Rough first full day

I should have known that it was too good to be true, but today truly has been a rough day (and it's only 5:40 p.m. here!). RP slept really well, but I didn't - every little sigh and turn had me checking on her to see if she was okay, so I slept for maybe an hour total. The doctor got here around 6:20ish this morning and she did really well with him - not a peep or cry during the exam, which was pretty cursory and the doctor was really good with her. She was also pretty good while I was meeting with the coordinator filling out what I HOPE is the final set of paperwork (horray!!!), although my Mom did say that she had a bit of a meltdown while I was out, but it was easily rectified with a brisk walk around the floor.

The rest of the day, however, was pretty rough. It must be SO scary for her to be uprooted from all she has ever known and thrown into a foreign place with strange people who don't speak the language, and she is struggling. She has had several meltdowns today which range from big "fake" crying jags (no tears, just a lot of noise) to full-fledged temper tantrums, especially when she doesn't get her way. She HATES being locked up in the room (and who could blame her) and she fared halfway decent in the hotel restaurant during lunch although at the end she pitched a fit and was ready to GO, even though my mom and I were not even close to being done eating, or paying the bill.

We're working on the tantrums and getting her to understand "nyet/no" but it breaks my heart to see her cry and breaks it even more when she needs to spend some "alone time" in her crib after a tantrum (she took me by the hand and led me to her crib and pointed "up" - now she is laying in there sucking her thumb, and looking utterly pitiful). :(

How do Moms do this, and more importantly - does it get easier???

GOTCHA DAY!

So after 13 months the day FINALLY arrived that I have been waiting for since this process started!!! At approximately 12:30 p.m. today (St. Petersburg time, which is 3:30 a.m. CST) Mom and I walked out of the orphanage with RP! She cried a little when they dressed her and handed her to me, but she was pretty much an angel the rest of the time!!!

Even though it was her nap time she was enthralled with being in the van and all the cars and commotion around her, so her little eyes were as wide as saucers during the entire trek to the airport!! At the airport she was content playing with a few of her toys and taking countless walks around the terminal with Grandma or I. She was even a trooper on the plane until the last 20 minutes when she decided that she didn't want to sit anymore and pitched a royal fit! Poor little thing's ears were probably killing her too, and they told us that she had gotten sick last night so it's no wonder.

She was even pretty good in the car ride over except when she puked all over herself, me, and the brand new SUV we were riding in (I don't think the driver was too happy, but she's a baby and she really can't be the first adopted infant to get sick on the car ride in Moscow, can she?). She fussed a bit at having to take a bath (we sponge bathed her) but seemed to relax a bit after that so that she even let me lay her down on my bed while we waited for the crib to be delivered, then laid down without fuss in the crib. It took a while for her to drift off, but she's sleeping soundly now with only a few fusses along the way.

The IA doctor from the Embassy is coming tomorrow at 6 a.m. (and yes, it's already after midnight here!), then I am meeting the coordinator at 8:30 to fill out paperwork (yes, just when you thought there couldn't POSSIBLY be more papework, there is!), then we are free for the rest of the day. Friday is the Embassy visit and interview (which I found out about tonight - no one told me anything about an interview!), then we are DONE. We don't head back to the US until Sunday due to a scheduling snafu, but having a lazy day should be nice before we begin our 18-hour trek back to the states (yep - 18 hours as we are headed back through Zurich and have a 4.5 hour layover there).

I cannot thank my friends and family enough for all their support and prayers - I truly know how blessed I am and how much I owe to each of you for all you have done for me these last few years... and more. I can't wait to introduce her to all the special people in my life - YOU!!! :)

Pre-"GOTCHA-Day" preperations

Well, we are a mere hours away from "GOTCHA Day" which is what the day you finally get your child and walk out of the orphanage is referred to by those who have gone through international adoptions before. From here on out February 24 will be a very special day for me as it signifies the day that RP FINALLY became an official member of our family! I am excited and nervous all at the same time - excited that in 24-hours we will be in Moscow starting the last leg of this very long cycle, but nervous as to how RP is going to react to the coming events. She has only known life in the orphanage for her 22-months of life and this is going to be a huge change for her. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things go well but am prepared to just weather the storm if they don't and she has tantrums - what else can you do???

We are packed and ready to head to the orphanage tomorrow to pick up my "naked baby" (which is how my coordinator in St. Petersburg put it - in other words, you need to bring everything with you the child is going to need as you will get nothing from the orphanage other than the child - no clothes, shoes, diapers, toys, etc.) and her little Princess suitcase is ready for the flight to Moscow with toys and treats to hopefully keep her occupied for the hour and a half flight, so at this point all we have left to do is get a good night's sleep, a decent breakfast and lunch tomorrow, and pack the final necessities and we will be ready to head out of St. Petersburg once and for all.

Less than five days from now we'll be flying back to the US as a family and thus will start a whole new "chapter" in all of our lives. This process has been ongoing for 13-months and it's hard to believe that it's almost over - woo hoo!!!!!!!! :)

Lazy, lazy Monday

Finally we have been here for one week and are on the countdown to coming home - six days and counting!!! Due to a Russian holiday we have nothing planned for today or tomorrow so we are being very lazy today and just hanging out in the hotel, trying to decide if it's warm enough to venture down to the Cathedral of St. Isaac's to take some pictures and do a bit of sightseeing.

Yesterday I ventured off to Pushkin (not sure if that's spelled correctly) to see the tsar's summer palace with a couple who is adopting a 2 1/2 year old with EAC as well. The guide the agency provided us was magnificent and the trip was definitely worthwhile! Below are a couple of pictures, although the pictures definitely do not do it justice:

I took about 90 pictures yesterday and like I said, they really don't do the place justice (especially because they do not allow flash photography so everything above was taken without using my flash which makes it look darker than it did in person).

Less than 48 hours from now we'll be on our way to the airport to head for Moscow - woo hoo!!! This trip has been long, arduous, but well-worth it, and although the sites are amazing, I can't wait to bring RP back to the US of A! :)

Best Moment Ever - period.

Yes, that's right - I had the best moment ever today! Mom and I headed over to the orphanage at 9:30 this morning and after RP's initial crying phase (which lasts a shorter and shorter amount of time!) we had a great visit! The best part of the visit wasn't when the music teacher came in and had RP play instruments and dance for us (which I captured part on video and wish that Blogger didn't hate me so much that I could actually POST it!), it wasn't when I set her down and she immediately wanted "up" again, and it wasn't when she snuggled not only with me, but with my Mom today without fuss (yes folks, you read that right!). Nope, the best moment was when we were looking through a little photo album I brought and she pointed to a picture of me and said "Mama!" and looked up at me, so proud of herself! This is the first time we've heard her actually speak, and she wasn't prompted by anyone to name who was in the picture, so I was tickled pink that "Mama" was her first word to me!!! Yep, hanging out in the lobby of the hotel right now on cloud nine, and hoping that the progress we are starting to see continues, even though we won't see her now until next Wednesday.

Five days down, nine more to go - and I can't wait to get back to the good ole USA with my adorable daughter!!! Ahhhh......

Pictures from today:

Playing with the music teacher!

Playing with "Babushka" (aka: Grandma)

Being silly for Mama!

Update from St. Petersburg

It's been quite the whirlwind trip since I last posted. Tuesday was spent running around gathering documents and processing paperwork in order to get RP's international passport in time for us to meet our deadlines. I got to spend about 20 minutes with her on this day while the coordinator was hunting down paperwork at the orphanage, and as usual she cried, but at least was fairly easily calmed down! The good news is that ALL the paperwork went through (apparently I am the first adoption under the new guidelines in this district - lucky me!) and we are going to pick up RP's passport on Saturday.

Wednesday was a pretty quiet day - we spent about 1.5 hours at the orphanage visiting RP which was nice. She was at first fussy as she didn't want to give up her "outside" time for us, but she calmed down and had quite a good time playing with some toys we found in the room. She amazes me with how hard she concentrates and how serious she is - wow. :)

Today (Thursday) was pretty much a lazy day. Mom and I slept in, then I met the coordinator to go and get our airline tickets to Moscow, so we are now officially set! Mom and I then toured the block, ventured to a cafe for a late lunch/early dinner, then browsed the local sweet shop and market for some staples to take back to the room.

Tomorrow we get to visit RP again, which is a bonus since we didn't think we'd get to see her again until Wednesday, but it's also the LAST time we'll get to see her. :( Hopefully it's a good visit and I can get her schedule for when we leave, and get back her new favorite little shoes and book for when we leave on Wednesday. Saturday we pick up RP's new passport, and Sunday the agency has arranged for a site-seeing trip for us and a couple from Houston due to the fact that we have had to sit here due to the holiday for an extended time.

Less than a week from now she'll be out of the orphanage and we'll be in Moscow as a family - I can't wait!!!

Seriously? MORE paperwork?

Nope, that's not a typo and I'm not being sarcastic. My mom and I arrived in St. Petersburg today exhausted but excited by the prospect of what is to be. The driver picked us up and told us in broken English that we had to go to the Baby Home to drop off some paperwork. Cool, I thought - we'll get to see RP! Nope - we literally drove from the airport to the orphanage, waited out in the cold for a half hour, then drove to the hotel where the bombshell hit.

Apparently the region my orphanage is in changed its procedures for granting interational passports... TODAY. My coordinator claims no knowledge that this change was going into effect and this may have the potential to delay my gaining custody of RP and heading to Moscow next Wednesday, and finally home. I pointed out that our visas expire on the 28th and we HAVE to leave the county on that day and the coordinator told me she is doing everything she can to make sure that this all goes as planned, but she stops short of promising us that this will be resolved.

What this now means is that instead of heading to the orphanage tomorrow I get to spend the day chasing down notaries and MORE paperwork in order to beat the deadline and hopefully make the officials happy. I honestly don't know what I will do if they try to tell me I have to leave the country without my little RP, so please keep up those awesome thoughts and prayers that have gotten us this far... :(

Is this really happening?

For such a long process things seem to be happening very quickly right now. I can't believe that in less than a week I'll be back in Russia, and this time to finally bring my little RP home! It seems like everything took so long - the planning, the paperwork, the waiting, and now **BOOM** it's almost over!

Packing is proving to be a bit difficult as I realized that I not only need to pack for myself, but also everything for RP. The crib is the holding pen right now for everything I need to bring for her and it boggles my mind that someone so small can require so much "stuff." Clothes, shoes, onesies, socks, hair stuff, toys, pull-ups, books, etc. etc. etc. Those of you with kids are probably laughing because you KNOW how much stuff little people require, but I am just flabbergasted! I am honestly not sure how much of my own stuff I can pack to make sure I have enough room for her stuff AND meet the <44>

For the moment I'll keep plugging away, although I am SO ready to jump on that plane and go get my little RP right now. Since I can't, I'll channel that energy into finishing up stuff at work and preparing to be out for 2-3 months (YES!!!).

Won't be long now, right??? :)

Updates from home

First, I have to apologize to everyone for NOT being in contact since I've been home. The flight back on Wednesday was quite eventful - our plane was delayed in St. Petersburg for about a half hour due to a family trying to clear customs AND having to de-ice the plane. This put us into Frankfurt late, and we only had an hour between flights which meant that we were cutting it VERY close. You can guess what happened next - yep, we missed our flight (the killer here is that the plane was still at the gate when we got there AND the captain departed early - yep, early. Bastard.), which made me grumpy since I literally had to OJ through the airport to get to the flight in the first place. We made the next flight and were back in Chicago by early afternoon, but my sinus infection was made worse by the air pressure on the plane so I was beyond miserable when we got back. Yesterday saw a LOT of sleeping, then off to the doctor for new drugs which are amazingly enough FINALLY working, and today was spent shopping for essentials and then visiting St. Jude's to officially become a parishioner before I bring RP home (so she can be baptized).

News came today that we leave on the 14th to head back to St. Petersburg, but we don't leave to come home until the 28th. :( NOT happy about spending two whole weeks in Russia, especially since I won't get RP until the 24th - the rest of the time is spent waiting and processing paperwork. Please tell me how there can POSSIBLY be more paperwork?!?!?! I'm truly ready for the process to be over and for my little RP to be home once and for all. Looking at the bright side of things though, after 13 months we finally have an end date in sight AND I have exactly one more week of work to go before I am off for three months - woo hoo!!!

Final visit to orphanage- Trip 2

Yes, we were able to go back to the orphanage this afternoon and it was by FAR the best visit ever! Perhaps somehow Alexandra knows that this is official, a "done deal," and is excited to be part of a forever family, or maybe it was just fate, but we had a great visit with her this afternoon!

When they brought her around the corner she immediately started to cry, but honestly didn't put too much effort into the endeavor, and when we got to the playroom she started to pout, but had a death grip on my fingers and wouldn't let go! She didn't cry at ALL when we got in the playroom (a minor miracle!) and wouldn't let go of my hands the entire time! My mom gave her some goldfish crackers which she LOVED (blech - I hate those things, but what can you do?) and we gave her some more apple juice, which the translator was kind enough to capture on camera for us:

However, by far the best part of the visit was that at the end of it, when the orphanage worker came in to bring her back to her group, she started to cry and just let me cuddle and kiss her AND let Grandma snuggle on her as well. She held on for dear life and clearly wasn't ready for our visit to end, which has never happened before, and she just broke my heart when she waved good-bye to us.

Hopefully we'll be back here soon to get her AND to bring her home!!! :)

It's Official!

Yes, that's right - it IS official! The court today determined that I am "MaMa" to little Alexandra Jeanette O'Niel! I have to say that court was nothing like I imagined it would be, starting with the fact that I expected to be grilled for about an hour, but the entire proceeding was over in 15 minutes (apparently I had the good fortune of having court the exact date that they are moving everything out of their current location and into their new building - I think the judge just needed to get through all her cases in a timely fashion so they could move all the furnishings!). The judge asked me if I really was ready to be a mom, why I wanted to be a mom to THIS child, how long would I stay home with her, and who would take care of her when I went back to work. Yep - that's IT.

The baby home director and custody manager also testified that they had seen me interact with my child (yes, she was referred to as "the child" for most of the proceeding) and that although she could be "difficult" I was able to calm her down and begin the bonding process.

As happy a day as this was, it was also very sad in that I heard that she had been on the registry for a while now and offered to several Russian families, only to not have anything happen with that process. Apparently they were scared off by her medical diagnosis (which according to everything I have read and the IA doctor who reviewed her documents is really nothing to worry about) and the fact that she screams bloody murder when first introduced to strangers. Their loss is truly my gain, but it makes my heart ache for her nonetheless.

In the next few days I should get my travel information to come and pick her up to bring her home... for good. This is truly the first day of the rest of our lives and we head back to the orphanage at 3:30 for one last visit before heading home tomorrow, our last trip back WITHOUT my little RP! It's hard to believe that this process is truly almost over, at last.

Finally... :)

Update!

Of course, as I'm hitting "Enter" on my last blog entry I get the call with my court time! Think of me at three a.m. (your time - c'mon, what else would you be doing at that hour anyway?!?!) as my court appointment is scheduled to start at noon here.

Yikes - it's really happening!!! :)

Still waiting...

It is 9:12 p.m. here and I STILL don't know what time my court appointment is for tomorrow. I know the coordinator is working on it, but I'm on pins and needles waiting and trying not to stalk her for information... again. I called her around 8 p.m. and she told me that she would call me back in a few minutes with the final details as she didn't have them all yet, but I'm not sure "a few minutes" is over an hour.

The rational side of me knows that this will get resolved but the irrational side is dying to pick up the phone (okay, okay, so I'm using Skype, not the actual phone!) and demand some answers.

It can only get better, right?

Tomorrow... court!

Today we were picked up at 9:15 by the agency driver and drove trough snow and crazy-slick roads to the orphanage, where we met up with the translator who will assist me in court tomorrow. We went straight into the orphanage and after a bit found a nice, bright, BIG room to meet RP in. She, of course, was NOT happy and was brought into the room yelling and crying (poor thing!) - we could hear her coming down the hall!

The positive of the initial visit was that she let me hold her and let me comfort her - we even played with this little See 'n Say turtle I brought and some books that made noise, which kept her occupied for a bit. THEN she launched into this screaming fit which mirrored the likes of when we first met her - kicking, thrashing, the whole tantrum bit, until one of the workers came in and got her calmed down. Poor thing had the hiccups and all from all her crying! She would calm down for a bit and let me hold her, then start to cry all over again - I honestly think she was really confused and frightened, but by the end of the visit she was sitting nicely on my lap, sucking her thumb and cuddling, worn out from it all!

The translator seems to think that her behavior will change/improve in this regard once we leave the orphanage simply because she will be in unfamiliar territory as opposed to knowing what else is around her. I just hope that she continues to become more comfortable and trusting of me, as it breaks my heart to see her so upset. You may have noticed there aren't any pictures from today - which is due simply to spending so much time/energy of getting RP calmed down and comfortable that I quite frankly forgot all about the camera!

Tomorrow is court and I am REALLY nervous. The translator really didn't help any when she asked me a few questions to which I simply don't have the answer - like her exact medical diagnosis (I know MY interpretation of this diagnosis, but I don't have the "official" diagnosis - go figure!). She is meeting with me 30 minutes before the hearing tomorrow to go over everything again, and I'm spending the rest of today reviewing my documents and prep questions just to be sure. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be a Mom - and I can hardly wait!