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Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Another "one year ago" post...

It's hard to believe that one little year ago my Mom and I had boarded the plane headed to St. Petersburg by way of Germany. I still remember the excitement, anticipation, and yes worry, surrounding the trip. Our travel visas literally came at the eleventh hour, and I had never flown anywhere further than California (despite having traveled to Jamaica and Mexico, I think the distance from here to California is actually greater) and never in my life had I ever had a desire to travel to Europe, let alone Eastern Europe in the middle of winter!

Eleven months had gone by since I first signed with my agency, and three months had passed since I first saw the four referral pictures of my little RP, and this trip was everything I had waited for. Still, I was worried about everything - the plane crashing or getting stuck somewhere in a country that I didn't speak/understand the language, not being met by the wheelchair for my mom in both Germany (which did happen - luckily we were able to hop a "beep-beep cart" to buzz us to our gate just in time to catch our connection!) and Russia, OR not being met by the English-speaking coordinator/translator in St. Petersburg, getting to the Ministry of Education to find that RP had already found another family, or meeting my little girl only to discover that she hated me... you get the idea.

In hindsight, the original trip couldn't have gone smoother. Our flights were fairly smooth and VERY uneventful, the coordinator actually found ME in Russia because I was looking for her so hard that I completely missed the big "EAC" sign she was holding, the hotel accommodations were very nice and most of the staff there was fluent in English, and at the Ministry of Education I saw a picture of RP that I had never seen before (and wish they had given me... but they didn't) along with her medical and personal information, and was given the green light to go and see my baby!

I had so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and am trying to keep myself in check for Christmas (unlike for RP's birthday when it literally took her over an hour to open all of her presents!). I won't lie - single parenting (or, just parenting in general) is WAY harder than I thought it would be, and the worries haven't stopped since those flights last year. I worry constantly about whether or not RP is getting enough attention from me, learning the right things, and yes, does she know how much I love her, and does she love me as well? In my heart of hearts I know the answers to that, and I was kidding myself last year when I thought that once the process was done and we were home I would STOP worrying, and just start enjoying. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy each and every day with my little princess (yes, even the challenging ones), I just realized that the worries won't ever stop - they just change with time - but she will ALWAYS be my little Russian Princess...

November 30, 2009
Our very first meeting

November 25, 2010
Our first Thanksgiving as a family!

Without the love, support, and encouragement of my family and friends I never could have gone through this process, let alone survived it, and while I'm sure it sounds cliche', it was all completely worth it. My life is truly transformed by this tiny little princess who calls me "Mommy," and without the incredible support system I had during the process, and especially now, I wouldn't be where I am today. For all of you, and for RP, I am truly thankful...

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