Out of the blue...

Last night was a pretty crazy night for RP and I. I knew that there were storm watches in the area, but lo and behold some weird storm popped up and wreaked havoc on our entire area, and the storm predictions were so bad that I corralled the cat, puppies, RP, and myself and headed to the basement to ride it out. I've been in this house for over seven years now and this is only the second time I've ever had to do that, so it's a bit unsettling for me.

That being said, I really tried to stay calm and have RP think that it was this was no big deal - the weather outside was getting nasty and that when sirens go off like that the safest place for us is in the basement. Turns out, I needn't have worried - she LOVED the entire experience. Was it the fact that she got to stay up past her bedtime? Could be. Was it that she still has toys in the basement from when I moved them there before her birthday party in April and she got to play with "new stuff?" Quite possibly. It could be those, and any number of other factors, I'll never really know.

What sticks out for me in the experience is what she said to me in the midst of the storm. I was sitting on the floor listening to "The Weather Channel" and watching her play on her Sit 'n Spin, when out of the blue she comes running over to me with a big grin on her face, throws her arms around my neck and gives me the biggest hug ever. She looked into my eyes and said, "I don't want any other Mommy ever Momma - I just want you forever and 'eva and 'eva and 'eva. She then kissed me on the cheek, hugged me again, then ran back to her Sit 'n Spin.

I choked up at this, because while it's cute and utterly sweet and adorable, I know where this comment came from. A couple of weeks ago RP was having a particularly "rough" afternoon. She refused to listen and cooperate and spent a bit of time in the "Naughty Corner" in her room, which seemed to be of no help whatsoever. Exasperated with her tantrums and naughtiness, I finally said to her, "RP, I'm not sure what the problem is today, but you definitely don't seem happy to be here with Mommy. You have been out of pocket all day and it's frustrating for both of us - perhaps you would like to go live with another Mommy, since you don't seem happy with anything I say or do. Is that what you would like?" Her response at that point was an emphatic, "Yes Mommy." I was crushed, and asked her again, "So, you'd like a new Mommy - is that what you're telling me?" Her response again was, "Yes Mommy - you are mean. I need a new Mommy." Yep - crushed.

I remember a similar situation with my own mom as a child (although I believe I was a bit older than RP at the time) and my mom actually packed a bag and brought it to the stairs for me, telling me I could go at any time, and those were the things I could take. I tried a similar tactic with RP, taking her to her room, pulling out her pink travel bag, and telling her she could take whatever fit in that bag to find her new Mommy, but that everything else, including the puppies, was staying here. I'll admit to being choked up during the entire process, and at first she cheerfully went about putting toys and books in the bag - until she realized that I would NOT be going with her. THEN the waterworks started, along with cries of, "No, no Mommy - me no go. Me no go!!!" We sat down and had a long talk about what it meant to be a family and how respect in the family works, and I left it at that (well, that and telling her she had to put all her stuff away if she was truly staying), and we hadn't talked about it since. Apparently SHE still remembers the conversation and wanted to reiterate for me that she has no intention of going anywhere and that I'm the Mommy for her.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love that little munchkin?

Happy Father's Day!

Sometimes I go into Father's Day weekend with a twinge - I love celebrating my dad and all he has done for me, but it makes me somewhat sad that RP doesn't have that same thing in her life. I am EXTREMELY lucky that she has a great group of men in her life to act as role models, and she loves them all dearly - her Papa (of course), her "Uncle Crick," and her godfather, "Uncle Cake" (what can I say, we're still working on language development - they know who they are!). She knows who Daddy's "are," and can identify them in a television program or in a book, but she has never asked why she doesn't have one, but I'm sure that day is coming. As it is, last Thursday RP told me that we NEEDED to have a baby at home - baby brother or sister, it didn't matter - then an hour later told me that she did NOT want a baby at home and that she liked being an only child. Whew - sidestepped a landmine on that one!

Today I give thanks to everyone in my life who has made being a single mom easier, both for me and for RP, and especially all you special guys who love RP like your own and make her feel warm, secure, and special - both she and I are eternally grateful for your love and support!

Catching up...

It's been a while since I've posted, and for good reason. RP and I took our first official "road trip" to visit relatives in another state, about 6 hours away. I have to say that I was dreading the prospect of spending six hours in the car with RP, only because while she does well on 1-2 hour trips, this is WAY longer than she's ever had to spend in the car, and I wasn't sure how she'd do. I'm pleasantly pleased to announce that she did FANTASTIC - the only "glitch" we ran into is that about 20 minutes from our destination she lost her mind in the back seat and started crying and screaming that her tummy hurt and she needed to get out... now. Yes, I thought she was going to get car sick and yes, those were the LONGEST 20 minutes of my life, but we made it, she DIDN'T get sick, and we both had a blast - me visiting relatives I haven't seen in almost 6 years, and she meeting those relatives for the first time.

RP also started gymnastics class last week, so once a week she now attends gymnastics in addition to being in pre-school once a week. I am thankful right now that I am a SAHM because there is a LOT of running around that has been happening recently, and I have to say that while I'm looking forward to gainful employment (or school) in the near future, I am enjoying the here and now. RP is doing well in gymnastics and seems to enjoy it immensely, and unlike last week when she bolted for the middle of the gym, today she stayed with the group despite being tired and crabby for part of the class (our idiot neighbors are doing construction in their basement and have a knack for not starting the hammering until she is almost asleep, which has made for some long nights when they repeatedly wake her up with all their noise!).

It also seems, to me anyway, that RP's speech is getting better by the day. This could be because I am spending so much time with her that I just understand her more, but I think it's getting more clear and coherent every day, which is one less worry for me. She still sounds really garbled when she's being silly and playing, or when she is super-excited about something, but for the most part she is getting more and more understandable and using a bigger vocabulary each and every day (the new word of the day: disgusting. Previous word of the day: "idiot," as in "what are those idiots doing NOW Mommy?" Yes, I need to stop calling the neighbors idiots.).

I am also happy to announce that RP has FINALLY learned to pedal a bike! We stopped off at her cousins' on the way home from our road trip and my brother had a tiny Power Wheels that she could finally reach the pedals on, and after a few false starts she was off and running with the rest of the crew - riding bikes like champs! Sunday I found a tiny Radio Flyer tricycle that she can reach the pedals on as well, and now all she wants to do is "ride, ride, ride!" her bike. She is so proud of herself for being able to ride a bike like the rest of the kids her age, and that smile and sense of accomplishment more than makes up for the monetary cost of the bike. I had to laugh, though, when I put her new bike in the garage next to her Barbie Power Wheels ATV and her Barbie Hot Wheels (the one she can only ride like Fred Flintstone since she still can't reach the pedals on that one yet!) - every bike she has is pink and purple!!! Good thing I have a two-car garage because with her collection of vehicles she needs that space to park all of HER vehicles in!

Laying on the guilt...

I had to work for a few hours yesterday, so Papa came and picked RP up to spend the day with he and Nana. This worked out nicely because Papa and I were going to a NASCAR race last night, and RP and I, along with the puppies, were planning on spending the night at Nana and Papa's anyway. After work, I raced home to grab all our stuff (it is still AMAZING to me how much stuff I need to pack just to spend the night away from home anymore. I carried no less than three bags of stuff with me for one night, when two years ago I packed a roll-on pilot case which I carried on the plane, and that was for my class at Disney Institute, six days in Orlando, FL!). Anyhoo...

RP was still sleeping when I got there (taking her nap), and apparently had been a bit grumpy all morning long. This was no surprise since I had to wake her up in the morning to get going, and she was still exhausted from a fun day of playing outside the day before. She napped for almost three hours before I woke her up, and even then she had a hard time waking up, preferring to stay cuddled in my lap, eyes half closed and thumb in her mouth for almost a half hour, which for her is a new all-time record. Storms blew in and Papa and I were getting ready to leave, and when RP realized she wasn't coming to the races with us, she was clearly not happy, despite the fact that Nana had a fun evening planned for the two of them. Our discussion about staying home went something like this:

Me: "RP, remember that we talked about tonight - Papa and I are going to go to the racetrack to see the race cars. You are going to stay here and have fun with Nana!"

RP: "No Mommy, me go with you." (Hugs tighter)

Me: "No honey, only Papa and I are going to go. You can watch the beginning on TV and see if you can find Papa and I in the crowd - how 'bout that?!"

RP: "No Mommy, me go with you. I sit on your lap." (Add to this the big brown eyes looking up at me, pleading with me to let her go too - ugh, it's too much!)

Me: "Honey, I would love for you to come and sit on my lap, but we only have two tickets - one for Papa, and one for Mommy. I didn't think you'd want to go, so we didn't get you a ticket this time." (I forgot the cardinal rule - never EVER try to rationalize with a three-year old)

RP: "Mommy, me buy a ticket with me own money. Then me can go with you, otay?" (Add even BIGGER, more pleading brown eyes, and you have one big o'le mess of a Mommy!)

I held and rocked RP for a while longer until she was fully awake and suddenly became interested in running around and playing with her toys. I left with Papa about an hour later for the race, but felt like the Worst Mom in the World, for the second time in as many weeks. At least I can find comfort in the fact that she and Nana had a great "girls-night" last night and RP seemed to forget all about it this morning. She may have, but I haven't - point taken, RP. Point taken.

Let the summertime fun begin!

It appears that FINALLY the weather has broken and we are headed straight for summer from winter weather. I'm not sure whatever happened to spring in the Midwest, but summer is my favorite season so I'll take it anytime I can get it. Considering that about a week ago I still had the HEAT on, and literally switched one day from heat to A/C the next, it's still hard to get used to.

I had to work today, so RP went to Nana and Papa's as usual. It hit a record high of 90 degrees here today, and tomorrow is looking like more of the same, so I brought RP's water table and bike to Nana and Papa's last night when I picked her up, and additionally bought them a cute little ladybug sprinkler for RP to use while she was there, since for some reason her swimming pool from last year seems to be missing. When I got to Nana and Papa's this afternoon, they were all sitting on the back patio and were laughing and having a good old time - with RP holding down court as usual.

I had to laugh last year when one of my friends called RP my "little Bohemian" because she spent almost every weekend in a bathing suit, and it looks like this year will be more of the same. She has a suit for school (water days are popular in the summer there, and it's just easier to have one for school than remembering to check the calendar as we're dashing out the door and packing a bag to bring!), a suit for Nana and Papa's, and two for home. True to form, she was decked out in her bathing suit, soaked from head to toe when I got to Nana and Papa's and she was in such a "playing outside" frenzy that I'm not sure she saw me at first! Apparently RP, Nana, and Papa had been playing outside in the 90 degree heat for at least 90 minutes before I got there, and RP was a flurry of activity - she rode her bike, ran through the sprinkler, played soccer with Papa, splashed in the water table, THEN splashed all over Nana and Papa, etc. etc. etc. Even after I got there, it took another 10 minutes to get her inside and dried off.

RP was being her normal, wiggly, silly little self while I was trying to get her dried and dressed, and in the spirit of being silly, she giggled at me, "I gonna GET you Mommy!" I laughed and said, "Oh really, RP? Oh really?" Then yes, she got me all right. She leaned over and BIT me on the cheek. Out of the blue, just bit me, then giggled and said, "I bite you Mommy."

As you have probably already guessed, Mommy was NOT as happy as RP was. She went through a play biting phase last year, and it has resurfaced again this year. Not sure what triggers it - school, boredom, change in season, whatever - but she knows, without a shred of doubt, that we don't bite. Ever. End of discussion. While it was a play bite and didn't hurt (although, I will say this time around it did pinch a bit - EEK!), she knows there is a zero tolerance on our house for biting, hitting, scratching, etc. (you get the idea), so I informed her that she had to head to the naughty corner. The drama that unfolded from that child was Oscar worthy at that point - lots of loud crying and carrying on, with "I torry Mommy, I torry..." over and over and over, but no real tears.

After about 2 minutes in the naughty corner I turned her around and asked if she knew why she was in the naughty corner. "I torry Mommy," was the response I received. I told her I appreciated that, and knew she was sorry, but I was asking why she was in the naughty corner, and now apologizing, in the first place. "I bited you," she replied. Yep, you did kiddo and you know we don't bite, but before I could even respond my little princess proceeded to then give me a dirty look, bring her own hand to her mouth, and bite her own thumb - hard - then gave me ANOTHER dirty look as if this now made things even.

You probably guessed that this earned her ANOTHER two minutes in the naughty corner. At the end of those two minutes she apologized again, gave me a hug and a kiss, and let me finish drying her off and get her dressed without another incident. She was happy, silly, and out and out cheeky with Nana and Papa as we left, and was trying to sing along to the radio in the car, when all of a sudden it became dead quiet in the backseat. I glanced in the mirror and the poor child, who had been so tired that she put her sunglasses on upside down, had literally passed out mid-lyric in her seat. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, and the poor kid was a goner.

Ahhh - let the summertime fun begin!

"You need to listen, Mommy..."

As you may or may not have picked up from previous posts, RP and I have had several recent discussions on "listening." A hearing test a few weeks ago at school confirmed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the child's hearing, so when she doesn't do as I have asked of her (usually asked repeatedly, that is) I know it isn't because she can't hear me. It's because she is three and clearly has other things to do before fulfilling my request to stop dancing around and put on her jammies, stop playing with "that" toy and come to the table to eat a meal, or to leave the puppies alone because all three of them (RP and the two puppies that is!) are getting wild and out of control. While it's fun and often funny to watch her blossom into her own individual self, it is often frustrating to have to repeat a request again, and again, and again to get a result, and we therefore have had several discussions on what it means to "listen."

Tonight RP was in rare form. We got a late start leaving Nana and Papa's after I worked today because traffic was bad and I was hoping it would ease some if we waited an extra few minutes or so, which, before I knew it, had turned into probably an extra 30-45 minutes. When we got home RP was SO excited to help Mommy water the flowers in the front of the house with her little watering can, then we ran into my next door neighbor (no, not the loud and obnoxious one, the semi-crazy but overall very nice, and quiet, one on the other side) who talked and talked and talked, so it was very late before we came inside to make dinner. RP took almost 40 minutes to eat a small bowl of rice, some watermelon, and a slushie for dessert, and it was driving me crazy - mostly because the reason she took so long was because she was having too much fun at the table crossing her eyes so she could look at the end of her nose, and she was having even MORE fun with the fact that this sight grossed Mommy out. Completely. Ick!

I finally got RP up into the bath and then prayers said, story read, and tucked into bed for a good night's sleep. Despite RP yawning her way through the story, she fought the valiant fight to keep those big brown eyes open, and started making her usual evening requests, which she knows at this point are for naught, since we have talked (again ad nauseum) about the fact that when Mommy goes downstairs she isn't coming back up unless it's an emergency (this new "rule" was brought on after I spent one evening going up and down the stairs at least 10 times in a one hour time span - no more!!!):

" Mommy, I need more water."
" RP, you know that Mommy can't give you any more water. You had a full sippee cup which is meant to last all night long. If I give you more water you will wet through your nighttime diaper."
" Otay."

Five minutes later:
" Mommy, I have a boo-boo. Me need a nan-daid."
" RP, Mommy put a band-aid on the boo-boo on your thumb before story time. I asked you then if there were any more boo-boos and you told me no. You should be sleeping, so you shouldn't have been doing anything to get any more boo-boos, now should you have?"
" No, Mommy."

Three minutes later:
" Mommy, I need a 'nuggle."
(Ugh. This is the toughest one for me and she knows it.) "RP, Mommy gave you kisses and snuggles before she tucked you in, AND she gives you a snuggle and a kiss every night before she goes to bed. I love you very much, but Mommy cannot come up the stairs right now for a snuggle. I promise that I will give you another snuggle and kiss when I go to bed."
** crickets** No response. Then a weak little, "Otay Mommy."
(Yep, I feel like a complete jerk, and worthy of the "Worst Mommy in the World" title right about now.)

About a half hour after this exchange I headed upstairs to take a shower, and lo and behold found RP still awake in her bed. When she saw me she jumped down out of her bed, demanding her " 'nuggle," and of course I gladly complied. She snuggled into my shoulder for a full five minutes, letting me snuggle her and rock her gently while kissing her hair, which she loves. Finally she broke free of the snuggle, grabbed my face in her chubby little hands, and proceeded to tell me:

"Mommy, me needed a 'nuggle to tell you that I wuv you. I wuv you a wot, and I wanted a 'nuggle to tell you this. You need to yisten to me more Mommy - awright? Awright Mommy?" She then proceeded to kiss my cheek, throw her hands around my neck for one more giant hug, then wiggle away to climb up and snuggle back into bed. Wow.

Yes, RP I'm listening - and I "wuv" you "a wot" too. And no, next time she asks for a snuggle she will not be denied or put off for later. Point taken.

When did all this happen?

Yes, as we have determined several times over now, I have been unemployed since January. Well, I guess right now I'm employed part-time so we'll say, "unemployed/under-employed since January." As such, I have spent a great deal of time with RP, and for that I am oh-so grateful, as I know this is a rarity and like all good things, will eventually come to an end.

That being said, over the past few weeks I have noticed the following things about my child that surprise me, and that they surprise me is a surprise in and of itself:

- RP is one funny little girl. She has an amazing sense of humor, and never fails to crack herself up. I love when she throws her head back, mouth wide open, laughing hysterically, then throws a hand back to cover the wide-open mouth, now laughing because of the physical position she has put herself in. She loves to laugh, takes tickling and pillow fights very seriously, and finds anything that you find funny just down-and-out hysterical. Her belly laughs are infectious, and I have found myself these last two weeks doing everything I can to evoke more and more of them, just to hear the rumble and see her shake with glee. It's truly amazing.

- RP is one smart little girl. I didn't notice until a couple of weeks ago how many questions RP was asking already. Perhaps this is because we were in Wal-Mart and I was showing her a fiddler crab they had in the fish section and had been standing there answering questions about the crab for at least 5 minutes when a woman came up to me, pointed out all the questions, then told me that her daughter, who just graduated from medical school was the same way and how "smart" RP was already. Now granted, all the questioning sometimes drives me bonkers, but I've taken some time to really listen to her questions, as well as everything else she says, and I have to say I'm amazed at how much she remembers and how deep her questioning of things goes. It also seems that over these last two weeks she has mastered counting 1-5, is about 50% on 1-10, and today decided that we needed to add the "teens" to her counting abilities, counting as such: "eight, nine, eighteen, nineteen, fiveteen, twoteen, eighteen, nineteen, twelve!" Hey, she's three - cut her some slack! :)

- RP is creative. She doesn't need a toy in-hand all the time, or Mommy playing with her, although those certainly are her preferences. She spent over two hours tonight reading herself to sleep with her books, then proceeded to build a pillow fort in her bed - well, until I caught her and made her take it down and finally go to sleep. She sings and makes up songs and stories for everyday situations, which are funny and adorable at the same time, and she expects you to remember them as much as she does (my favorite is the "brushing my teeth" song which is exactly that - "brushing my teeth" is the ENTIRE song, but god help you if she goes to brush her teeth and you don't sing along!). She alternates between playing fairy princess with her wand from her Princess luncheon at Disney World to hostessing a tea party in the bathtub as Superman.

- RP really is the center of the world. Okay, okay - MY world anyway. I have a lot of decisions to make in a relatively short period of time here, and these decisions are WAY different now than they would have been two years ago. It isn't about me and what I want/need - it's about what's best for her. Wait a minute, what's best for her IS what I want, so I guess in a roundabout way, it still is about me, but you get the idea. I'm not sure when and how someone so tiny garnered so much control here, but she wields it, without knowing, in her little finger - Mommy is a complete goner.

There are so many things I have noticed lately - RP dressing/undressing herself without assistance, putting on shoes without needing me to do it, working on ABC's but knowing all her colors and most of her animals and numbers - that even though I've been around for it all, I've just never noticed before. Perhaps it's because now that I'm home with her, I'm taking for granted all that she is doing and saying, and I've just allowed myself the opportunity to step back, stop talking, and start listening. Perhaps it's because in this same time frame I've started back to working part-time so I notice this stuff more when I have a small break from it day in and day out. I know every parent says/thinks this about their child, and now I truly understand why, but for the record I'm going to say it too, "RP is absolutely an amazing child." And just when I think I can't love her any more than I already do, I find myself doing just that...