1st post jitters!

So, here it is, my first official post on my brand-spankin' new blog - yay! And yes, I have NOTHING to say - imagine that! Me, who never seems to be at a loss for words, can't find a single thing to write about! Guess I'll start at the beginning - why the blog in the first place?

Over the last few years I have been truly faced with the realities of time. Several years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis, and underwent two surgeries in a matter of six months in an effort to stop its spread. Unfortunately, this provided only some sort-term relief, and after subsequent years of medications, visits to the pain clinic which involved hard-core pain meds and three spinal block procedures, my ob-gyne informed me that if I ever wanted to have children I needed to do it... now. As luck would have it, my on-again, off-again long distance relationship had ended, for good this time, and I was in no mood to try for another relationship just yet. Sooooo... with the help of my parents and great medical insurance, I went through a year and a half of fertility treatments.

I always thought that if you wanted something badly enough you would get it, and that's the attitude I went into fertility treatments with. I'll spare you the gory details, but after one failed ICI and four failed IVF treatments I was monetarily and emotionally broke and had gained 45 pounds due to all the medications. If that weren't enough, the endometriosis had spread and I was in constant agony, so back to the doctor I went, and three weeks later I found myself in the hospital for a complete hysterectomy. Ahhh.... the joys of being female. I feel much better now (despite the fact that I have lost only about 10 of those 45 pounds - ugh!) but in some respects still feel as if I failed, as the whole idea behind the fertility treatments was to have a child.

After my grieving period, and yes - time spent feeling sorry for myself, I picked myself up and threw my energies into adoption. After countless webinars, interviews, and research I settled on adopting from Russia, which is thrilling and nerve-wracking at the same time. I started the process in January (officially) and just today my dossier paperwork was received by the agency. I could go on and on and on, but for the sake of time I'll end with this - more to come soon!

Oh, and did you notice that for someone who started out with nothing to say I've managed to babble on and on and on - welcome to me! :)