she throws her all into each activity and always comes out of class smiling!

Last weekend RP spent the weekend with Nana and Papa so I could make a quick, 36-hour trip to Vegas with her godmother (and my best friend!) to celebrate our 40th birthdays, along with a host of other good news each of us has had over the last two years (RP's adoption for me, and no HD for her - life is GOOD!). I missed her while I was gone but she had a blast with Nana and Papa and was a little chatter bug on the phone each time I called. I came back from Vegas just in time to celebrate Independence Day with RP, Nana, and Papa and we had a great day - squirt gun fights during the day and watching the fireworks that night. Given RP's new-found fear of dinosaurs (and some evenings the dark) I was a little concerned that she wouldn't like the fireworks, but she loved staying up late and being out in the dark, and she "oohhh'd" and "aaahhh'd" like an old pro during the display, falling asleep mid-sentence 7 minutes after getting in the car!

The last few days RP has been out-of-pocket of sorts for a variety of reasons, and I'm not really sure why. Whenever she doesn't get her way she starts to jump up and down, "fake" cry, and flail her arms about, getting louder and louder if you let her. She KNOWS that this behavior is unacceptable, she KNOWS that it isn't going to work, and she KNOWS that the only purpose this display can achieve is to get her into trouble... yet she does it anyway. Luckily these attempts have only been half-hearted, more to get attention than anything else, and she stops when she knows Mommy isn't happy with it, but yet the next time she hears the word "no" she tries it again. Weird... and hopefully a stage we'll soon be through.

Things that make you go, "Hmmm..."

Today was just a typical Wednesday - get up and let the puppies outside to go potty, get RP out of bed and started on her day, then hurry, hurry, hurry to make it to pre-school on time since every road between our house and the pre-school seems to be under summertime construction.

RP had a blast today at pre-school. All summer they are doing day camp activities, and every Wednesday in June is "Water Day" for her class, which is her favorite thing to do. I'm not exactly sure what "Water Day" entails, but what I do know is that every time I go to pick her up after "Water Day," she is the wettest child in the room (they change into bathing suits for water time, then back into their regular clothes for the rest of the day) and she is sporting the biggest grin. Her teacher also is laughing each time, telling me that while RP is the youngest and smallest child in the room, when they pull the bathing suits out for the kids my child practically dives over everyone else to get ready, is the first one out the door, and is the first one who is soaking wet from head to toe - literally. Hmmm... perhaps we should have started with swimming lessons for her and not gymnastics...

After pre-school I took RP to the bank where she had her first interaction with the change counter (which she loved), made her first deposit into her savings account (which I loved!), and got her first sucker from the teller (again, which she loved). After popping her into the van to enjoy her sucker and a brief ride home, she promptly fell asleep right after finishing the sucker, and was sleeping so soundly that she barely budged when I removed her "Minnie's" and replaced them with a pull-up since she still isn't quite potty-trained while she is sleeping. "Water Day" certainly wore her out, because she slept for almost two hours, which these days is almost unheard of for her.

After her nap I told RP that we could go outside and play and that I would set up her "big blue whale" sprinkler for her to play in, and with that I changed her back into the swimsuit that she had worn at school that day (which literally had just finished drying on the patio - what great timing!). Despite the fact that she told me that she only wanted to play in the sandbox, she got great use out of the swimsuit as she ran back and forth between the water and the sand. Hmmm... good thing I didn't listen to those protests about putting the swimsuit on.

RP has been doing really well with potty-training lately but had an "accident" today as we were heading outside to play. She told me that she pottied in her swimmie diaper (actually swimmie pull-up, but diaper is much easier to type, hence the reference to "diaper" throughout the rest of this story...) because she was just too busy getting her shoes on to go outside that she didn't feel she needed to go and sit on the potty. Needless to say Mommy wasn't too happy because I discovered that swimmie diapers don't really hold the same as regular pull-ups do and as such RP had to sit inside and wait an extra 10 minutes before heading outside to play. Nope - NOT a happy camper, but she sucked it up and waited (im)patiently for the 10 minutes to lapse, then ran outside like a crazy person.

The relevance of that last part of the story? After RP was soaked head to toe, and covered in sand, she told me she had to go potty. Hmmm... traipse all through the house in that condition? Mommy just cleaned up one mess, and is not feeling like cleaning up another, so I told her to just go ahead and wet the diaper. You would think this child won the lottery - her whole face lit up and she screamed "T'ank you Mommy!" as she patted my cheek and gave me a huge kiss. Now, between standing under the sprinkler for a long time and wetting in the diaper this diaper was now about hanging down to her knees and she was literally waddling through the backyard yelling, "Help me Mommy! Help me!" to the point I was in tears laughing. We had to find a secluded spot in the yard where I could pull her suit back and flip the diaper inside out, then right side in again. The relief on her face was priceless, as was the fact that every 20 minutes or so she told me she had to pee-pee in her diaper as she proceeded to squat in the middle of the yard, laughing the entire time. Considering the child has a bladder of steel and pretty much only sits on the potty 3-4 times a day, this was a lot of drama and fun for her but I'm 99.98% convinced that she wasn't doing anything but pretending - and having a lot of fun at that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know - not the greatest mothering move I could have made, especially since she got in trouble for doing exactly the same thing earlier in the day, but I'm pretty sure that she isn't scarred for life because of it, and she had fun with the drama of it all. The look on her face when told she could go potty in the swimmie diaper was almost as priceless as the look on her face today when I set up the Cinderella tent that she got for her birthday (which I almost forgot that we had) and gave her the baking set for the sandbox that she got for her birthday (which I DID forget that we had - it was still sitting in the garage in the original bag!). Her squeals of delight and the "T'ANKS MOMMY!" screams made my day, probably more than the toys made hers. Hmmm.....

Hopefully God has a sense of humor

Today I decided to take RP to the 7 p.m. Mass. Yesterday was eventful in that things with my next door neighbors finally came to a head, and I was a basket case, with RP doing everything in her power to stay up late and "help" the situation (which, cutely enough, warranted her "reading" to me from her Big Book of Animals). I have been woefully remiss in attending Mass regularly and knew that RP and I needed to get our butts to church, so this seemed to be the perfect solution.

All in all we had a great day today - a nice long walk through the forest preserve this morning, followed by some highly anticipated fun with Play-Doh, lunch, and a brief nap - which was followed by a great dinner with Nana and Papa, and Mass with Nana. I knew that going to church later in the evening would pose a risk for RP - she is normally in bed at 7 p.m., although most nights she doesn't actually fall asleep until close to 9 - but I was willing to take it.

I have to say that for the most part she was very well behaved in church, especially considering they didn't have the "Crying Room" open and we had to sit in what I affectionately call "General Population." She was fascinated with the Mass books/hymnals and flipped through page after page. She loved saying "Amen" with everyone every time she heard it, and was interested in watching the priest and everything going on during the Mass.

That being said, two things about Mass tonight stand out for me. First, RP also LOVES to sing. It doesn't matter if she knows the words, she just makes up her own and sings her little heart out, no matter what genre the song. The more she likes it, the louder she sings. From the sounds of things tonight, she LOVED "Joyful, Joyful," which was the closing song for Mass. She LOVED that song a LOT, and sang it loudly. VERY loudly. Off-key, wrong words, and all. Have I mentioned how LOUD she was? It wasn't even being naughty for the sake of being naughty loud either - it was a genuine "I want to sing with the rest of you because this is a cool song" type of singing, coming from her heart. I almost bit my tongue off trying not to laugh, and Nana wasn't so lucky - she was shaking and crying from laughing so hard at the poor kid (although I'm not sure others around us felt the same way!).

The second memorable event at Mass tonight was RP insisting that she needed to "eat" in line with everyone else - i.e., take Communion. She tried to run away from me to the priest when she saw him handing out Communion, her little hand up in the air like everyone else's, ready to receive the host. Luckily I grabbed her and folded her arms across her chest for the blessing, then took Communion of my own. When she realized that no host was forthcoming for her, she stopped dead in her tracks, looked up at the Eucharistic Minister, and cried, "HEY!!!" Yep, I hustled her little tushie back down the aisle as fast as our legs would carry us, then tried to explain to a three-year old that she couldn't have Communion yet, and that it would be a very special celebration on the day she finally could. When that didn't work, I gave her some yogurt-melts, which seemed to do the trick. Ahhh...

Our adventure at Church tonight ended when we all got in the car, Nana and I still chuckling over RP's rendition of "Joyful, Joyful." As we waited in line with all the other cars to leave the parking lot, a tiny voice perked up from the back seat and cried out, "Let's GO people!" Nana and I busted out laughing, as we both knew all too well exactly where she got THAT from, and Nana remarked, "Yep - she does spend WAY too much time with you!" Yes Nana, that's true - she is truly a chip off the old block!

Fight or flight...

Today was unseasonably chilly for June in this part of the country, and while we never got any rain today, it looked ominous to say the least all day long. RP let me sleep in this morning, after waking me up at 2:15 a.m. for a random " 'nuggle," and then again at 6 a.m. when she thought the sun should be up (luckily I convinced her that since the sun was still sleeping, and Mickey Mouse wasn't on TV yet, she should go back to bed - she must have been tired too because I didn't see her again, or hear her playing in her room, for another 2 1/2 hours!). Since it was cold and crappy out, I struggled with what we would do today, then decided that after a leisurely morning of cleaning the kitchen I would surprise RP with a trip to the carnival portion of our local "Taste of ---."

I told RP to grab her shoes and sweatshirt and that Mommy had a surprise for her, and after she convinced me that our trip to the gas station was just NOT a surprise meant for her (smart girl!), she was beside herself excited when she saw all the rides and what she thought was a blow-up jumpie as we pulled into the parking lot. She could hardly contain her excitement as she pulled on my hand and practically ran to the gate of the carnival, jammering excitedly on about going on the jumpie (which wasn't there, but hold that thought) and seeing everything else she could.

That ALL changed about 15 steps into the carnival. RP discovered that the giant gorilla she had seen from the back was just a big blow-up "monkey" - not a jumpie after all, and needless to say she was disappointed. However, nothing could prepare either of us for her reaction when she saw the blow-up that was 20 feet away from the gorilla - a giant, inflatable, red T-Rex dinosaur with huge teeth. My normally fearless child took one look at that balloon and came unhinged. She started screaming and crying that she did NOT like the dinosaur and that she wanted to go home - now. I remembered that a few weeks ago they had a Dino Jump at school and the teacher told me that she was afraid of it until she got closer and got to go IN the Dino Jump, after which time they had a hard time getting her out, so I tried to use the same tactics. I showed her that it was just a "balloon" and that it was tied down - it wasn't going anywhere, it wasn't real, and it wasn't going to get her. She shook her head at me as I carried her closer and closer, and then refused to look at it, crying the whole time.

I tried another tactic. I hid her head in my shoulder as we moved into the carnival area and tried to show her all the rides she could ride - the merry-go-round, the choo-choo train, etc. Everything she normally would have LOVED and begged me to ride over and over and over. Nothing. She kept glancing back toward the dinosaur and begging me to leave. When I put her down so that we could talk it over again, the child literally BOLTED away from me - thank goodness for her monkey harness that I had wisely put on her before we left the van! She was screaming and crying, and literally running for her life, with me in tow not three feet behind her! When we finally got to a fence, I picked her up again and she was shaking and crying, sobbing that the dinosaur was going to get her and that she wanted to go home - now.

Needless to say we left, although I did try to ply her with carnival games where she won her first two stuffed animal prizes ever (we, however, came home with THREE new stuffed animals because one of the carnies felt so sorry for how pitiful she looked crying and carrying on that he threw in an extra one to try to make her feel better - what a nice guy!) but nothing dissuaded her from leaving. We went out to lunch afterward, and all through lunch she kept asking me where the dinosaur was now and was it going to get her. I must have convinced her that the dinosaur wasn't coming anywhere near her, because she finally seemed to relax and stopped asking about the dinosaur, enjoying her lunch and the ice cream that followed.

As "Plan B" for the day we visited the local library for the first time ever, and RP now has her very own library card! She had a BALL in the library (I'm not sure if it was all the books, or her ability to incessantly tell me to "Shhhh" in the library every time I tried to tell her something!) and came home with SIX books, all of which we HAD to read immediately. I am so happy that she has a love of reading already and had such a great time at the library, especially since the day really didn't pan out as I had anticipated, although I now see at least weekly, if not bi-weekly trips, to the library in our near future as she gobbles up all the books she can off those shelves!

I honestly don't know what prompted her recent fear of dinosaurs, or her violent reaction to seeing it today. When I asked her where she was running to when she tried to take off on me, she looked at me like I was an idiot and said simply, "Home, Mommy. I needed to go home." She didn't seem to know, or care, that I was running behind her at the time - all her little body and mind knew was that she needed to get back to the safety of her home and away from that dinosaur, and I anticipate that we will have several more dinosaur-related discussions here in the near future.

Whew - for a slow-starting day, what an eventful Friday it turned out to be!!!

Sassy pants

I have to say that overall today RP was in a great mood, and was fairly well behaved. She showed up in my room before the crack of dawn this morning, and considering I was up until 2 a.m. starting to clean out drawers in my bedroom dressers (I have been watching too many episodes of "Hoarders" lately and feel compelled to get rid of crap around here and decided to go with some "low-hanging fruit" if you will...) I was none to thrilled with this, and sent her back to her room to go back to bed. She re-appeared a couple of hours later, big grin on her face, letting me know that the sun was now out and that she NEEDED to watch Mickey Mouse (who knew he was on at 8 a.m.? Not this chick!), so I flipped my TV on to the Disney Channel and got about 45 more minutes of sleep while she was in her Disney-coma.

She fell asleep around 11:30 a.m., which was only a problem because we were on our way to get her hair cut - with an 11:45 a.m. appointment - so I had to wake her up once we got to the salon, but once again she woke with a huge grin and was very good for Miss H to trim her hair. After being such a good girl, I decided that we should go and get pizza for lunch, and again - well behaved in the restaurant and listened very well to Mommy. This should have all clued me in...

... that things were NOT going to stay the same. Fast forward to nap time, when I had to YELL up the stairs not once but twice that she needed to lay down and take her nap. Two hours later she emerged from her room, telling me she REALLY needed that nap (and yes, Mommy did too!). At dinner, however, RP decided that she was "large and in-charge" and became all sorts of sassy for reasons unknown to anyone but her. After several requests from me to stop kicking the table, and a final ultimatum that if she continued she was DONE with dinner, she looked right at me and kicked away - again. I grabbed her plate, dumped the food in the garbage, and wiped her hands and face up, telling her she was done with her meal. She started in on a "mini-tantrum" - sitting on the floor crying (noise that got progressively louder, but no tears) and stomping her feet, especially when she learned that no dinner meant no dessert. I told her that if she kept getting louder and stomping she was going to spend some time in the "Naughty Corner" but to no avail, so she got to spend the longest three minutes of MY life in the "Naughty Corner" while I tried to finish my dinner and not bust out laughing at the drama (it was laugh or be ridiculously mad - I chose to find the drama funny, which is not always the case. Go figure.). After her "release" from the naughty corner she came up to me, apologized, and then merrily went on her way, playing with a small beach ball she got at daycare.

Playing with the beach ball was fun UNTIL she whipped it at the dog's head. Yes, on purpose. Yes, after I told her several times to be careful with the ball in the house and absolutely NOT to throw it at either of the dogs, Mommy, OR the TV. You guessed it - the ball went into a 10-minute time out, so more drama. Ugh. This is turning out to be one long day.

After the ball drama, I asked RP if she wanted to talk to Nana. She was upset the night before that she didn't get to talk to her, and I had promised her that she could, and she was excited to talk on the land line, because for some reason she felt that this required standing on her princess step stool to do so, which is always great fun! I called Nana and Papa, and she talked to Papa first. I ignored her the first time she turned around to me and said, "Quiet - I am on the phone," and she proceeded to tell Papa all about not getting to finish her dinner because she was naughty. I ignored her when she got on the phone with Nana and proceeded to turn around and say, "Shhh - I am ON the phone," but I was more annoyed than the first time she said it (and, if I were to need a defense, I hadn't uttered a peep during either of her conversations at this point - she was totally mimicking me when I am on the phone and she feels the need to interrupt). When Mommy finally lost her patience was when I told her she needed to say good-byes and "I love you's" to Nana and she whipped her little head around, looked me dead in the eye with a completely annoyed look on her face, and shouted in MY face, "I AM ON THE PHONE - BE. QUIET!!!!!!!" Yeah, that didn't go so well... for her. Back to the "Naughty Corner" and I got to explain to Nana what that was all about.

After RP spent her time in the "Naughty Corner" for being sassy we discussed her sassiness and tone of voice. Hopefully she now has a more "full" understanding of why she got in trouble and how she is NOT to talk to me any more. If not, she is going to be spending lots more time in that "Naughty Corner," and Mommy is going to need to invest in more Advil...

Out of the blue...

Last night was a pretty crazy night for RP and I. I knew that there were storm watches in the area, but lo and behold some weird storm popped up and wreaked havoc on our entire area, and the storm predictions were so bad that I corralled the cat, puppies, RP, and myself and headed to the basement to ride it out. I've been in this house for over seven years now and this is only the second time I've ever had to do that, so it's a bit unsettling for me.

That being said, I really tried to stay calm and have RP think that it was this was no big deal - the weather outside was getting nasty and that when sirens go off like that the safest place for us is in the basement. Turns out, I needn't have worried - she LOVED the entire experience. Was it the fact that she got to stay up past her bedtime? Could be. Was it that she still has toys in the basement from when I moved them there before her birthday party in April and she got to play with "new stuff?" Quite possibly. It could be those, and any number of other factors, I'll never really know.

What sticks out for me in the experience is what she said to me in the midst of the storm. I was sitting on the floor listening to "The Weather Channel" and watching her play on her Sit 'n Spin, when out of the blue she comes running over to me with a big grin on her face, throws her arms around my neck and gives me the biggest hug ever. She looked into my eyes and said, "I don't want any other Mommy ever Momma - I just want you forever and 'eva and 'eva and 'eva. She then kissed me on the cheek, hugged me again, then ran back to her Sit 'n Spin.

I choked up at this, because while it's cute and utterly sweet and adorable, I know where this comment came from. A couple of weeks ago RP was having a particularly "rough" afternoon. She refused to listen and cooperate and spent a bit of time in the "Naughty Corner" in her room, which seemed to be of no help whatsoever. Exasperated with her tantrums and naughtiness, I finally said to her, "RP, I'm not sure what the problem is today, but you definitely don't seem happy to be here with Mommy. You have been out of pocket all day and it's frustrating for both of us - perhaps you would like to go live with another Mommy, since you don't seem happy with anything I say or do. Is that what you would like?" Her response at that point was an emphatic, "Yes Mommy." I was crushed, and asked her again, "So, you'd like a new Mommy - is that what you're telling me?" Her response again was, "Yes Mommy - you are mean. I need a new Mommy." Yep - crushed.

I remember a similar situation with my own mom as a child (although I believe I was a bit older than RP at the time) and my mom actually packed a bag and brought it to the stairs for me, telling me I could go at any time, and those were the things I could take. I tried a similar tactic with RP, taking her to her room, pulling out her pink travel bag, and telling her she could take whatever fit in that bag to find her new Mommy, but that everything else, including the puppies, was staying here. I'll admit to being choked up during the entire process, and at first she cheerfully went about putting toys and books in the bag - until she realized that I would NOT be going with her. THEN the waterworks started, along with cries of, "No, no Mommy - me no go. Me no go!!!" We sat down and had a long talk about what it meant to be a family and how respect in the family works, and I left it at that (well, that and telling her she had to put all her stuff away if she was truly staying), and we hadn't talked about it since. Apparently SHE still remembers the conversation and wanted to reiterate for me that she has no intention of going anywhere and that I'm the Mommy for her.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love that little munchkin?

Happy Father's Day!

Sometimes I go into Father's Day weekend with a twinge - I love celebrating my dad and all he has done for me, but it makes me somewhat sad that RP doesn't have that same thing in her life. I am EXTREMELY lucky that she has a great group of men in her life to act as role models, and she loves them all dearly - her Papa (of course), her "Uncle Crick," and her godfather, "Uncle Cake" (what can I say, we're still working on language development - they know who they are!). She knows who Daddy's "are," and can identify them in a television program or in a book, but she has never asked why she doesn't have one, but I'm sure that day is coming. As it is, last Thursday RP told me that we NEEDED to have a baby at home - baby brother or sister, it didn't matter - then an hour later told me that she did NOT want a baby at home and that she liked being an only child. Whew - sidestepped a landmine on that one!

Today I give thanks to everyone in my life who has made being a single mom easier, both for me and for RP, and especially all you special guys who love RP like your own and make her feel warm, secure, and special - both she and I are eternally grateful for your love and support!

Catching up...

It's been a while since I've posted, and for good reason. RP and I took our first official "road trip" to visit relatives in another state, about 6 hours away. I have to say that I was dreading the prospect of spending six hours in the car with RP, only because while she does well on 1-2 hour trips, this is WAY longer than she's ever had to spend in the car, and I wasn't sure how she'd do. I'm pleasantly pleased to announce that she did FANTASTIC - the only "glitch" we ran into is that about 20 minutes from our destination she lost her mind in the back seat and started crying and screaming that her tummy hurt and she needed to get out... now. Yes, I thought she was going to get car sick and yes, those were the LONGEST 20 minutes of my life, but we made it, she DIDN'T get sick, and we both had a blast - me visiting relatives I haven't seen in almost 6 years, and she meeting those relatives for the first time.

RP also started gymnastics class last week, so once a week she now attends gymnastics in addition to being in pre-school once a week. I am thankful right now that I am a SAHM because there is a LOT of running around that has been happening recently, and I have to say that while I'm looking forward to gainful employment (or school) in the near future, I am enjoying the here and now. RP is doing well in gymnastics and seems to enjoy it immensely, and unlike last week when she bolted for the middle of the gym, today she stayed with the group despite being tired and crabby for part of the class (our idiot neighbors are doing construction in their basement and have a knack for not starting the hammering until she is almost asleep, which has made for some long nights when they repeatedly wake her up with all their noise!).

It also seems, to me anyway, that RP's speech is getting better by the day. This could be because I am spending so much time with her that I just understand her more, but I think it's getting more clear and coherent every day, which is one less worry for me. She still sounds really garbled when she's being silly and playing, or when she is super-excited about something, but for the most part she is getting more and more understandable and using a bigger vocabulary each and every day (the new word of the day: disgusting. Previous word of the day: "idiot," as in "what are those idiots doing NOW Mommy?" Yes, I need to stop calling the neighbors idiots.).

I am also happy to announce that RP has FINALLY learned to pedal a bike! We stopped off at her cousins' on the way home from our road trip and my brother had a tiny Power Wheels that she could finally reach the pedals on, and after a few false starts she was off and running with the rest of the crew - riding bikes like champs! Sunday I found a tiny Radio Flyer tricycle that she can reach the pedals on as well, and now all she wants to do is "ride, ride, ride!" her bike. She is so proud of herself for being able to ride a bike like the rest of the kids her age, and that smile and sense of accomplishment more than makes up for the monetary cost of the bike. I had to laugh, though, when I put her new bike in the garage next to her Barbie Power Wheels ATV and her Barbie Hot Wheels (the one she can only ride like Fred Flintstone since she still can't reach the pedals on that one yet!) - every bike she has is pink and purple!!! Good thing I have a two-car garage because with her collection of vehicles she needs that space to park all of HER vehicles in!

Laying on the guilt...

I had to work for a few hours yesterday, so Papa came and picked RP up to spend the day with he and Nana. This worked out nicely because Papa and I were going to a NASCAR race last night, and RP and I, along with the puppies, were planning on spending the night at Nana and Papa's anyway. After work, I raced home to grab all our stuff (it is still AMAZING to me how much stuff I need to pack just to spend the night away from home anymore. I carried no less than three bags of stuff with me for one night, when two years ago I packed a roll-on pilot case which I carried on the plane, and that was for my class at Disney Institute, six days in Orlando, FL!). Anyhoo...

RP was still sleeping when I got there (taking her nap), and apparently had been a bit grumpy all morning long. This was no surprise since I had to wake her up in the morning to get going, and she was still exhausted from a fun day of playing outside the day before. She napped for almost three hours before I woke her up, and even then she had a hard time waking up, preferring to stay cuddled in my lap, eyes half closed and thumb in her mouth for almost a half hour, which for her is a new all-time record. Storms blew in and Papa and I were getting ready to leave, and when RP realized she wasn't coming to the races with us, she was clearly not happy, despite the fact that Nana had a fun evening planned for the two of them. Our discussion about staying home went something like this:

Me: "RP, remember that we talked about tonight - Papa and I are going to go to the racetrack to see the race cars. You are going to stay here and have fun with Nana!"

RP: "No Mommy, me go with you." (Hugs tighter)

Me: "No honey, only Papa and I are going to go. You can watch the beginning on TV and see if you can find Papa and I in the crowd - how 'bout that?!"

RP: "No Mommy, me go with you. I sit on your lap." (Add to this the big brown eyes looking up at me, pleading with me to let her go too - ugh, it's too much!)

Me: "Honey, I would love for you to come and sit on my lap, but we only have two tickets - one for Papa, and one for Mommy. I didn't think you'd want to go, so we didn't get you a ticket this time." (I forgot the cardinal rule - never EVER try to rationalize with a three-year old)

RP: "Mommy, me buy a ticket with me own money. Then me can go with you, otay?" (Add even BIGGER, more pleading brown eyes, and you have one big o'le mess of a Mommy!)

I held and rocked RP for a while longer until she was fully awake and suddenly became interested in running around and playing with her toys. I left with Papa about an hour later for the race, but felt like the Worst Mom in the World, for the second time in as many weeks. At least I can find comfort in the fact that she and Nana had a great "girls-night" last night and RP seemed to forget all about it this morning. She may have, but I haven't - point taken, RP. Point taken.

Let the summertime fun begin!

It appears that FINALLY the weather has broken and we are headed straight for summer from winter weather. I'm not sure whatever happened to spring in the Midwest, but summer is my favorite season so I'll take it anytime I can get it. Considering that about a week ago I still had the HEAT on, and literally switched one day from heat to A/C the next, it's still hard to get used to.

I had to work today, so RP went to Nana and Papa's as usual. It hit a record high of 90 degrees here today, and tomorrow is looking like more of the same, so I brought RP's water table and bike to Nana and Papa's last night when I picked her up, and additionally bought them a cute little ladybug sprinkler for RP to use while she was there, since for some reason her swimming pool from last year seems to be missing. When I got to Nana and Papa's this afternoon, they were all sitting on the back patio and were laughing and having a good old time - with RP holding down court as usual.

I had to laugh last year when one of my friends called RP my "little Bohemian" because she spent almost every weekend in a bathing suit, and it looks like this year will be more of the same. She has a suit for school (water days are popular in the summer there, and it's just easier to have one for school than remembering to check the calendar as we're dashing out the door and packing a bag to bring!), a suit for Nana and Papa's, and two for home. True to form, she was decked out in her bathing suit, soaked from head to toe when I got to Nana and Papa's and she was in such a "playing outside" frenzy that I'm not sure she saw me at first! Apparently RP, Nana, and Papa had been playing outside in the 90 degree heat for at least 90 minutes before I got there, and RP was a flurry of activity - she rode her bike, ran through the sprinkler, played soccer with Papa, splashed in the water table, THEN splashed all over Nana and Papa, etc. etc. etc. Even after I got there, it took another 10 minutes to get her inside and dried off.

RP was being her normal, wiggly, silly little self while I was trying to get her dried and dressed, and in the spirit of being silly, she giggled at me, "I gonna GET you Mommy!" I laughed and said, "Oh really, RP? Oh really?" Then yes, she got me all right. She leaned over and BIT me on the cheek. Out of the blue, just bit me, then giggled and said, "I bite you Mommy."

As you have probably already guessed, Mommy was NOT as happy as RP was. She went through a play biting phase last year, and it has resurfaced again this year. Not sure what triggers it - school, boredom, change in season, whatever - but she knows, without a shred of doubt, that we don't bite. Ever. End of discussion. While it was a play bite and didn't hurt (although, I will say this time around it did pinch a bit - EEK!), she knows there is a zero tolerance on our house for biting, hitting, scratching, etc. (you get the idea), so I informed her that she had to head to the naughty corner. The drama that unfolded from that child was Oscar worthy at that point - lots of loud crying and carrying on, with "I torry Mommy, I torry..." over and over and over, but no real tears.

After about 2 minutes in the naughty corner I turned her around and asked if she knew why she was in the naughty corner. "I torry Mommy," was the response I received. I told her I appreciated that, and knew she was sorry, but I was asking why she was in the naughty corner, and now apologizing, in the first place. "I bited you," she replied. Yep, you did kiddo and you know we don't bite, but before I could even respond my little princess proceeded to then give me a dirty look, bring her own hand to her mouth, and bite her own thumb - hard - then gave me ANOTHER dirty look as if this now made things even.

You probably guessed that this earned her ANOTHER two minutes in the naughty corner. At the end of those two minutes she apologized again, gave me a hug and a kiss, and let me finish drying her off and get her dressed without another incident. She was happy, silly, and out and out cheeky with Nana and Papa as we left, and was trying to sing along to the radio in the car, when all of a sudden it became dead quiet in the backseat. I glanced in the mirror and the poor child, who had been so tired that she put her sunglasses on upside down, had literally passed out mid-lyric in her seat. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, and the poor kid was a goner.

Ahhh - let the summertime fun begin!

"You need to listen, Mommy..."

As you may or may not have picked up from previous posts, RP and I have had several recent discussions on "listening." A hearing test a few weeks ago at school confirmed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the child's hearing, so when she doesn't do as I have asked of her (usually asked repeatedly, that is) I know it isn't because she can't hear me. It's because she is three and clearly has other things to do before fulfilling my request to stop dancing around and put on her jammies, stop playing with "that" toy and come to the table to eat a meal, or to leave the puppies alone because all three of them (RP and the two puppies that is!) are getting wild and out of control. While it's fun and often funny to watch her blossom into her own individual self, it is often frustrating to have to repeat a request again, and again, and again to get a result, and we therefore have had several discussions on what it means to "listen."

Tonight RP was in rare form. We got a late start leaving Nana and Papa's after I worked today because traffic was bad and I was hoping it would ease some if we waited an extra few minutes or so, which, before I knew it, had turned into probably an extra 30-45 minutes. When we got home RP was SO excited to help Mommy water the flowers in the front of the house with her little watering can, then we ran into my next door neighbor (no, not the loud and obnoxious one, the semi-crazy but overall very nice, and quiet, one on the other side) who talked and talked and talked, so it was very late before we came inside to make dinner. RP took almost 40 minutes to eat a small bowl of rice, some watermelon, and a slushie for dessert, and it was driving me crazy - mostly because the reason she took so long was because she was having too much fun at the table crossing her eyes so she could look at the end of her nose, and she was having even MORE fun with the fact that this sight grossed Mommy out. Completely. Ick!

I finally got RP up into the bath and then prayers said, story read, and tucked into bed for a good night's sleep. Despite RP yawning her way through the story, she fought the valiant fight to keep those big brown eyes open, and started making her usual evening requests, which she knows at this point are for naught, since we have talked (again ad nauseum) about the fact that when Mommy goes downstairs she isn't coming back up unless it's an emergency (this new "rule" was brought on after I spent one evening going up and down the stairs at least 10 times in a one hour time span - no more!!!):

" Mommy, I need more water."
" RP, you know that Mommy can't give you any more water. You had a full sippee cup which is meant to last all night long. If I give you more water you will wet through your nighttime diaper."
" Otay."

Five minutes later:
" Mommy, I have a boo-boo. Me need a nan-daid."
" RP, Mommy put a band-aid on the boo-boo on your thumb before story time. I asked you then if there were any more boo-boos and you told me no. You should be sleeping, so you shouldn't have been doing anything to get any more boo-boos, now should you have?"
" No, Mommy."

Three minutes later:
" Mommy, I need a 'nuggle."
(Ugh. This is the toughest one for me and she knows it.) "RP, Mommy gave you kisses and snuggles before she tucked you in, AND she gives you a snuggle and a kiss every night before she goes to bed. I love you very much, but Mommy cannot come up the stairs right now for a snuggle. I promise that I will give you another snuggle and kiss when I go to bed."
** crickets** No response. Then a weak little, "Otay Mommy."
(Yep, I feel like a complete jerk, and worthy of the "Worst Mommy in the World" title right about now.)

About a half hour after this exchange I headed upstairs to take a shower, and lo and behold found RP still awake in her bed. When she saw me she jumped down out of her bed, demanding her " 'nuggle," and of course I gladly complied. She snuggled into my shoulder for a full five minutes, letting me snuggle her and rock her gently while kissing her hair, which she loves. Finally she broke free of the snuggle, grabbed my face in her chubby little hands, and proceeded to tell me:

"Mommy, me needed a 'nuggle to tell you that I wuv you. I wuv you a wot, and I wanted a 'nuggle to tell you this. You need to yisten to me more Mommy - awright? Awright Mommy?" She then proceeded to kiss my cheek, throw her hands around my neck for one more giant hug, then wiggle away to climb up and snuggle back into bed. Wow.

Yes, RP I'm listening - and I "wuv" you "a wot" too. And no, next time she asks for a snuggle she will not be denied or put off for later. Point taken.

When did all this happen?

Yes, as we have determined several times over now, I have been unemployed since January. Well, I guess right now I'm employed part-time so we'll say, "unemployed/under-employed since January." As such, I have spent a great deal of time with RP, and for that I am oh-so grateful, as I know this is a rarity and like all good things, will eventually come to an end.

That being said, over the past few weeks I have noticed the following things about my child that surprise me, and that they surprise me is a surprise in and of itself:

- RP is one funny little girl. She has an amazing sense of humor, and never fails to crack herself up. I love when she throws her head back, mouth wide open, laughing hysterically, then throws a hand back to cover the wide-open mouth, now laughing because of the physical position she has put herself in. She loves to laugh, takes tickling and pillow fights very seriously, and finds anything that you find funny just down-and-out hysterical. Her belly laughs are infectious, and I have found myself these last two weeks doing everything I can to evoke more and more of them, just to hear the rumble and see her shake with glee. It's truly amazing.

- RP is one smart little girl. I didn't notice until a couple of weeks ago how many questions RP was asking already. Perhaps this is because we were in Wal-Mart and I was showing her a fiddler crab they had in the fish section and had been standing there answering questions about the crab for at least 5 minutes when a woman came up to me, pointed out all the questions, then told me that her daughter, who just graduated from medical school was the same way and how "smart" RP was already. Now granted, all the questioning sometimes drives me bonkers, but I've taken some time to really listen to her questions, as well as everything else she says, and I have to say I'm amazed at how much she remembers and how deep her questioning of things goes. It also seems that over these last two weeks she has mastered counting 1-5, is about 50% on 1-10, and today decided that we needed to add the "teens" to her counting abilities, counting as such: "eight, nine, eighteen, nineteen, fiveteen, twoteen, eighteen, nineteen, twelve!" Hey, she's three - cut her some slack! :)

- RP is creative. She doesn't need a toy in-hand all the time, or Mommy playing with her, although those certainly are her preferences. She spent over two hours tonight reading herself to sleep with her books, then proceeded to build a pillow fort in her bed - well, until I caught her and made her take it down and finally go to sleep. She sings and makes up songs and stories for everyday situations, which are funny and adorable at the same time, and she expects you to remember them as much as she does (my favorite is the "brushing my teeth" song which is exactly that - "brushing my teeth" is the ENTIRE song, but god help you if she goes to brush her teeth and you don't sing along!). She alternates between playing fairy princess with her wand from her Princess luncheon at Disney World to hostessing a tea party in the bathtub as Superman.

- RP really is the center of the world. Okay, okay - MY world anyway. I have a lot of decisions to make in a relatively short period of time here, and these decisions are WAY different now than they would have been two years ago. It isn't about me and what I want/need - it's about what's best for her. Wait a minute, what's best for her IS what I want, so I guess in a roundabout way, it still is about me, but you get the idea. I'm not sure when and how someone so tiny garnered so much control here, but she wields it, without knowing, in her little finger - Mommy is a complete goner.

There are so many things I have noticed lately - RP dressing/undressing herself without assistance, putting on shoes without needing me to do it, working on ABC's but knowing all her colors and most of her animals and numbers - that even though I've been around for it all, I've just never noticed before. Perhaps it's because now that I'm home with her, I'm taking for granted all that she is doing and saying, and I've just allowed myself the opportunity to step back, stop talking, and start listening. Perhaps it's because in this same time frame I've started back to working part-time so I notice this stuff more when I have a small break from it day in and day out. I know every parent says/thinks this about their child, and now I truly understand why, but for the record I'm going to say it too, "RP is absolutely an amazing child." And just when I think I can't love her any more than I already do, I find myself doing just that...