Another "one year ago" post...

It's hard to believe that one little year ago my Mom and I had boarded the plane headed to St. Petersburg by way of Germany. I still remember the excitement, anticipation, and yes worry, surrounding the trip. Our travel visas literally came at the eleventh hour, and I had never flown anywhere further than California (despite having traveled to Jamaica and Mexico, I think the distance from here to California is actually greater) and never in my life had I ever had a desire to travel to Europe, let alone Eastern Europe in the middle of winter!

Eleven months had gone by since I first signed with my agency, and three months had passed since I first saw the four referral pictures of my little RP, and this trip was everything I had waited for. Still, I was worried about everything - the plane crashing or getting stuck somewhere in a country that I didn't speak/understand the language, not being met by the wheelchair for my mom in both Germany (which did happen - luckily we were able to hop a "beep-beep cart" to buzz us to our gate just in time to catch our connection!) and Russia, OR not being met by the English-speaking coordinator/translator in St. Petersburg, getting to the Ministry of Education to find that RP had already found another family, or meeting my little girl only to discover that she hated me... you get the idea.

In hindsight, the original trip couldn't have gone smoother. Our flights were fairly smooth and VERY uneventful, the coordinator actually found ME in Russia because I was looking for her so hard that I completely missed the big "EAC" sign she was holding, the hotel accommodations were very nice and most of the staff there was fluent in English, and at the Ministry of Education I saw a picture of RP that I had never seen before (and wish they had given me... but they didn't) along with her medical and personal information, and was given the green light to go and see my baby!

I had so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and am trying to keep myself in check for Christmas (unlike for RP's birthday when it literally took her over an hour to open all of her presents!). I won't lie - single parenting (or, just parenting in general) is WAY harder than I thought it would be, and the worries haven't stopped since those flights last year. I worry constantly about whether or not RP is getting enough attention from me, learning the right things, and yes, does she know how much I love her, and does she love me as well? In my heart of hearts I know the answers to that, and I was kidding myself last year when I thought that once the process was done and we were home I would STOP worrying, and just start enjoying. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy each and every day with my little princess (yes, even the challenging ones), I just realized that the worries won't ever stop - they just change with time - but she will ALWAYS be my little Russian Princess...

November 30, 2009
Our very first meeting

November 25, 2010
Our first Thanksgiving as a family!

Without the love, support, and encouragement of my family and friends I never could have gone through this process, let alone survived it, and while I'm sure it sounds cliche', it was all completely worth it. My life is truly transformed by this tiny little princess who calls me "Mommy," and without the incredible support system I had during the process, and especially now, I wouldn't be where I am today. For all of you, and for RP, I am truly thankful...

More transitions...

Two weeks ago I transitioned RP from her crib to a toddler bed. While she still seemed pretty content in the crib (and I was happy to have her confined so she couldn't get into anything or get hurt), she just seemed "ready" for a big girl bed. A friend of mine was kind enough to loan me hers, and within 10 minutes we had the toddler bed set up, crib mattress on it, and RP's entire face lit up as she realized this was all for her! She must have climbed in and out of that bed 100 times during the day, smiling, giggling, and throwing herself on the bed, as if to reaffirm that it really was hers.

For as much as she loved her new big girl bed, actually sleeping in it proved to be another story. She was TERRIFIED to move from it, and she cried and whimpered for over an hour that night before she finally drifted off to sleep, with Mommy in there rubbing her back and kneeling next to the bed to comfort her as she was truly scared of this new transition. The next morning she cried for me to come and get her out of bed, but perked up when she realized she could actually climb out on her own, and from then on she has LOVED her new bed.

We've had a few scary moments in the last few weeks with the new bed. About three nights in, she managed to slide through the bars of the rail and ended up on the floor, under her crib (which is still in there until Papa takes it apart to get it out of the room - I had NO idea that it wouldn't fit through the door!), where she woke up screaming. Two nights later I was awakened in the middle of the night to blood-curdling screams when she somehow managed to get her head stuck in the same railing, which prompted me to ask Papa to remove the safety rails entirely, as I couldn't handle the vision of her choking to death in the bed because she got stuck again but this time couldn't breathe - **shudder**

This past weekend I ordered new "official" toddler bedding for her new bed, and washed up the crib bedding to pack away. I won't lie - I cried when putting that bedding away. It's been six and a half months and she is already growing up way too quickly for me. While I did enjoy the fact that she let me sleep in until 8:30 - 8:45 a.m. this weekend (something I haven't done in MONTHS), I'd sacrifice the sleep for more time with her in this stage of life. She is a bundle of energy, with quite the emerging personality, and I'm trying to soak in and treasure every moment I can, as she is truly growing up way too quickly...

Three months to the day...

Three months ago today I brought my baby back to the US. I can hardly believe it has ONLY been three months since she came home - it seems as if she has been in my life forever, and that is a great feeling.

In a relatively short period of time, RP has experienced many "firsts:"

• first airplane ride (she has now been on three, and logged about 10,000 miles before her second birthday)
• first hotel stay (Radisson in Moscow - it was absolutely beautiful!)
• first visit to a restaurant (also at the Radisson in Moscow)
• first word (Mama - of course!)
• first time in a car riding in a car seat (coming home from the airport - can you believe car seats are only suggested in Russia, and most families don't use them?)
• first time owning anything (clothes, toys, everything was communal in the orphanage)
• first time seeing and playing with a real dog
• first time seeing and petting a real cat (and subsequently first time being bitten by a cat - Cassie isn't much for playing)
• first Easter celebration, and first exposure to the Easter bunny
• first time celebrating her birthday with presents and a cake
• first time going to the zoo
• first party!
• first play date
• first kisses and snuggles
• first time going to "school"
• first haircut in a real salon!
• first time swimming (meaning the first time wearing a bathing suit!)

and the most important one:

• FIRST TIME BEING PART OF A FAMILY

Even on the days that things haven't gone smoothly, meltdowns have ensued, and tears have fallen, at the end of every night I thank God for the blessings he has given to me. I don't know why or how I was chosen to become RP's Mommy, but I am thankful each and every day for the opportunity, and am looking forward to the next three months (and beyond...) with my beautiful little Russian princess!