I can hardly believe it has been two years since I packed my suitcase for the last time in St. Petersburg and headed to Baby Home #1, also for the last time. Two years ago today I walked through the doors of that Baby Home with my arms full of clothes for RP, and less than 5 minutes later a scared, squirming little girl was thrust in my arms, and we were on our way to the airport where we would catch a flight to Moscow.
Where has the time gone? I honestly didn't know what to expect when I walked through those doors, proudly carrying my little girl on that cold February day. Although the courts had deemed it so 10 days earlier, I was officially a "Mommy" on that day... and scared to death. What did I know about raising a child? Was this the right thing to do for her? For me? How would she handle the flight to Moscow, and a mere three days later, to the United States?
RP did pretty well on the flight - well, the first half of it anyway. Then she screamed - and boy did she have lungs! I held on tightly, trying everything I could to calm her down and comfort her, but nothing worked. She hated being confined to anything - a seat, a room, anything (as we would soon learn at the hotel) - and was only content when she was walking around. She LOVED to walk, and actually still does, and walking the halls of the hotel was the only way to keep her from crying.
I remember landing in Moscow and calling the driver to come and pick us up. The orphanage had told me that RP had been running a fever the night before and seemed to have a "tummy ailment" so they gave me a blanket and a glass bottle with boiled water in it for her in case he tummy started to hurt again, and these two items have become treasured keepsakes for me, as they are the only two items we have of hers from her life in the orphanage. Turns out I would need BOTH of these items as RP became overheated on our very long trek to the hotel from the airport and proceeded to puke all over the driver's brand new, blinged-out Lincoln Navigator! Yes, this also means she puked all over herself and all over me, so thank goodness for Tide travel which allowed me to wash everything in the tub at the hotel once we finally arrived!
RP's big day ended with a bath, during which she sat in the tub, staring at me with big, blank eyes, as if wondering what else was possibly going to happen to her. It was clear she was scared out of her mind, and she almost refused to blink as she stared at everything going on around her. She went rigid during hugs and kisses, and seemed almost relieved to be placed in her crib for the night, sucking her thumb and rubbing the sheets between her fingers. It was only then that I cried - cried, and prayed to God for the little girl in the crib who was terrified, and didn't realize all the love that was around her.
Fast forward to today. RP is a smart, happy, and healthy little girl. She gives and receives affection willingly and knows that she is the center of the universe to a family who loves and adores her. She is active, going to preschool two days a week, and taking gymnastics, ballet, and as of tomorrow, ice skating lessons, and she makes friends easily. These are the days I dreamed of when I was going through the process of adopting her, and if I had to do it all over again I would in a heartbeat, as these have been the best two years of my life!
Happy Gotcha Day my little Russian Princess!
Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Offensive
I'll be the first to admit that I like a good joke now and then, and that there are times when I think that this world has gotten crazy-sensitive over the need to be "politically correct" all the time. Perhaps that is why I was so caught off-guard with my personal response to this cartoon that an acquaintance posted on Facebook:
Harmless, right? I mean, c'mon, what is offensive about cute little babies? I will tell you what - the "punch line" to this little "joke." Being adopted isn't a punch line. It isn't funny. It shouldn't be used as a derogatory term, an attempt to cut someone down or make fun of them. In short, it isn't funny.
As the parent of an adopted child I can tell you first hand that adoption is the most LOVING thing a parent can do for their child. No, I don't know RP's birth mother, and most likely never will. I do, however, know that she carried her baby full term, and took good care of her while she was in-vitro as RP was born completely healthy. She made the decision to place her daughter for adoption in order to ensure that her child received a life that she simply couldn't give her. She very easily could have had an abortion, or kept her into god knows what kind of life... but she didn't. I can only imagine the pain she went through when having to say good-bye to the child she cared for and nurtured within her own body, knowing full-well that she most likely would never see her again.
I know this because it has to be very similar to the pain I went through when trying to conceive a biological child. I knew in my heart of hearts that my family would be made not through giving birth to a child from my womb, but by opening my heart to adoption. I just knew - long before I even thought about the fertility treatments. Yet I went through them - five times. Each time was more difficult than the previous - stronger drugs, more labs, greater pressure for the process to finally work, and deeper devastation when it didn't. I think I cried enough tears to fill almost ALL of the Great Lakes, and then some. Each time the process failed, I felt that I died a little with those embryos - after all, they were my DNA, they were my "flesh and blood." It still hurts today - just as deeply as it did back then. The problem is, very few people will "let" you grieve for that loss. If you haven't experienced it, you wouldn't understand it. Oh, everyone meant well - cheery "you can try again next month" greetings and promises of prayers always accompanied the loss, and I truly appreciated them all. It just wasn't meant to be.
Deciding to adopt was difficult - not because I didn't want to be a mom, but because it meant putting my heart on the line again and risking more loss. I knew if I went through the process I would adopt internationally, and again, my inner heart knew for years that my child was waiting for me in Russia. I knew the risks of adopting a child from Russia - fetal alcohol syndrome, reactive attachment disorder, and scads of other potential problems and complications - and making this decision would open my heart back up to loss and disappointment, and I honestly wasn't sure that my barely mended heart could take more heartache.
I began the process scared, overwhelmed, and extremely guarded. I dragged my feet on the Home Study initially because I needed to rethink my decision. There were probably a thousand times during the process that I almost backed out, afraid that I couldn't go through with it. Yet I soldiered on, and the day I received RP's picture and information was the first time I truly let my heart open up to this process. I looked into her big, scared brown eyes and KNEW she was my daughter. I just knew. I also knew that even though I had never met her I would give my life for her a hundred times over and move mountains to bring her home and make her my family.
During the process some days seemed like an eternity, and others flew by before I could even blink. I don't remember much about the six months that went by while I was waiting to meet RP, waiting for my court date, then waiting to bring her home. One would think that with all that waiting I would remember LOTS of it - but I don't. I could only hold on for one more day, knowing that I was one day closer to having my daughter in my life forever. That thought kept me moving forward day after day after day, until it finally became a reality. I can't remember my life before RP, nor can I fathom life without her.
RP knows she is adopted. She knows she is from Russia. She knows she was born from her birth mama's tummy, and that she came home with Mommy and Nana on a big airplane from Russia, crying the whole time. She will never get to share a scrapbook of her ultrasound picture, newborn pictures in the hospital with proud family and friends vying for the chance to hold her, or remember blowing out the birthday candles on her first birthday. I have one very grainy picture of her as an infant, age unknown, that I pulled off the Russian database, four pictures of her at 16-months old, and then the pictures from our trips to the orphanage to see her, and finally bring her home. I dread the first school project that requires she share a family tree or bring in baby pictures because we don't have them - and I know kids can be cruel. I want her to know and understand how much she was loved and is loved by BOTH her mamas, and I want her to be proud of her heritage. I want her to be proud of her adoption and be able to speak freely to it.
Why is it that people can proudly say, "I adopted my pet from an animal shelter" or "Our company adopted this stretch of highway to keep clean in our community" but yet find it funny to use the adoption of a person as the punchline of a joke? I know I'm being too sensitive - I do. Yet my heart aches. I don't know why this touched a nerve, but it did, as evidenced by the tears that continue to stream down my face just thinking about it. I'm proud to say I adopted my little girl, and one day I hope she can say she is proud too - proud of her Russian mama who gave her the opportunity for a new life in a new family, and proud of her American mama who moved mountains to make her dream a reality, and while she isn't the perfect mama, she is perfectly happy being RP's mama.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
(Belated) Happy New Year!
As I am writing this I can hardly believe that the holidays have come and gone. As we complete the first full week of January I still have the tree up, gifts to put away, and thank you cards to write, and I am falling farther and farther behind. Today I am making a valiant effort to get the ball rolling, and spent over an hour cleaning and reorganizing RP's room in order to accommodate all the new "stuff" she received for Christmas! I am trying to get rid of some of her baby toys in this process as well, but she is having a harder time letting go of them than I am (go figure!).
Christmas with the family was a fantastic four-day adventure of eating, opening presents, and spending quality time with family and friends. RP was apparently a VERY good girl this year, and the "fruits of her labor" are ALL over this house - inside and out! A new bike, outside playhouse, and roller skates were among her many outside toy gifts, and she received dolls, clothes, books, games, and lots of other nice stuff for inside. Santa was unable to accommodate her request for Rafiki and the hyenas from "The Lion King," but made up for it by bringing her a Batman doll, superhero cape, and a construction workbench complete with battery-operated tools! Yes, my "princess" is very much a little tomboy and alternates from being a princess to a superhero to a rock star on any given day!
I'm still not sure where all RP's "loot" is going to go, but I need to get this house back in order FAST because the social worker is coming on the 17th for our two-year post placement visit. WOW. Where has time gone? Has it really already been almost two years, and has it only been two years that RP has been in my life? While I remember the process of the adoption in almost painstaking detail (the good and the bad!) I can hardly remember a time when RP wasn't THE major part of my life.
I hope everyone reading this had an enjoyable holiday and is geared up for an exciting 2012 - I know I am!!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2011: A Year In Retrospect
I can hardly believe that Christmas has come and gone, and that 4 days from now we will be in 2012. Where has the time gone? As I was reflecting on this during my drive home tonight (with a 90 minute commute I have a LOT of time to reflect!) I couldn't help but remember the following about this year:
1.) RP hit some MAJOR milestones. She turned three in April, started pre-school (in earnest) in June, began taking gymnastics and ballet lessons, participated n her first pageant, and last (but certainly not least!), was FINALLY potty trained! Her speech has improved dramatically and she now knows her ABCs, can count, and is beginning to learn to read and write. What happened to my baby???
2.) Our mega-family vacation to Disney World! Despite crappy weather and large crowds, the kids had a blast, and I'll admit I did too. I'm not sure when, if ever, we will ALL be able to take a vacation like this again, and it was enjoyable to share it with RP, my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my niece and nephews! I was worried about taking RP on a plane ride after our experience flying back from Moscow, but it couldn't have gone smoother - we literally sat down in our seats, she snuggled in and promptly fell asleep until we reached our destination - both there AND back. Now WHY didn't that happen on those international flights?!?!?!
3.) RP's first road trip. We drove to northern Wisconsin for a few days to get away, and so RP could finally meet her extended family of cousins, aunts, and uncles. She was a trooper on the 6-hour car ride, crying only the last 20 minutes or so because she was ready to be done in the car, and we both had a fantastic time visiting family and enjoying the new scenery.
4.) Multiple career changes. I started the year as the Customer Service Manager for an online marketing company, and was promptly laid off as of January 4 (nice of them to allow me to "celebrate" my four-year anniversary with the comapny on January 3rd). Despite some rough goings ever since I returned from my adoption leave for RP, I was still shocked. I was miserable in that job, but it paid the bills, and suddenly I was faced with having to make do on unemployment while I looked for a job. That task was daunting, and I cannot even begin to count the number of resumes I sent out, but I finally went back to work in September more than eight months as a stay-at-home mom. My new official title is Sales Training Specialist, and I was thrilled to be back in training - I just wish my job were actually a little more training and a little less babysitting the sales reps. I am not, however, complaining - everyone I work with is really nice and I'm grateful to be back to work, despite taking a HUGE paycut in accepting this position (but yes, it's better than "living on the system!").
5.) I'm an aunt again! Baby AS joined older siblings AC, EG, AB, and IJ in late October, and it's exciting to have a tiny munchkin in the family again. Does it make me want another child? Hmmm.... yes and no. I love RP to pieces and would do every bit of the process again for her, but I am not financially able to do a Russian adoption again, and I would worry that what little time I feel like I am able to spend with RP would have to be split between two, and I'm not sure that would be fair to either of them. If the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't turn it away, but RP most likely will be an only child - good thing she has GOBS of cousins to play with!
6.) I turned the big 4-0. Yes, it's still hard to write, let alone talk about. How did I get so damned old? Some days I feel every bit of 40 (and then some) and others I can hardly believe it. 40 IS the new 30... right?
7.) Another furbaby enters the menagerie. RP convinced me that she just HAD to get a kitten after Nana got her new kitten late this summer, so we adopted Chloe, a beautiful and sweet calico kitty, in early September. This new addition now brings our household to one Mommy, one RP, one betta fish (Nemo), two dogs, and two cats! It's crazy around here, and I often tell people that if we try to add one more animal to this place I will need a petting zoo license to do so, but it works for us. And no, there will be NO more animals any time soon...
When put to paper, 2011 was a pretty good year. Yes, there were certainly ups and downs, but all in all RP and I were very blessed this year. I hope 2012 is good as well, not just for us, but for all our family and friends, who are the biggest blessings we have in this life. Happy New Year one and all!
1.) RP hit some MAJOR milestones. She turned three in April, started pre-school (in earnest) in June, began taking gymnastics and ballet lessons, participated n her first pageant, and last (but certainly not least!), was FINALLY potty trained! Her speech has improved dramatically and she now knows her ABCs, can count, and is beginning to learn to read and write. What happened to my baby???
2.) Our mega-family vacation to Disney World! Despite crappy weather and large crowds, the kids had a blast, and I'll admit I did too. I'm not sure when, if ever, we will ALL be able to take a vacation like this again, and it was enjoyable to share it with RP, my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my niece and nephews! I was worried about taking RP on a plane ride after our experience flying back from Moscow, but it couldn't have gone smoother - we literally sat down in our seats, she snuggled in and promptly fell asleep until we reached our destination - both there AND back. Now WHY didn't that happen on those international flights?!?!?!
3.) RP's first road trip. We drove to northern Wisconsin for a few days to get away, and so RP could finally meet her extended family of cousins, aunts, and uncles. She was a trooper on the 6-hour car ride, crying only the last 20 minutes or so because she was ready to be done in the car, and we both had a fantastic time visiting family and enjoying the new scenery.
4.) Multiple career changes. I started the year as the Customer Service Manager for an online marketing company, and was promptly laid off as of January 4 (nice of them to allow me to "celebrate" my four-year anniversary with the comapny on January 3rd). Despite some rough goings ever since I returned from my adoption leave for RP, I was still shocked. I was miserable in that job, but it paid the bills, and suddenly I was faced with having to make do on unemployment while I looked for a job. That task was daunting, and I cannot even begin to count the number of resumes I sent out, but I finally went back to work in September more than eight months as a stay-at-home mom. My new official title is Sales Training Specialist, and I was thrilled to be back in training - I just wish my job were actually a little more training and a little less babysitting the sales reps. I am not, however, complaining - everyone I work with is really nice and I'm grateful to be back to work, despite taking a HUGE paycut in accepting this position (but yes, it's better than "living on the system!").
5.) I'm an aunt again! Baby AS joined older siblings AC, EG, AB, and IJ in late October, and it's exciting to have a tiny munchkin in the family again. Does it make me want another child? Hmmm.... yes and no. I love RP to pieces and would do every bit of the process again for her, but I am not financially able to do a Russian adoption again, and I would worry that what little time I feel like I am able to spend with RP would have to be split between two, and I'm not sure that would be fair to either of them. If the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't turn it away, but RP most likely will be an only child - good thing she has GOBS of cousins to play with!
6.) I turned the big 4-0. Yes, it's still hard to write, let alone talk about. How did I get so damned old? Some days I feel every bit of 40 (and then some) and others I can hardly believe it. 40 IS the new 30... right?
7.) Another furbaby enters the menagerie. RP convinced me that she just HAD to get a kitten after Nana got her new kitten late this summer, so we adopted Chloe, a beautiful and sweet calico kitty, in early September. This new addition now brings our household to one Mommy, one RP, one betta fish (Nemo), two dogs, and two cats! It's crazy around here, and I often tell people that if we try to add one more animal to this place I will need a petting zoo license to do so, but it works for us. And no, there will be NO more animals any time soon...
When put to paper, 2011 was a pretty good year. Yes, there were certainly ups and downs, but all in all RP and I were very blessed this year. I hope 2012 is good as well, not just for us, but for all our family and friends, who are the biggest blessings we have in this life. Happy New Year one and all!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The holidays are upon us???
I can hardly believe that Halloween has been here and gone, let alone Thanksgiving. This year, like so many others, I have so much to be thankful for, and Thanksgiving is a great time to reflect on all of our many blessings. Thanksgiving also holds a special place in my heart because two years ago my Mom and I left the Saturday after Thanksgiving to go to Russia and meet RP for the first time. Naturally, every Thanksgiving I remember this, and am oh-so thankful that everything worked out and I am officially her Mommy (yes, even on the days that she has tested my patience to the limits!).
I have been blessed not only with a wonderful daughter, but an amazing family and phenomenal friends. This year truly has been a test, and one of considerable change. After being unexpectedly laid off for eight and a half months, I moved into a new job, one which for the most part I enjoy, although the commute is already wearing on me. To take the job, I had to take a considerable pay cut, and find myself re-evaluating everything from where I live, to the car I drive, to my future career plans. Adding to the challenge of the year, both my Mom and my best friend have experienced health challenges, and I feel helpless standing by and watching as the two women closest to me in this life show courage and strength as they fight to regain their health, and (at the risk of sounding dramatic), their lives.
Yes, there have been the positives as well. RP continues to be the light of my life, and is thriving at home and at school. Yes, she can be a handful at times, but I wouldn't have her any other way. I am an aunt again to a niece, so my parents now are grandparents to three boys and three girls, and I can't wait to hold Baby A and get in some serious auntie-baby snuggles! I would also be woefully remiss in identifying the positives if I didn't add in the latest addition to my menagerie - RP's kitten "Baby Chloe" whom she adores, and who keeps the puppies and Cassie on their toes (literally!). Finally, the love and support I received the entire year from family and friends was truly overwhelming, and really helped to keep me focused and moving forward, despite many days of just wanting to hide under the covers and never come out!
As the year draws to a close and we get ready to celebrate Christmas, I hope everyone takes time to reflect on the year - the good and the bad - and takes time to celebrate with those dearest to you. I certainly can never truly put into words how thankful I am for my family and friends, and can never pay back everything they have given me, but this holiday season I am committed to letting each and every one of them know how special they are to me, and how much they mean to both RP and I. Isn't that what the holidays are all about???
I have been blessed not only with a wonderful daughter, but an amazing family and phenomenal friends. This year truly has been a test, and one of considerable change. After being unexpectedly laid off for eight and a half months, I moved into a new job, one which for the most part I enjoy, although the commute is already wearing on me. To take the job, I had to take a considerable pay cut, and find myself re-evaluating everything from where I live, to the car I drive, to my future career plans. Adding to the challenge of the year, both my Mom and my best friend have experienced health challenges, and I feel helpless standing by and watching as the two women closest to me in this life show courage and strength as they fight to regain their health, and (at the risk of sounding dramatic), their lives.
Yes, there have been the positives as well. RP continues to be the light of my life, and is thriving at home and at school. Yes, she can be a handful at times, but I wouldn't have her any other way. I am an aunt again to a niece, so my parents now are grandparents to three boys and three girls, and I can't wait to hold Baby A and get in some serious auntie-baby snuggles! I would also be woefully remiss in identifying the positives if I didn't add in the latest addition to my menagerie - RP's kitten "Baby Chloe" whom she adores, and who keeps the puppies and Cassie on their toes (literally!). Finally, the love and support I received the entire year from family and friends was truly overwhelming, and really helped to keep me focused and moving forward, despite many days of just wanting to hide under the covers and never come out!
As the year draws to a close and we get ready to celebrate Christmas, I hope everyone takes time to reflect on the year - the good and the bad - and takes time to celebrate with those dearest to you. I certainly can never truly put into words how thankful I am for my family and friends, and can never pay back everything they have given me, but this holiday season I am committed to letting each and every one of them know how special they are to me, and how much they mean to both RP and I. Isn't that what the holidays are all about???
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Officially a pageant family???
Okay, not really. Well, maybe so. Kinda. Sorta. Hmmm...
Let me back up. RP participated in her first "pageant" on Saturday and seemed to LOVE it. I wasn't too sure about leaving the decision to do this up to a three-year old, but what the heck - it was a natural pageant at a local mall, not too expensive, and outside of the entry fees our investment was the $6.00 hair clips I found to match her Easter dress. Why not?
We showed up at the mall 10 minutes before it opened because the registration rules stated that we had to register an hour before the even started, and it was scheduled to start at 11 a.m. - one hour after the mall opened. I was third in line for registration and somewhat surprised that it wasn't more chaotic. Clearly in this neck of the woods people aren't clamouring to parade their children around on stage at 11:00 on a Saturday morning. After registration I had an hour to kill with an active three-year old who was dressed up, hair done, and looking to do more than stand around and preserve this look until AFTER the judging had taken place.
I try to think of myself as a good mom, and I had reservations about doing this from the start. RP gets compliments on her looks all the time, and I have really been working hard to let her know that while it is great to be beautiful on the outside, it's what inside that truly matters. Looks don't last forever - personality, and how we treat others does. I think she gets it. I hope she gets it. Then I ask myself if I am a complete study in contradiction for entering her into something where she says not a word but dresses up, stands on stage, and is encouraged to smile and blow kisses to three people she has never met before, clearly being "judged" only by how she looks??? Hmmm....
She wanted to do it - to the point that she actually took time (all of about five minutes most days, but at her age, five minutes is a LIFETIME) to practice walking all alone, pretending to be on-stage. She told me she wanted to be a princess (not to be confused with those days she wants to be a superhero, or a rock star, or a doctor...) and win a crown and a trophy. Okee dokee - seals it for me. She doesn't need to know that EVERYONE who enters wins a crown, right?
She loved her pageant experience. Me? Well, the judge and jury are still out? I love dressing her up and having Mommy/daughter time with her, and Nana and Papa came out and showed their support (with Nana encouraging her from the crowd by cheering and blowing kisses at her, and Papa acting as chief photographer of the big event), and I have to say that watching her step onstage and have fun with it, instead of being scared or timid was great. She's NOT shy, which is something I have struggled with my entire life, and she loved being the center of attention in the big crowd, although I don't think the judges were as impressed with her onstage spins as Mommy was!
There were two parts I did not enjoy. First off, the fact that I found myself sizing up the "competition" (there was ONE other little girl in RP's age division. One. I didn't even see her until we had to line up to go onstage, so my "sizing up" was of the wrong little girls in the first place!) and even being somewhat catty about what some of these kids were wearing (FYI - in my defense, I found it wrong and Saturday, and still find it wrong today that a mother put her five-year old in light make-up, a short dress, and 3-inch zip-up gold lame' heels - and no, I'm not even exaggerating here!). Being catty about kids just felt wrong, and made for an "icky" feeling before the even even started! Secondly, after the event I found myself mad that RP didn't win the overall queen title for her age division. Now, she won FIVE medals (I can't even tell you what they were for), a trophy for Most Photogenic, and then first-runner up for her age group while the little girl that won only won one other medal, then queen for the division. Let me say for the record that the other little girl and her mother were very sweet, and I was happy to see her so excited to win. I just didn't get how this scoring system worked, and to me it just didn't seem to add up. That being said, perhaps "mad" was the wrong word to use here - I was confused by the whole thing and frustrated that I couldnt' figure it out, but RP didn't know or care about any of this - she got her trophy (and a bonus one to boot!) AND she got her princess crown that she had been talking about all week, which made it all worthwhile. If that weren't enough, RP, who normally goes by her initials and not her full name, insisted the entire day that she be referred to by her full name only, as it was a princess name and she was a princess for the day.
Will we do it again? Honestly - dunno. I have asked RP a few times since yesterday if she wants to do it again and sometimes the answer is "yes," and sometimes it's "no." What I do know is that if she wants to do it again we will, but in the same type of event - low key, no make-up, no tanning, no fake hair, etc. etc. etc. I'm fine with big poufy dresses and curly-que hair, but that's where we draw the line. As long as she is happy with it, wants to do it, and has fun with it, we can try just about anything. They always say that you never know about something until you've tried it, and this is something that we can say we tried... and the smile on her face at the end of it was worth it all!
Let me back up. RP participated in her first "pageant" on Saturday and seemed to LOVE it. I wasn't too sure about leaving the decision to do this up to a three-year old, but what the heck - it was a natural pageant at a local mall, not too expensive, and outside of the entry fees our investment was the $6.00 hair clips I found to match her Easter dress. Why not?
We showed up at the mall 10 minutes before it opened because the registration rules stated that we had to register an hour before the even started, and it was scheduled to start at 11 a.m. - one hour after the mall opened. I was third in line for registration and somewhat surprised that it wasn't more chaotic. Clearly in this neck of the woods people aren't clamouring to parade their children around on stage at 11:00 on a Saturday morning. After registration I had an hour to kill with an active three-year old who was dressed up, hair done, and looking to do more than stand around and preserve this look until AFTER the judging had taken place.
I try to think of myself as a good mom, and I had reservations about doing this from the start. RP gets compliments on her looks all the time, and I have really been working hard to let her know that while it is great to be beautiful on the outside, it's what inside that truly matters. Looks don't last forever - personality, and how we treat others does. I think she gets it. I hope she gets it. Then I ask myself if I am a complete study in contradiction for entering her into something where she says not a word but dresses up, stands on stage, and is encouraged to smile and blow kisses to three people she has never met before, clearly being "judged" only by how she looks??? Hmmm....
She wanted to do it - to the point that she actually took time (all of about five minutes most days, but at her age, five minutes is a LIFETIME) to practice walking all alone, pretending to be on-stage. She told me she wanted to be a princess (not to be confused with those days she wants to be a superhero, or a rock star, or a doctor...) and win a crown and a trophy. Okee dokee - seals it for me. She doesn't need to know that EVERYONE who enters wins a crown, right?
She loved her pageant experience. Me? Well, the judge and jury are still out? I love dressing her up and having Mommy/daughter time with her, and Nana and Papa came out and showed their support (with Nana encouraging her from the crowd by cheering and blowing kisses at her, and Papa acting as chief photographer of the big event), and I have to say that watching her step onstage and have fun with it, instead of being scared or timid was great. She's NOT shy, which is something I have struggled with my entire life, and she loved being the center of attention in the big crowd, although I don't think the judges were as impressed with her onstage spins as Mommy was!
There were two parts I did not enjoy. First off, the fact that I found myself sizing up the "competition" (there was ONE other little girl in RP's age division. One. I didn't even see her until we had to line up to go onstage, so my "sizing up" was of the wrong little girls in the first place!) and even being somewhat catty about what some of these kids were wearing (FYI - in my defense, I found it wrong and Saturday, and still find it wrong today that a mother put her five-year old in light make-up, a short dress, and 3-inch zip-up gold lame' heels - and no, I'm not even exaggerating here!). Being catty about kids just felt wrong, and made for an "icky" feeling before the even even started! Secondly, after the event I found myself mad that RP didn't win the overall queen title for her age division. Now, she won FIVE medals (I can't even tell you what they were for), a trophy for Most Photogenic, and then first-runner up for her age group while the little girl that won only won one other medal, then queen for the division. Let me say for the record that the other little girl and her mother were very sweet, and I was happy to see her so excited to win. I just didn't get how this scoring system worked, and to me it just didn't seem to add up. That being said, perhaps "mad" was the wrong word to use here - I was confused by the whole thing and frustrated that I couldnt' figure it out, but RP didn't know or care about any of this - she got her trophy (and a bonus one to boot!) AND she got her princess crown that she had been talking about all week, which made it all worthwhile. If that weren't enough, RP, who normally goes by her initials and not her full name, insisted the entire day that she be referred to by her full name only, as it was a princess name and she was a princess for the day.
Will we do it again? Honestly - dunno. I have asked RP a few times since yesterday if she wants to do it again and sometimes the answer is "yes," and sometimes it's "no." What I do know is that if she wants to do it again we will, but in the same type of event - low key, no make-up, no tanning, no fake hair, etc. etc. etc. I'm fine with big poufy dresses and curly-que hair, but that's where we draw the line. As long as she is happy with it, wants to do it, and has fun with it, we can try just about anything. They always say that you never know about something until you've tried it, and this is something that we can say we tried... and the smile on her face at the end of it was worth it all!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Updates - finally!!!
Yes, I know - my last two posts have been about being a slacker at keeping this blog updated, so I won't say it, even though that is what has happened. I can't believe we are already into November - a mere three weeks from Thanksgiving and SEVEN weeks from Christmas! Where has the year gone? They say time gets away from you the older you get, and "they" (whoever "they" are anyway!) weren't lying!
Where to start? RP is doing fantastic, despite a few rough patches over these last several weeks. She has completed her second session of gymnastics and already started her third, and still loves the rough-and-tumble time it allows her, although she now runs and jumps through the house repeatedly, which is fine for now but keeps me up at night thinking about when she actually learns how to do flips and watching her do them through the house - ugh. I will be an utter basketcase! She also has started ballet class, and absolutely loves it! It's just through the park district, but it's a perfect intro for her and she has a friend in the class as the daughter of one of my high school classmates is in her class, so she loves playing with Sami after class every week. She has a couple of weeks off between sessions, but will be in her first dance recital in January and I already can't wait - although, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was disappointed to find out that the kids don't get actual costumes for the recital but rather wear their normal class attire. Good thing we purchased the "Ballerina in a Box" costume set from Danskin - she is set with her own tutu already! RP has also expressed an interest in taking figure skating classes, but that is going to have to wait a bit - she is already at pre-school two days a week, ballet one day a week, and gymnastics one day a week. Maybe it's me, but that seems like plenty for a three-year old!
As if our schedule wasn't packed enough, RP is going to compete in her first pageant on Saturday. It isn't a "Toddlers and Tiaras" pageant, which is the only reason I'm letting her do it, but she gets to wear a pretty dress and all the kids get crowns at the end. My little competative soul, however, has already told me that she is "going to winnit Mama," while "de other girls are gonna lose..." I swear I didn't teach her this, but her competative spirit fits right in with the family - we've all always been competative! I'm excited for her and think she'll do great, but I'm afraid I'm going to get more stressed out than she is, and it will be a nightmare. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Work is going well. Being a remote employee definitely has its ups and downs, and the commute for the most part just sucks. I figured out that I put over 100 miles a day on my vehicle, and when you drive a mini-van that gets 19 mpg because your previous job had you driving less than 30 miles per day, it really adds up. I've been looking at getting a new car but just can't find one I like, or that I can truly afford right now that will give me maximum mpg. I used to love car shopping, but my last employer wiped all the fun from that experience so this has just been a chore and a half... and then some. The work is definitely more challenging on many levels than I originally gave it credit for, and mind-numbing in other areas, but it is steady income and I am enjoying it so far.
Finally, this wouldn't be a full and complete update without noting that I am an aunt again - for the FIFTH time! Baby Anna arrived Friday afternoon, four weeks early, and is headed home tonight. I can't wait to see her and hold her, but Mom and baby are doing great and that's great news for right now! She is the youngest of five, and I still can't get over the fact that I now have FIVE nieces and nephews. Five. Wow. I don't know how they do it - RP keeps me hoppin' to the point that I can't fathom taking care of one more, let alone four more of her. Guess that's why THEY have five, and I have RP - God gives us the family we were meant to have!
Whew! This was LONG, and long overdue! Hopefully it won't be as long for my next post, and I'll have exciting news to share, along with some new pictures!
Where to start? RP is doing fantastic, despite a few rough patches over these last several weeks. She has completed her second session of gymnastics and already started her third, and still loves the rough-and-tumble time it allows her, although she now runs and jumps through the house repeatedly, which is fine for now but keeps me up at night thinking about when she actually learns how to do flips and watching her do them through the house - ugh. I will be an utter basketcase! She also has started ballet class, and absolutely loves it! It's just through the park district, but it's a perfect intro for her and she has a friend in the class as the daughter of one of my high school classmates is in her class, so she loves playing with Sami after class every week. She has a couple of weeks off between sessions, but will be in her first dance recital in January and I already can't wait - although, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was disappointed to find out that the kids don't get actual costumes for the recital but rather wear their normal class attire. Good thing we purchased the "Ballerina in a Box" costume set from Danskin - she is set with her own tutu already! RP has also expressed an interest in taking figure skating classes, but that is going to have to wait a bit - she is already at pre-school two days a week, ballet one day a week, and gymnastics one day a week. Maybe it's me, but that seems like plenty for a three-year old!
As if our schedule wasn't packed enough, RP is going to compete in her first pageant on Saturday. It isn't a "Toddlers and Tiaras" pageant, which is the only reason I'm letting her do it, but she gets to wear a pretty dress and all the kids get crowns at the end. My little competative soul, however, has already told me that she is "going to winnit Mama," while "de other girls are gonna lose..." I swear I didn't teach her this, but her competative spirit fits right in with the family - we've all always been competative! I'm excited for her and think she'll do great, but I'm afraid I'm going to get more stressed out than she is, and it will be a nightmare. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Work is going well. Being a remote employee definitely has its ups and downs, and the commute for the most part just sucks. I figured out that I put over 100 miles a day on my vehicle, and when you drive a mini-van that gets 19 mpg because your previous job had you driving less than 30 miles per day, it really adds up. I've been looking at getting a new car but just can't find one I like, or that I can truly afford right now that will give me maximum mpg. I used to love car shopping, but my last employer wiped all the fun from that experience so this has just been a chore and a half... and then some. The work is definitely more challenging on many levels than I originally gave it credit for, and mind-numbing in other areas, but it is steady income and I am enjoying it so far.
Finally, this wouldn't be a full and complete update without noting that I am an aunt again - for the FIFTH time! Baby Anna arrived Friday afternoon, four weeks early, and is headed home tonight. I can't wait to see her and hold her, but Mom and baby are doing great and that's great news for right now! She is the youngest of five, and I still can't get over the fact that I now have FIVE nieces and nephews. Five. Wow. I don't know how they do it - RP keeps me hoppin' to the point that I can't fathom taking care of one more, let alone four more of her. Guess that's why THEY have five, and I have RP - God gives us the family we were meant to have!
Whew! This was LONG, and long overdue! Hopefully it won't be as long for my next post, and I'll have exciting news to share, along with some new pictures!
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