Getting closer to Gotcha Day!

Five short days from now will be the one year anniversary of my "Gotcha Day" with RP. Time is so very weird that it seems like forever ago, yet hardly possible that it has already been a year.

That being said, a year ago today was my final visit with RP before our Gotcha Day. I remember being excited to see her, but at the same time hurt and annoyed (okay, angry really) that I had to be in country for two weeks, yet only could see my baby two times in the first week and a half, let alone having to wait five days between our final visit and the day that I could walk out of the orphanage with her as a family.

Our final visit was actually the best one ever, and if I had to wait the five days, it was an incredible way to start that wait. I remember the music teacher coming in and having our own personal "concert" with her and RP. RP was shy yet adorable, and was truly the center of the universe for the hour that we spent with her. This day also stands out for me because it was the first time I ever heard her speak - and her first word to me was "Mama."

Walking out of the orphanage every visit was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but this visit was by far the hardest. After 13 months, 50,000 air miles, and confirmation of the finalization of the adoption from the court, I was ready to start our life as a family. It was of little comfort at the time that the next time I arrived at the orphanage it would be for the last time, and that RP would finally come home with me to start her life with me as a family. I remember choking back the tears over the next several days, but truly unwilling and unable to do much other than wish the time away and count down the hours until I held her in my arms... for good. This was truly one of the times that I was thankful for the fact that no matter what else happens, time marches on!

February 19, 2010

February 13, 2011

Thank goodness for "normal" days

Is there really such a thing as "normal?" If so, I think today was it. To get ready for our big family vacay to Disney I have been tanning (I know, I know...) and today I dropped RP at her grandparents so I could enjoy 20 minutes of fake sun and music blaring on my iPod. RP was actually really good today (minus the "let's see what happens when I take a handful of dirt out of Nana's plants" moment...) and she loved playing Lego's with Nana and snuggling with Papa while watching Mickey Mouse. When we got home this afternoon she took a decent nap and played quietly while I did the same. Follow that by a good dinner, a tea party in the middle of the kitchen, and before you know it, it is time for bed. All in all a good day, and I was only "hey guy!" a handful of times today. Woo-hoo!

In the midst of all this normalcy I received my first real bite on my resume. I don't want to jinx anything by posting too much detail, but the recruiter was great and was super excited to get my resume over to the hiring manager, so I was pretty excited as well. Couple that with RP AND the puppies being quiet and behaving so I could go through the phone screen, and we can chalk up a great day today.

Ahhh... is it too much to hope for that these "good days" last AND that very soon I'll be back in the land of the employed? Here's to hoping! :)

"Hey guy!"

No, this isn't a desperate cry for attention from me - this would be my child's new favorite catch phrase. A few weeks ago during a visit to my brother's house for the twins' birthday I noticed that RP kept referring to both her aunt and her uncle as "Hey guy" when she was trying to get their attention. Giving her the benefit of the doubt (since she hadn't seen them in several weeks) I gently reminded her of the names of her aunt and uncle and let it pretty much pass.

YESTERDAY I noticed that my delightful little princess kept calling "Hey guy!" when she wanted to get my attention. I corrected her a handful of times and soon we were back to "Mommy" or Momma (or yes, even the dreaded "MOM!" - dreaded only because it sounds WAY too grown up for a two-year old) and life went on. Imagine my surprise (nay - horror!) that today when she was with her grandparents she kept referring to THEM as well as me (again!) as "Hey guy!"

I have no idea where this came from, but now RP either thinks it is funny or she is asserting control over calling us whatever pleases her. I reminded her (not so gently this time) that we all have NAMES and that she needs to use them to talk to us, but to no avail. At one point today she even summoned me by saying, "Hey guy - get my white pillow!" as she pointed upstairs toward her room. When I failed to follow her direction, she glared at me, repeated her "request," and jabbed the air in the direction of her room, while she settled back on the sofa looking oh-so very proud of herself. Needless to say, this was short-lived as not only did I NOT go upstairs and retrieve the pillow, but RP found herself in the naughty corner pondering what put her there and the proper way to address people.

Perhaps I am making too big a deal about this. I know a lot of what is going on right now is about control - she is becoming more independent and is eager to show this independence in everything she does. She wants to dress/undress herself, use the potty on her own (well, for the most part - and, yay for this one!), climb up into the van and buckle herself in, and dozens and dozens of other things. I also know I can be hard on her, and sometimes I am afraid that I am TOO hard on her, and that I spend so much time worrying about her discipline and development that I fail to truly enjoy what is going on right now and live for the moment. I told her time and time again today that calling someone "guy," especially when you know their name, is rude and disrespectful - clearly not necessarily concepts she can completely grasp yet. Hopefully we have ridden this out today and it won't be an issue tomorrow, but if so I think the game plan is changing to one of ignoring the request until she can address it properly.

I just hope I'm ready for whatever battle of wills is coming up next!

Another video montage - our first six months home!

Yes, this is quite a bit delayed in coming, but I just finished the montage for our first six months home. Now, to work on the next six months!

Just a warning that this one is long - over 30 minutes! :)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sometimes change is remarkable...

As I alluded to in earlier posts, February is really a time of reflection for me, and there are going to be a lot of "one year ago" posts this month since so much happened to finalize RP's adoption and complete the journey that was 13 months in the making.

Below is a picture from my visit to RP at the orphanage on February 17, 2010, followed by a recent picture (I didn't get any of her today, so it's from the 15th, but you get the idea). While I'm posting this on the 16th, technically it is already the 17th in St. Petersburg, so it truly is a "one year ago" moment.

I love looking at these pictures side-by-side because I think they illustrate the fact that RP is an entirely different little girl just 12 short months after coming home. The picture on the right shows my beautiful little girl as I remember her most from all of my visits - serious, shy, and VERY tentative around me. While the bonus in this picture is that she wasn't crying and did spend some time during this visit interacting with my Mom and I, she tended to focus solely on her toys, answer questions from the interpreter, and sneak peeks at us to see if we were still paying attention or trying to play with her. Fast forward one year and she is silly (hence the fact that she is wearing snow boots in the house and playing in a cardboard box despite the rooms full of toys that she has!), talks up a storm (and then some - sometimes I swear my ears are going to bleed, but gosh darn it, she is incredibly funny and animated when she talks - wonder where she gets THAT from???), and always has to be on the go-go-go!

While the differences and changes are pretty hard to miss, I think I should also note that there are some things that HAVEN'T changed about RP in the last 12 months. The first time they brought RP into the room to meet me, she let it be known that she wasn't happy and had a complete and utter meltdown - crying, screaming, the whole nine yards. While this was due to fear of the unknown, I have to say that there are times when this temper still shines through, and she is VERY clear about what she likes and doesn't like, and still has quite the healthy set of lungs to express those feelings with! I was also told that she liked to color, draw, and sing and dance, and those things also have not changed. Right now her favorite "toy" is a pencil and notebook which she carries around with her almost non-stop and "colors" on a regular basis. Painting, drawing with markers, and pretty much anything crafty is a surefire way to keep her busy and entertained for hours, as is anything musical - she turns almost anything and everything into an instrument and loves to sing and dance for Mommy (have I mentioned that she does a wicked "I'm a little teapot?"), and often entertains herself while putting her toys away by singing a "Clean Up" song (which literally consists of singing "Clean. Up. Clean. Up." over and over and over) and lets me know she is done with her meal by singing "Allllll Donnnnneeeee" and throwing her arms over her head in dramatic fashion.

It goes without saying that I love my little RP - for all she is, for all she "was," and all she will become. Despite any and all challenges, I'm really looking forward to seeing who that will be!

High expectations, followed by reality

As I have posted at least three times in the last week, today marks one year since RP's adoption was finalized. I can hardly believe it has been a year since the court in St. Petersburg signed off on her adoption, and one year ago today I arrived in St. Petersburg tired, overwhelmed, and antsy... ready to scoop up my child, bring her home, and start our life together.

As such, I really wanted today to be a special day. Originally we were going to spend the day at Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, but weather and other circumstances have postponed that outing for a later (and nicer weather!) day. I was actually fine with this, and was looking forward to a day spent with RP, just hanging out and enjoying time with her, especially since I wasn't with her on this day last year.

Have I mentioned lately that either the "terrible two's" have shown a late onset or the "trying three's" are rearing their ugly heads exactly two months early? This last week RP has truly been out of pocket - public temper tantrums, talking back, refusing to listen... the whole nine yards. A SMART Mom would have realized this and planned for something simple, especially when her last nerve was shot on Saturday when, during Mass, her almost-three year old started screaming at the top of her lungs "I WANT CANDY" while thrashing, kicking, and crying loudly. Clearly, I am not a smart Mom, as I set up RP's easel and new finger painting set, camera in hand, fully prepared to watch her child enjoy the simple joy of painting.

Yeah. Big mistake. RP enjoyed painting all right - by scooping huge handfuls of it up, squishing it between her hands and fingers, then rubbing only a smidgen of it on the paper so that she can save the bulk of it to swirl in the bowl of water meant to rinse her hands in. There was paint EVERYWHERE (surprisingly even on the paper!), while I meanwhile kept reminding her where the paint was to go, how the paint was to get there, and NOT to try to make a mess (remember, NOT a smart Mom today). Painting came to an abrupt end when the bowl of multi-colored water, complete with large clumps of paint, went crashing to the ground, spilling almost EVERYWHERE in the kitchen. I lost my mind (something I'm not proud of, but it happened nonetheless) and RP ended up in her room, in her bed, painting time over.

Painting, BEFORE "the big spill!"

While I am NOT a smart Mom (especially today!), at least I was smart enough to realize that the way the day was going, we were going to forgo any other "special plans" and just let the day evolve. Nana and Papa came over and dropped off an early birthday present for RP - a little table and chair set which she absolutely loves - and we spent the rest of the day just hanging out, so it ended MUCH better than it began!

I'm hoping this is all just a phase and am trying to keep things in perspective. Overall, she is a sweet, loving little girl who is testing her boundaries and discovering her independence and her personality. A year ago she was a shy, quiet, almost angry little girl who never smiled and kept to herself. To see the changes and how far she has come in only one short year is nothing short of a miracle, and despite our challenges today, I am SO thankful for the blessing of her in my life. No matter how trying today was, I'll take it over being where I was last year, just starting the journey and not knowing where it would all end up. My daughter is my world, and I'll take whatever challenges may come (although yes, I'm hoping for a quick end to this current "phase" she's in!)!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Okay, so by the title of this post you might think I'm a huge fan of this holiday. Truth be told, I'm not. While I think it's nice in theory that you make a special effort to show those around you that you love them, in practice shouldn't we be doing this EVERY day? Do we need Hallmark to tell us when, and how, to show others we care? Sorry... getting off my soapbox now.

Valentine's Day will always hold a special day in my heart because this is the day that I boarded a plane in the United States for the last time as a "single woman." My mom and I left for St. Petersburg on February 14 of 2010 to go over one last time, finally pick up RP, and process all the paperwork to bring her home... finally. This signified the true light at the end of the tunnel - then ending of one journey, and the start of another. I still remember how nervous and excited I was to finally become "Mommy" to my little RP, and I packed and repacked that suitcase about 40 times in the 11 days I had between trips 2 and 3.

RP enjoyed Valentine's Day (or should we say "Valentine's Weekend?") immensely. Her godparents, along with Nana and Papa, brought her candy and presents, while Mommy was a bit more practical in providing presents (no candy - she's sugared up enough on the M&M's she's hoarding from potty training!), and she loved making Valentine's for everyone under the sun (including the puppies - yep, it was cute. Really cute...). We traveled to Wisconsin yesterday for her cousin's piano recital, and today we went to dinner with some close friends of ours, so our Valentine celebration lasted over the last few days.

As we approach our one year anniversaries - tomorrow, February 24, and February 27 - I am reminded how quickly time passes. It hardly seems possible that this is our first Valentine's Day together and that only a year ago I was making that final trek to Russia to finally bring my baby home. It hardly seems possible that a year ago I wasn't truly a "Mom" anywhere except on some paperwork in the Russian court system. It hardly seems possible that I have been blessed enough to become a Mom. Just goes to show you that anything truly is possible.

"Mommy! Look what I got from Nana and Papa!"

Mommy's sweet little Valentine!